Frontin-burg — Population: 1

15 11 2013
All smiles everything... Photo: www.smileysymbol.com

All smiles everything…
Photo: http://www.smileysymbol.com

“I was just fronting (you know I want you babe). I’m ready to bet it all, unless you don’t care at all. But you know I want you (you should stop fronting babe).” ~ Pharell, Frontin’

A few weeks ago, MandyPants and I were engaging in our usual chatting/texting during work when I mentioned to her that I guessed I could no longer deny that I was beginning to like said guy “who puts a smile on my face,” and that I was starting to really look forward to seeing him again when we weren’t together. Did she share in this joyful, yet scary revelation of mine or even hit me with a frustrating, but understandable¹ “awww that’s so cute!” when I admitted these feelings to her?

No. Absolutely not.

In fact, her response went a little something like, “Glad you finally joined us in reality. You were living in Frontin-burg.” Damn, homie — for real? Frontin-burg? “Yep,” she said. And then she went even further, saying that she (and probably all my really close friends) already knew what I was now texting, but that she was waiting on me to be ready to admit it. “You weren’t ready to at first, but I could see it all over you at the brunch,” she said.

Sigh.

Well, all that conversation did was make me want to retreat back into Frontin-burg for fear that I was letting the world into my secret without even knowing it. But I ultimately knew MandyPants was right. And she wasn’t the only one pointing out the difference in my demeanor lately. While catching up with another good friend a few days later, I found myself in a similar conversation.

“Hey, you seem, I don’t know, happier than the last time we talked,” she said.

“Really,” I asked.

“Yeah, not that you weren’t happy before, but now you seem almost giddy. But like someone who is trying to contain that excitement.”

Talk about getting a read through the phone… twice in the same week! Well, I went on to tell my girl a little bit about the recent developments with said guy, but that I probably just seemed happier because of the different way I’ve been approaching life this year. And then I made a statement I’m not sure I’d ever made about a man before — that while he doesn’t make me happy, I am realizing that I’m happier when he’s in my life and around to share in the other things that make me happy.

“That’s great, Darbs,” she exclaimed. “But have you told him that?”

Huh? Uh. No, I hadn’t.

“Why not?”

Because I was clearly still living in Frontin-burg, that’s why. Maybe it’s time I rectified that.

1 The “awww that’s so cute” reply is frustrating because no one really wants to get that response back when they’ve just admitted they like someone to a friend. But it’s understandable because I’ve texted and emailed that reply on numerous occasions. CCB/Erika can testify lol

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