Things I’d Rather My Guy Do for My Birthday than Buy Me Jewelry

As I’ve mentioned on here a few times now, my birthday just recently passed. And in case you weren’t aware, I’m real big on birthdays. I celebrate mine like it’s a holiday. And I make a point to celebrate the birthday of my loved ones like it’s a holiday as well.

So because most of my friends and family know how big of a birthday person I am, I inevitably get at least one of the following questions: What would you like for your birthday? What do you want for your birthday?

And as frustrating as it is for them, my answer is usually that I don’t know.

Part of that is because as I get older, I find that if I really want something, I just go ahead and get it for myself instead of waiting for my birthday or Christmas for someone else to do so. But it’s also because I am absolutely one of those people where the thought of the gift matters more than the gift itself. Get me some really nice jewelry that you happen to get everyone else every year — it just won’t be as significant to me. But take the time to make me a card, when you didn’t do that for anyone else (or only for a select few)? Now that, I will cherish.

This year, I suppose because my friends and family are tired of hearing me say “I don’t know,” only two people asked me what I wanted. Somehow, I was able to scrounge up something for them, but the really special presents came from those who just took it upon themselves to do something (or those who gave money — because you can never go wrong with that). This got me to thinking about what I would want my guy to do or get for me. Back in 2012, I mentioned that all I really needed was acknowledgment of the day, and that’s true to an extent if it’s early on in a relationship — but let’s be real, most people want something if you’re with the person.

After some careful thought, here’s what I came up with:

Spend quality time with me — This is an addendum to the acknowledgment post, and mostly comes from my renewed sense of the importance of time I recently blogged about. Thing is, I tend to lead a pretty busy life and also tend to date guys who lead pretty busy lives. So sometimes, the most special thing a guy can do for me is just to carve out some time for the two of us to spend together doing absolutely nothing.

Surprise me with, well, anything — Another reason I don’t like telling folks what I want is because I enjoy (good) surprises. So when someone calls me unexpectedly at midnight on my birthday, it’s such a great feeling! Or if I showed up at work and find a bouquet of flowers from my guy — listen, I would be over the moon. That happened once from someone who wasn’t quite my guy, and I was over the moon, so you know… Shoot, SGWMMS called me from out of town unexpectedly this year, and I’m pretty sure I was cheesing for a good ten minutes afterward. Basically, surprises never fail folks.

Take care of something I can’t do — There’s not a lot I can’t figure out on my own, but some stuff just isn’t for me. Like these knick knack shelves I’ve been meaning to mount on my living room wall for the past few months. I don’t have a power drill, nor do I know how to use a power drill, nor do I want to know how to use a power drill. But I want these shelves up, so coming home to some freshly mounted shelves would be the perfect present. Or having my guy walk up to the apartment, swaggin’ with the power drill in his hand….. mmmmmhmmmm, now that would be a happy birthday!

Sing to me/Play an instrument (if you can) — I’ve already mentioned how I love it when a man sings to me, even if he can’t really sing. But sing Happy birthday to me?! I’m guaranteed to be all swooney afterward if we’re together. Same goes if you play an instrument. Last year, a guy I’d gone on a few dates with called and played the Happy birthday song and followed it up with “When the Saints Go Marching In” on his trumpet. I was so in awe while listening to it on the phone. You should have seen me. I was all like, “for me?! Really?!” My friends next to me were cracking up laughing, but whatever, it’s not about them.

Create or buy something with only me in mind — For example, last year most of my really close friends turned 30. And because it was such a milestone birthday, I wanted to make sure I got them presents that they would really like, but also that were special to just them. So what did I do? One friend’s favorite Disney movie is Cinderella, so I got her a ticket to go see it on Broadway. Another friend loves dressing up and getting fancy, but no longer had a full length mirror, so I got her a HUGE one that matched the exact color of furniture in her bedroom. Another friend loooooves hats and functions she can wear them to, so I got her a custom made fascinator she could wear to any fundraiser, church, or fancy brunch she decided to attend. And they loved their gifts! My guy wouldn’t have to always go all out like that, but just by taking a moment to think about what I really like or if there’s something he can make that goes with any inside jokes we have, he would impress me a whole lot.

Take us on a trip — Remember when I mentioned that I was learning I had a real love for traveling last year? Well, funny enough, despite all the trips I’ve been on, I’ve never taken one with just my guy. I think that would be loads of fun to do as a birthday idea.

Anyway, those are just some of the things that I can think of that I would love more than jewelry (if jewelry is something he gets for everyone). Do you all have any preferences for your birthday?

Why I Don’t Include New Guys into My Birthday Festivities

Me at one of my 20+ birthday celebrations with friends…

My 31st birthday is in a few days, and while that is exciting and thrilling, it also brings up a question I’ve had to deal with anytime I’m single-but-dating in May. Namely, do I want to incorporate dude into my birthday plans with my friends?

Usually, especially if it’s relatively new, my answer is no. I’m just not a fan of introducing someone into my large group of compadres before I’ve even had a chance to vet him. Now, we can still do something if he wants, but I tend to prefer small and separate with a new guy.

For example, a couple years ago, I was just starting to date a guy in late April, and so we went out on a date, but I didn’t invite him to the party I was having at Great Falls, Va that weekend. Not every guy is as understanding about that arrangement though — and really, he wasn’t all that thrilled either. He just didn’t have the clout to say something about it.

This year, things are a bit different. I have one guy in my life who I’ve been dating for awhile now (SGWMMS), and then a couple others who I very recently met. Said guy is out of town, so that’s not a factor. But the other two? Oh they are here… and while one of them seems to understand the unstated rule, the other has been trying to slide his way into the festivities on the slick tip.

I want to tell him, “Nah bruh — we not there yet. Slow your roll!” But that would be rude, so I end up saying things like, “Oh, well I have friends coming in town [true] and we have set plans [eh, kinda true — at least Saturday night], and those don’t really involve people we don’t all know [absolutely not true at all].”

Am I wrong here in thinking spending time with my closest friends should be something reserved for someone I’ve gone on more than one date with?

Full disclosure, some of my friends would tell you that the other 2 guys are not invited because they’re not SGWMMS, but that’s just not true. I’ve never been that person that likes mixing company before I have a feel for the person myself.

Shoot, my mom just made a joke to me the other day about how my youngest sister is almost as bad as I am about holding information on guys close to the chest until I’m ready. “Actually, scratch that,” she said. “No one’s as bad as you. It’s like pulling teeth to get you to talk about someone you’re dating, much less to have us actually meet him.”

“Mom, you know how I feel about that,” I reminded her. “When you need to know about dude, that’s when you’ll know — and not a minute sooner.”

Same goes for my birthday. When you’re at the point where you can hang with my friends, you will. And not a minute sooner. That’s just my birthday philosophy.

What about you all? Do you have restrictions on introducing new folks into your birthday plans?

A Birthday Surprise: A Shoe Story

Shown – Aldo nude slingbacks worn by Darby

“Hey beautiful. Happy Birthday.”

“Hey!”

I smiled. Standing before me was the guy I’d been sorta kinda dating for a couple months, picking me up for a birthday date from my appointment at the hairdresser. I hadn’t really expected much from him since we hadn’t known each other that long – but there he was, flowers and card in hand and looking – dare I say, nervous? It was really sweet… the kind of thing that makes you want to go from sorta kinda dating someone to actually dating him. The kind of thing that makes you happy you wore those nude slingback heels from Aldo instead of the flats you’d contemplated about that morning. The kind of thing that just puts a big smile on your face.

If only the date had stopped there.

“Thank you,” I replied, leaning in to give him a big hug.

“You’re welcome. I had to do something, right? I know how big of a birthday person you are.”

He’d been listening, I thought to myself. So even though I’d been nervous about this date all day, suddenly – I was put at ease. Surely, he wouldn’t do anything to make this night go badly.

We walked to his car – me still so surprised at the effort he’d put into things and basking in the glow of my flowers and the card that strategically had his name on the front.  The effort, unfortunately, hadn’t extended to his outfit, which included a white t-shirt, jeans, and kicks, but hey – I guess you can’t expect perfection, right? The only problem was that since I’d decided to wear those heels and my khaki shift dress that day, we looked like quite the odd couple – a fact that even while basking in my glow, I couldn’t quite shake.

He opened the car door and showed me that the surprises weren’t over yet. Waiting for me on my seat was a pretty, round birthday cake with my name on it in beautiful handwriting, just urging us to dig in. Yep, at that point – I was good to go. I picked up the cake, slowly made my way into the seat and then leaned over to open the door for him while he walked over to the driver side.

I was excited now and couldn’t wait to see what would happen next.

Since he’d bought a cake, my first thought was that we were going to go near the Potomac or by the monuments or even to the National Harbor to sit around, hang out and enjoy the weather, and eat this cake that was now calling my name. But as he continued to drive, I realized that thought was wrong.

“So where are we going,” I eventually asked.

“Don’t worry. You’ll be happy about it.”

“Well, I was just wondering because we have this cake we need to eat, but we don’t seem to be heading near any place where we would actually eat it.” I chuckled – one of those “now I’m actually getting nervous” kind of chuckles.

“Don’t worry. We’re going some place nice to sit and eat dinner,” he said. “I can’t have you outside in that dress and those heels.”

“Okay,” I replied. I was still worried, though.

Twenty minutes later, we pulled up to a restaurant that looked nice, but also looked to be slightly out of his price range.

“This is where we’re going?”

“Yep – nice, right?”

“Yea.”

You could probably see the butterflies flittering in my stomach. Sure, I was a big birthday person, but I certainly didn’t want him to spend this kind of money on someone who didn’t even consider him her man.

I didn’t say anything, though, and just followed him into the restaurant, noticing even more now the difference in our clothing choices. Who decides to bring someone to a fancy restaurant in a white t-shirt and kicks, I thought to myself. I was also now acutely aware of everything. I could hear the difference between the click clacking of my heels on the pavement and the sliding, slightly swooshy sound his sneakers and jeans made. And I noticed the way the hostess looked at me and then him and then back at me in confusion as if to say, “really girl?”

But I remembered his comments to me in the car – “Don’t worry.” So I happily (at least outwardly) walked with him to our table and slid into the booth, making sure not to trip on my heels as I walked or expose my “Britney” when I sat.

The beginning started off nice enough. We ate and talked about what we’d done so far during the day, laughing about everything and nothing at the same time. And while there were moments that were really good, for the most part, things had been off from the moment we walked into the restaurant. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but he was just… different. He’d started reverting to class clown antics whenever the waitress came by to see about us, to the point that I felt the need to apologize to her on a few occasions. And he made more than a couple comments about how I just had to wear my heels that night and show him up. He’d laugh while saying it, but I could tell he really meant it.

I was confused.

Did this man not know me? Because of course I was going to wear heels for something that was pitched to me as a birthday dinner, unless I was explicitly told not to. And further more, if anyone was dressed inappropriately for our surroundings, it certainly wasn’t me! I mean, what the hell?!

The more the dinner went along, the more frustrated and annoyed I grew. What had happened to the sweet guy who’d picked me up a couple hours before then? Who was this person sitting in front of me, chip on his shoulder, not confidant at all, and taking swipes at the waitress every chance he could get? Finally, after realizing that this dinner date was becoming too painstakingly awful for either of us, we asked for the check.

While he was looking at the bill, I sat and watched his reaction – not because I was expecting one, but because there was one so significantly happening in front of me. He was clearly flustered. And in one minute, he’d looked at the bill a few times, looked in his wallet, looked at the bill again, and then looked in his wallet again – like someone continuing to open the refrigerator even though they know there’s nothing in there they want. I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Is there a problem?”

“Uhhh, yea……… I don’t think I have enough to pay for this.”

“Wait, what??”

“I don’t… I don’t think I have enough to pay for this.”

“But you picked… ”

He interrupted me. “I know.”

“So how…”

“I just don’t.”

“But you said, don’t worry!”

“I know.” His head was down. I’m sure it was humiliating for him. And I wasn’t sure if I felt sorry for him or if I was angry at the position he’d put us in or both.

“Well, how much are you missing,” I asked – now acutely aware I was about to pay for my own birthday dinner that I didn’t even ask for.

“About 50.”

“50 dollars?”

“Yea.”

Oh, it was definitely more of the latter. Especially because his calculation of lacking $50 didn’t begin to include the tip.

“Fine,” I said and pulled out my credit card, handing the bill back to the waitress with his money and my credit card now in the folder.

“I’m really sorry.” His voice had turned to almost a whisper at this point. I cared, but I was still pretty upset.

“Uh huh. It’s fine.”

We moved in silence the rest of the night – from the walk back to the car to the ride home. When he finally pulled up to my apartment complex, I picked up my flowers, card, and cake, thanked him for night, and stepped out of the car – no hug, no smile back, and certainly no kiss to end the night. As far as I was concerned, me and my heels (that I’d supposedly worn to show him up that night) had had enough of him, and I just wanted to go upstairs and try to enjoy the last couple hours I had left of my day.

Thirty Thoughts on Turning 30

Photo Credit: soulmatereading.com

“I’m a grown woman. I can do whatever I want. I can be bad if I want. I can do wrong if I want. I can live fast if I want. I can go slow all night long. I’m a grown woman.” ~ Beyonce’, Grown Woman

So I know I promised you all a new post would be back up on Wednesday, but that was before I crashed on my couch upon returning to the District from my Chicago visit. I just didn’t have it in me guys. Will you forgive me?

On the bright side – we’re back!! And since I’m now officially a part of the 30 club, I (of course) have some thoughts. Here are my top 30 – some of these are in quote form, because you know that’s how I roll – and all are specific to me, but can be used for others (possibly):

1. I didn’t have the freak-out moment I thought I would have at midnight. I still haven’t actually. But that’s also probably because I’ve been preparing myself for this for a year now so that there would be no bombarding of strange emotions.

2. I still don’t like the idea of being blindsided by emotions, as evidenced by this tweet:

So about this turning 30 thing – am I supposed to feel different when it happens? Should I be preparing myself? These are real questions.

— Darby Baham (@darbybaham) May 13, 2013

3. I also still lie about having a boyfriend when unattractive, but really nice guys ask me out on dates.

4. I’ve learned that, clearly, some things just don’t change.

5. Strangely, I don’t feel the pressure I felt on my 29th birthday to get everything done now. Don’t get me wrong – I still want “everything,” as some of my friends might say… but I’m learning to trust the process as well as the promise. And it’s so freeing to my soul.

6. This quote from Nicki Minaj (yes, her!) pretty much gives me so much life right now — “If you realize that you are the only you on this planet and no one can do what you do – you’re free to make mistakes. You don’t have to compare yourself to other girls; [you] just be the best you that you can be, love yourself, forgive and forget, and enjoy your life.” It’s kinda my 30 year mantra.

7. My confidence level is on ten right now – mostly because I think I’m getting to the point where I’m really learning who I am, and I’m so good with this woman. There was a time when I wasn’t happy about who I saw in the mirror; I wasn’t confident in my abilities; I didn’t know what I brought into this world and in my relationships. That hasn’t been the case for some time now.

8. The older I get, the more I realize just how important my friendships are in my life. The women and men who have chosen to become like family members for me continue to keep me grounded and inspire me in so many ways, but they also show me so much love. I am forever indebted to them.

9. I’m not ready to stop having fun and doing slightly ain’t ish things just because I’m 30. As a good friend of mine said this weekend, “this is the time for us to live it up as much as possible and make as many (non-detrimental) mistakes as possible,” because, really, no one wants to be that person when they’re 40 with a husband and kids.

10. At the same time, though – I hope that I do less stupid ish now than I did at 23.

11. I am actually happy where I am in my career. That doesn’t mean I’m content, but I’m also not frustrated like I’ve been in the past. I like what I’m doing, and I see where it can go from here.

12. On a related note, I’m starting to understand that you can be happy even when you’re not content on staying exactly where you are.

13. So about those 30 year-old eggs? There’s seriously no cheaper way to freeze them? Because $15,000 per egg is kind of a lot of money to spend just because I’m worried that by the time I’m ready to be somebody’s momma, it’ll be too late.

14. I have so much anticipation for the next 10 years of my life. It’s a strange feeling because I didn’t think this way when I was turning 20. But I just see so much happening in my thirties, and I can’t wait to experience it.

15. You know how people always ask what you would tell your younger self if you could talk to her/him now? I’ve figured it out: “Don’t fret the small stuff. They won’t matter that much to you later on, and worrying yourself crazy won’t change the outcome.”

16. Grown Woman by Beyonce’ is the perfect song to dance in the shower to while drinking your wine or liquor of choice. Trust me on this.

17. I’m no more ready for that great love than I was on May 16, 2013. I want to eventually find it with the right man. I’m thrilled by the idea of it. I believe that God will supply me with it. But it also still kinda scares the crap out of me.

18. I am no longer afraid to admit the things that scare me.

19. But I still HATE showing my thug beech baby tears to anyone.

20. I’m learning to take time for myself. I’m probably still going to plan out my activities – both fun and work – when I’m especially busy, but I’m getting much better at at least scheduling down time for myself. I think it’s made me happier.

21. My birthday presents to myself this year were new business cards and a pair of Darby shoes from J Crew. I like what that symbolizes in my life (and I didn’t even do it on purpose): it’s the perfect mixture of business and pleasure – kinda what I like my life to be.

22. “I never completely understand a character until I know what kind of shoes she wears.” ~ Kerry Washington. I’ve realized that’s pretty much how I approach a lot of my storytelling when I write. It’s also how I approach my outfit choices when I stand in my closet. This is no coincidence.

23. One thought I had immediately at the stroke of midnight on the 17th was – “wow, I’m here… in this moment, and nothing else really matters more than that.” Other things obviously matter, but I’d like to enjoy more moments like that – experience them for what they are, not what they will or can be.

24. That includes my dating life.

25. When I think of my goals for the future (those next 10 years in particular), I am all at once thrilled, nervous, excited, scared, anxious, calm, and expectant. It’s an interesting space to be in, and I feel like those feelings only seem to intensify as I get older.

26. Five years ago I stopped looking for other people to make me happy. Crazy thing is, that’s when I started enjoying the people in my life so much more. Now, I’m happy with me, but I’m also so glad I have them too.

27. Even on my birthday this year, with sooo much going right, there were some things that went slighty wrong. There were some missed calls I wish I’d taken, some people whose voices I really wanted to hear – but I only got to text, my Harold’s mild sauce wasted on our way back to Pimp C’s place, heck – even one of my toe-nails smudged after the pedicures we got. But that’s not at all what I think about or will remember when I think about my 30th or my trip to Chicago. I’ll remember the great memories, the laughter, the surprise champagne and cupcakes at the nail shop, the dancing in the club, the message from my sweet goddaughter and her mommy, the different variations of the happy birthday song I received over the phone, the race to call me first between my mom and my baby sister, my dad almost crying on the phone, and the surprise birthday present I received when I got out the shower at 12:05am. What I mean to say is I’ll remember all the good times, and that’s how I plan to live life in general – focusing on the good. If I regret anything in life, it’s that I didn’t get to that point sooner.

28. I love and own my quirks like never before, stuff like speaking and writing in looooong sentences lol

29. My travel plans for this year are stupid, good! I have a trip planned for almost every month starting in May — and I can’t wait!

30. By the time my parents were 30, my dad was the father of 3 and my mom was the mother of 2. While I can’t say the same, they also can’t say they’d done some of the things I’ve done so far by 30 either. What does that mean for me? It helps remind me what MandyPants always says: “Your blessing is your blessing. You can’t take someone else’s and even if you could, it wouldn’t fit you and you wouldn’t want it.”

So those are my top 30 thoughts about turning 30. If you actually got through all of those, you deserve a cookie! But, I know some of you have reached this milestone already – so I’d love to see what one or 2 thoughts you’d like to share as well.

Tips for My Future Husband – #11

Celebrate my birth with me!

I’m a HUGE birthday person.

Always have been.

And I guess you can probably blame it on my family and friends, because they have found different ways since I was a baby to show out on that day. Starting from my first and second year birthday parties that had Strawberry Shortcake themes, I’ve managed to have some pretty great birthdays. Last year’s 29th was no slouch either, featuring a combination of attending a Drake concert with one of my besties and spending the next day at Great Falls, Va with some of my other faves. But it’s all the ones in between those two that make me really smile when I think about them.

I can still vividly remember my 6th grade birthday that included a slumber party of 20 girls at my grandparents’ house. We did everything that night – showed my grandma how to do the Creep dance, told scary stories, tried to make someone be light as a feather, stiff as a ghost – I mean we did it all! And of course, I can’t forget my skating party birthday or the first birthday my parents allowed boys and girls to attend at my house. Those were indeed the days.

I can also remember my Sweet Sixteen, fully equipped with a big party at my place, a DJ, all of my friends from High School, and my uncle standing in the den, looking through the sliding glass door and staring down me and my boyfriend at the time. My dad, for his part, was much cooler about the situation. Not to be outdone, there was also the year I graduated from grad school and turned 24 in the same weekend, and my girls helped me celebrate both milestones in style. And, of course, there was the year one of my faves traveled all the way to DC just to join me on a New York city weekend trip.

But as great a job as my friends and family have done to make me feel special on my day of birth, the men who I’ve dated have also significantly contributed to my birthday memories. I’ve had guys call me on the 17th of every hour to sing Happy Birthday, bring me to a different city so they can spoil me for the weekend, surprise me with flowers and a cake, treat me to dinner, and more. These weren’t extravagant gestures – but they were enough to remind me that on that day, he felt like I was the most important person in the world.

So of course, I’d want future hubby to join in this trend… but not just join it. He needs to set. it. out! Not necessarily set it out in an expensive way, but be creative, think outside the box, show me he’s been thinking about this day?  Oh hell yes!

Listen, my close friends will tell you that I like to go all out for their days. If I’m with them, I want to make sure they have the best day possible. And if I’m not there, I call and do birthday raps and opera versions of the birthday song; I text them Happy Birthday in different languages. I get them gifts that required thought and that I know they’ll appreciate – I really just try to show them they are special to me and that their birth is something to be celebrated.

So when it comes to my future hubby, I genuinely hope he will do the same, because I surely plan to  set the bar high when it comes to his day. And honestly, he’s got some big shoes to fill, because the people who have come before him have done their part to set the bar pretty high as well.

————

Hey guys, so I’ll be taking the next few days off from the blog to just enjoy my birthday amongst good friends. Be on the look-out for the next post on Wednesday, May 22nd, but also feel free to catch-up on any posts you may have missed in the meantime. Love ya, and I’ll catch you on the other side of 30!!!

Cake, Cake, Cake, Cake!!!!

Photo Credit: Flickr.com

Guess what folks?! It’s May!! – which means we’re now officially in my birthday month, and I’ll be 30 before you know it.

I think usually this time starts to be one of reflection for a lot of people. I’ve seen folks freak out and start feeling like they haven’t achieved anything and thinking they are so far behind what they expected at 30. I’ve also seen people get really introspective about their beliefs and their actions.

Me? I’ve started thinking about all the fun ish I want to do that I haven’t done just yet.

You know, like come home to a naked man, sitting there with a cake on top of him… waiting for me to blow the candles out (ahem).

TMI? Okay, well then this post isn’t the one for you lol. Stop right here and come back on Friday. I won’t feel bad……………… Still here? Wonderful!!

So what brought about this new, crazy fun bucket list of ideas? Well, while recording the next podcast (wooot!), it came up that I’d never had a one night stand before. Really??? – my friends who’ve known me for ten years asked rhetorically and incredulously. Really. So they, kind of jokingly, gave me an assignment. And even though it was a joke – it got me to thinking, why not take it on as a real assignment?!

I mean, I’m about to be 30! It’s time to celebrate!

Funny enough, for the past year, I’ve been slightly stressing over the fact that I didn’t feel almost 30. Don’t get me wrong – I love my life, my bills definitely remind me that I’m grown every month, and I’ve lived a lot of great and fabulous moments so far. But when I thought of 30 — it just seemed like I should feel wiser or more adult. That I shouldn’t still be thoroughly enjoying the time I spend with my hair in a high ponytail, Howard/Georgetown sweats on, dancing around my place without a care in the world. Or getting giddy anytime I think about wearing my perfect date dress for that perfect date. Or hell, creating drunken hashtags with a certain friend who shall not be named.

But I do all of that! And I love doing all of that! And I realized a few weeks ago, after talking to said friend, that my 30 may be different from what I expected – but in many ways, it’s still very 30. So while the idea of kids and a husband still scare the bejeesis out of me (for now, that is), there’s other things that I’m very adult about. I have my own apartment, I have a great job, I have plenty of travel plans, and my little sisters insist that I remind them of Martha Stewart on a regular basis. And even if none of those things were the case, I’d still just be an even different form of 30. But 30 nonetheless.

So okay – I’ll take it. I’m Martha Stewart with more than a few tats and an appreciation for a good glass of Hennessy and Coke. And I feel like the real fun is just beginning.

To help with that fun – I’ve now got a temporary, not at all completed, crazy bucket list of things I can’t wait to try! Feel free to make any suggestions in the comments section if you can think of more.

– I’m serious about that man and the cake.
– Also, naked Saturdays whenever my future husband does come in the picture are a definite must.
– Be a part of a flash mob dance
– Vegas baby!
– Actually do one of my Tuesday night amateur specials.
– Lay out on a yacht while singing “I’m on a boat!”
– Have a one night stand.

Listen… it’s about. to. go. down. 30 is so not ready for me.

It’s Really QUITE Simple: What a Woman Wants on Her Birthday from the Person She’s Interested In

Photo: Free-Extras.com

Do you remember when you were in junior high school and your birthday came around? If your school was anything like mine – your friends pinned money on your chest, gave you one of those HUGE birthday cards which usually had tweety bird or some other cartoon character on it, and gave you a bunch of balloons. If you had a boo at the time, he’d probably also get you some flowers from the same store at school that sold all the other items. You walked around with this stuff all day, barely able to walk really – but you felt appreciated and everyone who came up to you said HAPPY BIRTHDAY and probably added a dollar to the collection on your shirt.

If this was just a New Orleans thing, just go with me here (and also I’m sorry that you missed out on this tradition, kind of like how I think everyone should have grown up playing parade with their brothers, sisters, and cousins)…

Either way, for a small amount of money – you were the happiest person in the world. No grand gesture was needed (despite what it sounds like, since everyone got those things – balloons and a card didn’t constitute as a grand gesture), no jewelry purchases were required, no all out day long dates were planned – the people in your life simply acknowledged your day, and you were happy.

In the same way, I think that’s what most women want from the person they like – it’s simple and true: plain old acknowledgement of your day.

I was talking to a good friend 2 weeks ago and told her how this guy I’m sorta kinda maybe but not really seeing (yes, I know that’s a lot) wanted to take me out for my birthday. At the time I told her, I wasn’t sure if I should say yes. A part of me wanted to, but I also didn’t want it to be a big thang. After letting me talk for a bit, she countered with, “Do you know how many guys just avoid me around my birthday because they think I want some big extravagant thing? If he wants to take you out, that’s a point in his book as far as I’m concerned.”

She continued: “what’s really crazy is that usually, all I want is a call showing me that you remembered. If I got that, I’d probably be cheesing all day.”

She was right. I remembered all the times I was interested in a guy and we were still in that getting to know you phase or maybe in that “should we be trying this dating thing with each other” phase and all I wanted from them was a call. Everything else that may have occurred was simply sprinkles on the cake. In fact, one of the most romantic and still memorable birthday gestures I’ve had from a guy I wasn’t in a relationship with simply involved him calling me. On my 22nd birthday, he called me on the 17th of every hour and sang Happy Birthday to me.

Okay, I’m not saying do all that. You really can just call once. But even with that, he didn’t have to buy anything. He didn’t have to take me out. And yet, I have friends who remind me about that day to this day – 7 years later (!!!). I had someone bring it up just yesterday, actually!

So remember people, when it comes to the woman in your life – just make the call. I promise you that that one phone call will absolutely make her day. And really and truly, she’ll be putty in your hands.

NOTE: this message is not for people already in relationships. Don’t get caught up and try to tell your girlfriend/fiance/wife I said all you wanted was a call!