I’m One of Those Girls that…

20 09 2013

If you hadn’t noticed, around here on Choices, Voices, and Sole, I’m very into accepting who I am (quirks and all) and getting others to accept things about themselves, as well.

So when I saw someone tweet recently that she was one of those girls that made lists for everything and even actually added items to her list when she finished them, just so she could cross them off the list — I thought to myself, “Ohhhh emmmmm geeeee I’m totally that girl too!”

And then I realized something funny – we women spend so much time trying not to be that girl, whatever that girl represents at the time, that we miss out on the fun of just being ourselves sometimes.

So on this Friday, I’d like to change that (even if just for a day).

Here are some of the things that I’m totally that girl about, and I have no shame in these at all:

1. Just to expound a bit on this list thing… I am definitely one of those girls who makes a list for everything. Need groceries? I make a list. Weekend coming up? I make a list on what I’m going to do, and yes – despite protests of friends, I add my social activities on there as well. I even make lists about who I plan to call during the day. And yes, if I do something (or buy something) that was not already on the list, I add it to the list and cross it off. Don’t judge me lol

2. I am absolutely one of those girls that gets giddy when she talks to a guy she likes. My voice changes, I can’t stop smiling, I want to talk about him all the time, and y’all already know I twirl my hair… oh yea – I’m that girl.

3. I’m also one of those girls who will find a way to justify a great shoe purchase. “Sure, it may not have been in my budget, but I needed this pair of pumps. All my other black pumps are starting to wear down.” <– I said that to someone the other day. And when she countered with the fact that I actually bought not one, but two pairs of pumps, I still found a way to justify it. “But I needed the pink ones too,” I protested. mmmm hmmm.

4. And finally, I’m definitely one of those girls who will at least ice grill you if you’ve done my friend really dirty. Petty stuff I don’t usually get into, but if I saw a friend cry over you? Oh, best believe – I’m not a happy camper.

But enough about me – what about you all? What are some things that make you laugh about yourself and say, “mmm hmm I’m that girl, alright”? And guys – I don’t know if you all talk about being that guy, but if you do – join in the fun as well! It’s Friday. We might as well laugh at ourselves together.


Hey folks, guess what?! Voting started for the Black Weblog Awards this past Monday. Please take a moment to vote for Choices, Voices, and Sole for Best Sex or Relationship Blog. I would truly appreciate your support.

Voting is absolutely, positively FREE and ends September 26th. You can vote here — > http://www.blackweblogawards.com. And don’t forget, after you vote — be sure to tell a friend as well!


Top 10 things I think Joe Biden is probably thinking right now…

20 07 2012

I got a lot of thoughts in this head of mine, son. A lot.

A long time ago, I used to do some posts in which I’d theorize what some important political figures were probably thinking at the time. Since we’re full on in election season now, I figured I’d bring it on back. So let’s jump right in…

Here are the top 10 things I think Joe Biden is probably thinking right now (if we could listen into his thoughts):

1. Speaking after Romney at the NAACP convention? Talk about perfect timing. #winning!!!

2. Listen, I know a lot of people think I’m the fun-loving, say whatever I want nutcase of the administration, but really, I’m very intelligent and informed. I just choose not to give a BLEEP what others think.

3. Could you turn down this smile? I think not. Voters – remember that.

4. Did you see this commercial we just put out? Don’t tell me you think that guy sings better than my guy.

5. Despite the Republicans trying to hate on me and my main man, Barack – I still think the signing of the new health care legislation was a “big f$cking deal!” Hate on haters.

6. WHY do people think I make funny faces all the time? Do I? Hmmm. I guess I need to go practice looking dead inside in the mirror.

7. Y’all know Barack (ahem, the President) is having a birthday party at his house in Chicago for his 51st birthday right? You know it’s about. to. go. down. Right? Tag me (on Facebook)! Do people still say that?

8. I know it may seem like I’m harping on the fact that Mitt Romney has invested more money over seas than in America when I’m talking about him on the campaign trail. And I am. But it’s true, so that makes it okay. #Boom

9. Why am I using hastags when talking to myself? I don’t know. These things just happen sometimes.

10. Some of them try to rhyme but they can’t rhyme like me, some of them try to rhyme but they can’t rhyme like me, some of them try rhyme but they can’t rhyme like me, some of them try to rhyme but they can’t… cuz I’m the miggety miggety miggety mack daddy…. Oops, probably shouldn’t let people know I’m rapping that. Well in that case…. Vote Obama/Biden this November!

Hey… it’s OKAY (Part DEUX)

13 07 2012

Photo: Glamour.tumblr.com

Sometime ago (like four years to be exact), I did a post that was inspired by Glamour Magazine’s popular “Hey, it’s OK” section. Their section in the magazine and my previous post listed things it was OK to do and say that may normally seem ridiculous to others.

Glamour listed things like:

…to begin thinking about lunch at 9:35 A.M.

…to start your to-do list with a task you’ve already done.

…to shove it in the closet and consider your place cleaned. (NOTE – I totally do this!)

And I listed things like:

…. to decide that pair of shoes is worth your lunch for the week, if it’s a “to-die” pair that you may never see again, just happens to have one pair in your size, AND it’s on major sale –  but ONLY like once every 4 to 6 months.

Basically, it was your chance to indulge in your indulgences.

And since it’s Friday and it’s the summer (a very indulgent time anyway), I figure let’s do it again! I had fun last time seeing what some of my readers came up with… let’s see what we can get this time.

I’ll start, of course.

Hey, it’s OKAY

… to spend an entire weekend vegging out and watching romantic comedies, Lifetime movies, and The Hills on repeat.

… to create to-do lists that include not just work, but also your planned fun activities for the week/weekend.

… to shamelessly flirt with the bartender so you can get free drinks anytime you go back to that bar.

to play 2 hour dress-up for a date with that guy you really really really like.

… to call your friends and gush and giggle about how well that date went as soon as you get home.

… to buy yourself a faaaab pair of shoes (or 2 or 3) for your birthday. If you don’t treat yourself, who will?

… to do everything from wishing on a star, crossing your fingers, knocking on wood, and praying to God that the job you want comes through, the guy you want wants you back, and that dream you’ve held on to becomes a reality.

Alright folks, that’s some of mine. What about you all? Don’t be shy!

PS: Hey guys, I had a chance to do a guest blog post for my girl Michelle at Michelle’s Motivations. Check me out when you get a chance – 2 guesses as to what it’s about. Oh, I won’t make you wait – it’s about my love for shoes, but with an inspirational twist. Go now… go!! —-> For the Love of Shoes

APRIL FOOLS! – Tricky Things We Women (Sometimes) Do

4 04 2012

“You so cute with no make-up. (Wait hold up) Wait up. Is that make-up? Okay, it’s cool you fooled me…” Trey Songz, Don’t Wanna Come Down

Alright, I know it’s actually a few days past April Fools, sue me – actually don’t. Forget I said that. Anyway, even though it’s a few days later, I figured that I would provide a little more insight into some of the things we women do that some men folk know about, but for the most part are usually fooled by. Don’t worry, it’s not anything malicious – but it is kind of funny sometimes to know just how clueless guys can be.

So don’t say I never did anything for you… okay?

The No Make-up Make-up

The best of these “tricks” and probably one of the more obvious ones, considering the lyrics I chose for the top of the post, is the natural make-up look. I can’t tell you how many guys have said to me something like, “I love that you don’t wear make-up” or even better – “wait, I didn’t realize you had freckles” when they actually do see me without make-up on.

Let’s be clear, guys. Some women don’t wear make-up, yes, but most women know how to wear make-up that makes it look like they don’t have it on and they just happen to have the most even skin in the world  ALL. THE. TIME. Right. Just as a heads-up, you should just assume there’s some make-up involved (in your head, of course). No need in calling us out on this trick – after all, we do it for you. Everyone isn’t this bad, but did you see Trina Braxton’s bags under her eyes when she didn’t have any make-up on? EEK.

The BFF Shaper

I don’t wear mine very often, because every woman will tell you they are uncomfortable as BLEEP, but I’m pretty sure every woman has at least one of these things. That’s why I called it the BFF. And FYI – it’s so not size dependent. I have friends who are size 4s that wear shapers.

I’ll never forget when one of my guy friends found out that Beyonce wore shapers. He was so distraught. When I explained to him that the chances were very high that if he saw a really hippy woman with a small waist and everything was extremely smooth, that she was probably wearing a shaper, you would have thought I killed his cat. And he doesn’t have a cat.

The Extra-neat Apartment/House

We all know how important it is to show a guy that you keep a clean apartment – even if neither of you actually do. I won’t lie – I tend to keep my apartment clean until I find myself doing too much in life and then it’s all in shambles. (So basically no one is allowed over right now lol.) And this is precisely the time that a guy will want to come over. So what do you do as a woman?

Throw everything in whatever catch-all place you have in your home.

Mine is my second/storage closet in my bedroom. It has served me well over the past year and a half. Of course, now that I’ve divulged this secret – I may need to make some changes. hmmm. Anyway, please don’t think this is just for a guy we want to date. It took 5 or 6 years before Cosby ever saw my apartment slightly dirty – but he also never looked in my storage closet. So maybe it was a mutual understanding.

Okay, that’s enough for now. I’m not trying to get kicked out of my gender. Hope you all had a great April Fools and you didn’t get tricked too badly. Ladies – did I miss anything?

Tips for My Future Husband – #3

7 11 2011

Laugh at my jokes

I like to laugh. That’s not a groundbreaking revelation, because really who doesn’t like to laugh, right? But I like to laugh a lot. And not the cute giggle or chuckle kind of laugh. Nah, son – I like to belt out my laughter, mouth wide open, teeth completely exposed. It makes me feel good.

Have you ever laughed so hard that you looked around and people were looking at you and wondering what in the world was so funny? Yeah, I like those kinds of laughs.

I like the laughter that lasts so long and is just so good that tears begin to flow, not because you’re crying but because your eyes are laughing too. I like those can’t breathe, sliding on the floor, crawling under your desk type laughs.

Seriously. I like to laugh.

So what does this mean for my future husband? Well, while most people want a guy who can make them laugh (me included), I also want a guy who can laugh with me at my jokes. Now, listen – I’m not saying that I could star on Comicview anytime soon (when it was still funny), but I do crack myself up all.the.time. And I hang out with funny, snarkalicious arse people who in turn bring out the snarkle bunny in me and make me think I’m a regular comedienne.

What kind of marriage would we have if I’m sitting over there laughing about something stupid I said or did and he’s sitting over there straight-faced? Oh no. I need someone to laugh when I do things like fall off the bed when I’m trying to be sexy, cuz trust me – that might just happen. I need someone to laugh with me when I’m laughing so hard that a snort comes out. I need someone rolling on the floor with me when something absolutely ridiculous happens and I make a quick dry one-liner about it.

Now, don’t worry – I’ll give you good material. But whether it’s simply an embarrassing moment or one of my infamous word vomit occasions, or whether I’m desperately trying to remember a joke that someone much funnier than me told me one time, I will need future husband to laugh. And not because he knows I want him to laugh – because he actually thinks I’m funny. That will be one of the true tests. Does he get me? Even when I’m sitting down and just bust out laughing about something that happened hours ago, cuz that might just happen as well.

I can’t have all these things happening while future husband is looking at me like ‘wth is going on with her?’ I want him to join in. And I definitely want his eyes to laugh too.

Tips for My Future Husband – #1

8 06 2011

This past Friday night, CCB and I attended what I am now terming “the loudest concert I’ve ever been to,” and probably a top 5 contender. Yep, that’s right – we went to the NKOTBSB concert (New Kids on the Block and Backstreet Boys for my uncool friends and readers lol).

The concert was tres awesome. Jordan Knight still hit those high arse notes he was known for back in the day. Joey McIntyre still had the ladies thinking about throwing their panties on the stage. Donnie Wahlberg showed us what a 50 year old man should always look like. Nick Carter was having church on the stage all night. Brian Littrell gave me his same smooth tones. AJ was rocking those same gritty, but in tune notes he was known for… And they were all dancing and strutting across the stage (and in the audience) like it was 20 and 10 years ago, respectively.

More important to the point of this post, however, was the moment when the Backstreet Boys brought audience members onto the stage and sang one of my (and CCB’s) fav BSB/90’s songs of all time – I’ll Never Break Your Heart. We were pure jelly bellies.

And it made me think, how awesome would it be if the future Mr. D-Magic decided to do something of that nature for me? On our wedding day. Ummmm, hello… it would be beyond awesome. But he wouldn’t stop with just singing one song, of course. No, no… I fully expect Mr. D-Magic to be a very creative man. So he’d go all out with it, and that brings us to the here and now. A post about a tip for him, whoever he may be. I’m thinking I’ll probably do a series of these, not consecutively, but definitely consistently. More than once every 6 months, less than 1 a month.

So here’s tip #1.

Plan out and execute a medley of 90’s r&b/pop songs to surprise me with at the wedding reception. He can use his groomsmen to help, as clearly most of these songs will be boy bands in some way. (Yes, Boyz II Men, New Edition, and Shai are boy bands… they’re just black.)

Now before you get all crazy on me, this is by no means a demand. I’m not going bridezilla here. In fact, when I find the man I want to spend the rest of my life with who feels the same way to the point we actually decide to act on it, the last thing I’m going to do is say, ‘uh baby – here’s what I need you to do for me….have you and your groomsmen become a boy band for like 10 minutes.’

I mean, part of the fun of this is that it’s a surprise, right?

BUUUUUT… if he so happens to go back in my archives of this blog one day while he’s trying to decide what he can do on our special day – voila! Here’s a tip, especially for him. (See boo, I’m doing this for you…lol.)

Anyway, back to the tip. Let’s be honest. What woman wouldn’t want her man to bust out with a medley of ‘Baby, I’m yours,’ ‘On Bended Knee,’ ‘If it isn’t Love,’ and even a bit of ‘Let’s get married’ with his boys??? I’m getting excited just thinking about it again. No costume changes needed. Just a few leg slides and creative twirls around the mic stand.

That’s all a girl really needs.

What do you guys think? Ladies, are you as excited as I am about this? If so, what songs would you want sang at your wedding? Fellas, would you do it? For the one…?

Dating Expectations

7 10 2010

The other day, I wrote about not having dating expectations when I was 19 and I figured today was as good a day as any to clarify that statement. Just as I have said before that I think you learn your needs sexually, the more sexually active you are (whether with yourself or others) – I also think you also learn your dating needs the more you get out there and date. So what may seem like a perfectly fine date at 18, probably wouldn’t still be considered that at the ripe old age of 27.

For example, at 18, I believed that dinner and a movie was the perfect first date. It’s what everyone else did, right? But over the years, I’ve found that it’s actually the worst thing you can do on a first date. Third or fourth date? Fine. But on the first date, you don’t want to spend half of the time you’re supposed to be deciding whether or not this person is worth a second date not talking to them or interacting with them in some kind of way. As for the dinner part of the dinner and a movie date, you either feel rushed because you chose to go to dinner first and now you have to make a certain movie time or you risk a Man on Fire debacle like I had – the movie either drains you because of it’s weight or it’s so long you don’t want to do a long dinner getting to know you session afterward.

Now, of course it isn’t always the case that what was deemed appropriate at 18 is no longer appreciated ten years later. Some dates are universally good or universally bad. A date to the carry-out will never seem like a good idea, whether it’s your very first date or your 125th one.* On the other hand, something fun and active like playing pool or going to Dave and Buster’s always wins.

Which leads me to one of my first dating expectations – probably the most important thing that I want in a first date is to enjoy myself. Yeah, you want to get to know the person, but I think the best way to do that is through laughter and enjoyment. If a man can make you laugh for 3 hours straight, chances are he’s someone you’re going to want to see again soon. This doesn’t mean that it has to be some extravagant outing; you can keep it simple… but boredom never wins. And I’m Khaled. All I do is… well, you know the rest.

The next dating expectation is actually learning some things about the person you’re on a date with (and vice versa). I know that sounds like a duh moment, but unfortunately, I’ve been on dates where after it was over, I couldn’t tell you more than the guy’s last name. You can imagine that didn’t go very far, right? lol The reason this is so important is because it ties into the art of listening and communication. A guy can tell you all night what accomplishments he’s had and what he likes to do and what his favorite cartoon is, but if you didn’t bother to listen and hold that information in – that shows right there that your interest was not piqued. On the other hand, if the date ends and you can fill out an eMatch profile on the guy, I’d go ahead and say that you might like him. I could be wrong – he could just be a talker… but I’d be willing to bet 10 cents I’m right. (and that’s the highest amount I ever bet)

Lastly, I’d say that you need to want to know more. Something about the date needs to make you curious about the next one. If the date ends and you don’t want to know more about the person you were on a date with, if you don’t want to immediately see them again, it may have been a perfectly fine date – but as far as I’m concerned, it didn’t live up to my dating expectations.

What do you guys think? Any dating expectations that I missed or do you think having expectations to begin with is the wrong route to go? Someone did say something about no expectations, no disappointment or something like that. I’m not sure if I’ve decided it they were wise or not.

* And if you think I’m making that up as an extreme, unfortunately for one of my good friends, I am not. Some guy actually thought it was a good idea to bring her to a place called Horse and Dickies on H Street in DC for a first date. If you’ve never been to Horse and Dickies or don’t live in DC, just imagine a place where you can get fried everything that’s the size of someone’s bedroom in the middle of hot arse, humid August. Yeah – never a good idea.