On Fitness and Feeling Sexy

28 03 2014
This is how a lot of people feel after a workout... but not ME! Photo: http://www.womansday.com

This is how a lot of people feel after a workout… but not ME!
Photo: http://www.womansday.com

Do you remember how I told y’all I feel like Xena Warrior Princess after a workout? Well, I lied.

Not in a bad way, though. More like as in that wasn’t the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

You see, I do feel like Xena immediately after a workout. In fact, sometimes (when my legs don’t feel like complete putty), I feel like jumping and screaming and shouting things like “YEAH, TAKE THAT! HUUUH!” But maybe like 10 to 15 minutes later, I feel something entirely different.

I feel sexy as hell.

Maybe it’s the adrenaline that I’ve built up or the confidence boost when I’ve slayed the treadmill or kick-boxing beast. Maybe it’s that the very last thing I want to do after working my ass off in an intense workout is eat some bad food to ruin all of my good work, so my desire for food turns into a different desire? I don’t know. But whatever it is, your girl gets very, very frisky.

Like as in future hubby should probably think about having some gym equipment in our home, because I may just want to tear off his clothes and jump his bones 15 minutes after I finish every work out. Every. Single. Workout. (Post-shower, of course, unless he wants jump in there with me.)

I think maybe it’s something about feeling extra toned in that moment. Like the fact that everything is as tight as it’s going to be right then and there makes me want to take advantage of the timing. It could also be that I start thinking about my guy working out too and you know, the sweat dripping all over his bawdy, and that gets the engine revving up as well. Or heck, it’s very possible it’s the songs I listen to while I workout. I mean, when Beyonce’ is singing about feeling comfortable in her skin, it makes me feel comfortable and sexy and hot and bothered in my skin too! And then I want to sit my —— on something and… let me stop.

All I know is that it’s not really a phenomenon I would have expected to happen for me. I don’t usually equate the gym with sexy time, but these days, I most definitely do.

Hmmm. Maybe it’s also something to that whole “women reaching their sexual peak later in life” thing.

Either way, it’s an extra bit of motivation to keep going. And hey, that can’t be a bad thing.

What about you all? Am I the only one who gets a little excited post workout? And is there something you never expected to get you going but absolutely does? Let’s share!





Go Ahead and Free Yourself

19 11 2012

2012 Popular Vote Map of America
Credit: Mark Newman, University of Michigan
— Oh, you mean the states aren’t as divided as some people might think? Shocker.

So I’m sure by now you’ve heard about the idiotic folks who have petitioned the White House to “peacefully” secede from the United States of America. Of course, to no one’s shock, Texas and Louisiana are leading the pack with several thousand names listed on their petitions.

What has been slightly shocking is the mainstream Republican response to the petitions, which has been to publicly denounce and reject them. I mean, when you have Gov. Rick Perry saying it’s a stupid idea – you know it’s a stupid idea. And yet, as days pass, the count keeps rising and the number of states petitioning keeps getting larger. Never mind that you don’t actually have to prove that you’re a different person or that you live in that state when you sign the petition.

Things have gotten so crazy, in fact, that we’ve now even seen a petition created to strip the citizenship of anyone who signed the previous petitions. It is really getting pretty foolish out here.

Have we forgotten what it actually means to be a part of the United States of America? And I’m not even talking about the symbolism and all that jazz. I’m talking about the border protection that Texans might not believe exists, but somehow protects them from being overtaken by the Mexican cartel every year. I’m talking about the federal assistance Louisianans and Mississippians receive every time a hurricane damages those states. I’m talking about the Medicare, Medicaid, and Social Security being used by all the residents of the states petitioning to secede. All that goes away if you’re no longer a part of the collective. Maybe that’s something the petitioners didn’t have a chance to think about though. Who can think about rational things like that when you’re just so angry that that guy won again.

What’s even crazier about these petitions is that they are being created by random arse people who haven’t actually taken these ideas to a vote in the states they claim to be representing. I know when I voted in this last election, there was no amendment on the ballot to have Louisiana secede in case President Barack Obama won re-election. Plus, look at that map at the top again. Even in Texas, there’s a lot more blue parts than one might initially think. What would Austin do? Or New Orleans? Or Atlanta? None of those extremely blue sections in those states would be down for seceding. Heck, based off of the Republican response to the ideas, maybe some of the really red parts would be against it too? What would the residents in those cities do? Would they have to move to other parts of the country?

Again, I say it’s all really foolish. But since these people really want a response from the White House, here’s what I would tell President Obama to say to them (even though I know he won’t): Take Fantasia Barrino’s advice, and go ahead and free yourself. If you’re that unhappy and you think you can do it on your own, go do it. I’d love to see you try.

And then I’d want him to do his gangsta, “I’m still the president” walk as he leaves the podium. It would only be fitting.





Hey Republicans, Don’t Spam My Texts!

2 11 2012

Photo: CarInsurance.Org

This Tuesay night, around 8pm, I received the following text message:

Obama voted against medical care for late-term abortion survivors while in IL. Stop Obama!

Say what, say huh?

At first, I thought it was some kind of crazy text spam, but when I logged onto my Facebook account, I noticed many of my friends had received their own variations of the Stop Obama text messages. Is this what we’re resorting to in politics? Illegally texting (well, anonymously emailing to text as a loophole to the illegal part) people to scare them into voting against the President?!

This is just… wow.

I’ve dibbled and dabbled in politics enough that sadly not much tends to surprise me. This though? Oh, it surprised me. Kinda scared me (big brother is always watching). And definitely, definitely pissed me all the way off.

It’s bad enough I have to see commercials spewing foolishness about the sitting President of the United States (you know, when I’m actually watching live TV), but now I have to be subjected to it through my texts as well! Whether I want to or not! What the hell?!

On top of that, do you know how cruel it is to send a text to a single woman on a Tuesday night?! When a text comes through, I’m hoping it’s from that guy I met the other day leaving the gym. Or maybe the guy who still makes me giggle on the phone even though he lives a million miles away. Or better yet, some guy I’ve met recently wanting to see when I’m available for date. So imagine my uber duper disappointment when I  saw that it was from some anonymous conservative group, berating the man I already voted for!

I mean, people – if you’re going to skirt the legal system and text folks semi-illegally, shouldn’t you at least do some kind of marketing research first?!

A: I already voted – for the other guy.

B: Even if I hadn’t, everything about me is opposed to Romney and what he sometimes stands for: I’m Black, a woman, educated, I like birth control and don’t think I have a right to tell another woman what to do with her body, I have beautiful friends who are gay whose weddings I’d like to one day attend, I have massive student loans from graduate school, and I’m all for getting as many people healthcare as possible… you know, just to name a few things.

Also, ummmm how dare you just ASSUME I have unlimited text messages! I do, but what if I didn’t? I’d have been charged for this crap???!! Let me tell you something right now – if this becomes a trend for other campaigns, we will have a problem.

I already have to avoid text messages from exes looking to see if cuffin’ season has me in a particularly vulnerable mood. The last thing I want to do is have to avoid Conservative attack groups too on my cellular phone.

This is not OK. Do you hear me? There’s not one bit of okay-ness involved in this mess.





PSA: Street Heckling is a Lose Lose for Everyone

26 09 2012

Photo: blog.bitterstiletto.com

“I’m not a prude, I just want some respect… no, my first name aint baby. It’s Janet. Ms. Jackson if you’re nasty.” ~ Janet Jackson, Nasty Boys

By now, most women are used to hearing the “say ma” and “hey baby” comments when we walk down the street. We’re probably even used to the whistling and the “psst psst” noises. We don’t like them, but we’re used to them.

If you live in major city like I do, you might even be used to hearing the proverbial “why don’t you smile little lady” question, as if you’re supposed to walk down the street grinning like a Cheshire cat all day long. (No seriously, I love to laugh – but that question is just stupid.)

But you never get used to the ones that attempt to make personal and sexual statements about you. And you certainly never get used to anyone trying to follow or touch you in the process of heckling.

The other day, I experienced two out of those three while running to another building in DC in an attempt to handle some 9 to 5 business before the office closed at 5pm. I stepped off the train at 4:52pm and while I was looking to make sure I went in the right direction to get to my destination, I was immediately approached by this guy who had it on his mind that he was going to say every lewd comment under the sun to me. He walked up to me (and continued following me while I made my way to the building) and started mentioning how I was “just like he liked ’em: thick and bright.” And how he had all kinds of sexual acts he wished he could do to me if I just gave him the chance. If you’re wondering – yes, he was about to start listing them.

Now, this was not the first time some random dude in DC thought it was a good idea to comment on the fact that “I was just like he liked ’em.” I talked about the most memorable one in one of the Girl Talk podcasts (a guy on the train who told me he liked ’em thick and light skinned and if it were up to him, he’d have me bent over in a thong and heels all day long), but there have been more than a few occasions where men have made similar comments. And yes, I’m usually more upset about the denial of my chocolatiness than the assertion of my thickness.

Anyway, that day, I wasn’t having it. It was now 4:54pm and I needed to get to that office before they closed at 5. I took off my sun glasses, turned to him and gave that man the meanest stare I could conjure up. I never said a word, but I didn’t need to – he got the hint. I was neither in the mood for his shenanigans nor was I okay with them. I’d just finished running through the Metro like OJ in the 80’s, but with a bum toe. And if I’d had the time, he might have gotten more than a 5 second stare down from me. [Yes, when I’m pissed, I think I’m more gangsta than I really am – moving on…]

Luckily, he backed off.

Now, I’m not naive enough to think that my death scare frightened that man off, although it was pretty epic. More importantly, I think that he got the hint that I was not going to turn around and find his words amusing. I wasn’t going to laugh or giggle or give him any kind of positive reaction. Thing is – I don’t think any woman ever does.

And this is what amazes me about the heckling thing anyway. It’s definitely not new, as evidenced by Janet Jackson’s song from the 1980s. And yet, I’ve never heard anyone say “oh, I met my boo when she was walking down the street, and I told her I wanted to phone her, not own her. She turned around and the rest was history.” That ish doesn’t happen.

All heckling does is make the woman either angry, creeped out, or scared (depending on the level of heckling involved). And then the man doesn’t end up with a phone number or a possible date – he ends up with a death stare or finds himself at the end of a curse out by said woman or maybe even in handcuffs if he really went too far.

Who’s winning here?

If you answered no one, please go ahead and give yourself a cookie. You’re right – no one is winning. So why does it constantly happen? Why are women subjected to this kind of thing on a daily basis and what are men getting out of doing it? It seems to me like most men would understand that you have a greater chance of getting a woman’s positive attention by walking up to her, saying hi and introducing yourself.

So what causes so many men to venture into this lose lose opportunity? Any theories? Cuz I’d really like to know.

PS: Thanks to some of my amazing readers, Choices, Voices, and Sole was nominated in 4 categories for the Black Weblog Awards. Please take a moment to head over to their page to vote for yours truly in the following categories: Best Writing in a Blog, Best Personal Blog, Best Blog Post Series (for the Shoe Stories) and Best Sex or Relationship Blog. You can vote here –> Black Weblog Awards voting page. Semi-finalist voting ends October 1, 2012.





Guess Who Won’t Be Placing Sports Bets this Year… *Raises Right Hand*

10 08 2012

I doubt this guy would flake out on his betting responsibilities…

Well, well, well folks – it’s that time of year again and with preseason football officially underway, I’ve decided one thing for sure this year: no sports bets with men.

Why, you might ask? Oh, the reason is very simple – because rarely if ever do they make good on their bets when they lose to a woman. I know that’s a generalization, but it comes from empirical evidence I’ve procured over the past several years.

If you’ve been reading this blog for awhile, then you know that I’m a woman who is girly but also thoroughly enjoys her sports. I also tend to have good teams (what can I say, winners roll with winners) that I root for, and now tend to either date or befriend men who are rivals of said teams. So the logical thing to do when those factors collide is to bet on the games in which our teams face off, right?

Hmmmm.

Well, the only thing wrong with that is that for the past several years, my teams have all won said face offs. I’ve placed no less than 5 sports bets in that time with various men (and money was not involved as I don’t like to bet over 10 cents on anything – seriously, I’m a great cheerleader, but the worst person you want to bring to a casino if betting is what you want to do), won all 5 bets and had a whopping ZERO men make good on them.

What kind of fockery is that, I ask?

The kind that only men feel like they can get away with. Now, listen -I haven’t always had this string of good fortune when it comes to my teams. In fact, on occasion, I’ve been on the other side of winning (yes, I refuse to say I lost lol). And you know what happened? I owned that and did what I had to do. I wore the stupid outfit or sang the stupid song or even performed the ahem, “activity” asked of me. All because I respect the unwritten rules of sports betting.

But what have I received in return? No love, I say. No love at all. I’ve received excuse after excuse for why said guy couldn’t make good on his bet and so enough is enough… no more bets for me. No more double or nothings, because what happens is I win again and then the guy still doesn’t make good on his bet. No more believing in “oh I got you this time.” None of that.

I’ll just stick to enjoying the feeling when my team whips their teams’ butts. And I guess that’ll have to be enough for now lol.





5 Reasons She’ll Lose Your Phone Number

4 05 2011

In my mind, she's pressing the END button.

Today’s post has been generated by yet another Cosmo article. I know, this happens at least once every 2 months… but what can I say, they entertain me! (Don’t judge.)

Well, this month, they’ve done it again – inspired me to take a crack at their article premise in a different way. Whereas they did an article entitled, “10 Reasons He’ll Lose Your Number,” we’ll be focusing on reasons women become disinterested.

Cosmo asked Paul Walker to enlighten the masses with gems like this:

PLANNING EVERYTHING: “When a girl tries to schedule every detail, it says to me that she has no sense of adventure.”

DRESSING QUESTIONABLY: “I can’t stand furry boots and Apple Bottom jeans. I don’t know why.”

Let’s remix that, shall we.

1: Not tipping or begrudgingly tipping the waiter/waitress
Listen, we all know it’s a recession but if you’re bragging about not leaving a tip for the waiter on the first date, that’s just not cool. And don’t think I can’t tell that you didn’t tip because I’m not looking at the bill – everyone knows what it means when you put a strike through the tip line on the check.

2: Not listening
I was talking to one guy on the phone about what we would do for the first date and explicitly told him that I don’t like to go see movies on a first date because it doesn’t give you a chance to get to know the person. No hints. I said it just like that. Not 5 minutes later, he asks what movie I’d like to see on our first date. I never spoke to him again.

3. Playing too many games
I know dating is all about gamesmanship, but if you’re still waiting 2 to 3 days to call a woman after you get her number and you’re 30 – Houston, we have a problem.

4. Not being creative
There’s nothing wrong with dinner and drinks for a date, but should the first THREE dates be that? I don’t think so, especially not in spring or summertime. There are way too many options (free options!) available. This just screams, ‘I’m not putting any real effort into this.’ I mean, c’mon – impress me 🙂 As Sean of Beverly Hills Fabulous would ask, ‘I’m worth it, right?’

5. Not making me laugh
I love an intellectual man who can stimulate my mind, someone I know could totally kick my arse in Scrabble, and who wouldn’t blink twice at my book collection in my living room… but ermmmm that doesn’t mean anything if you’re a snore. Paul Walker mentioned FORGETTING TO LAUGH as his second deal breaker; well I’m listing not inspiring laughter as my fifth.

Any other reasons you all can think of for why you wouldn’t call him back? And fellas, what are some of your early dating deal breakers?





What Happens if We Like Rival Teams?

10 02 2011

In light of the Super Bowl just passing and for many, the part of the NBA season that gets interesting starting up, I’d like to talk about a unique problem for people who like sports. Scratch that, this isn’t for the people that like sports… it’s for the die hard fans who will cut you if you try to talk smack about their teams.

I’m probably pretty close to the latter of those descriptions. Just over the Christmas holiday, in fact, C Murder tried to send me a lil jokey joke BBM about the Miami Heat playing the Lakers. I don’t recall exactly what I said to her, but suffice it to say – she remembered that I don’t joke around when it comes to the Lake Show.

My Facebook quote after the Falcons lost in the Playoffs…

“Dear ATL fans (except Mandy Pants): How does it feel to hold the Lombardi Trophy? OHhhhh, that’s right. You wouldn’t know. Here’s a tip: don’t talk shit until you’ve been where we’ve been. Signed, 2010 Superbowl Champs #NewOrleansSaints

… should tell you how I feel about the Saints as well.

Usually, this is all fun and good times (kinda)… But there are occasions when a guy I’m dating is just as vehemently a fan of my team’s rival team as I am about mine. For those politicos, it’s almost akin to dating a Republican if you work for Moveon.org – you’re going to have some issues. So what do you do?

You could place little cutesy bets on the games, I suppose… But truthfully, had I been dating a Celtics fan as rabid as Bill Simmons when the Lakers won the NBA Championship last year or when they lost to the Celts last week, I’m not sure a cutesy bet would have stopped any venom spewing from our mouths.

Here are a few things I think could work instead… they’re not fool proof, mind you… But what in dating really is.

No personal attacks

Okay, so I went for the gut of Falcon fans when they lost… But it was only in response to the personal attacks on Saints fans by Falcon fans and players (!) alike. But notice, even when I went for the gut, I excluded one of my close friends from the attack. She appreciated the consolation and I’m sure any guy or girl dating you would appreciate the same.

No contact right after the game

Just like players are extremely emotional right after a loss, but go back to a sane mind a couple hours later, die hard fans have the same reaction. I would never call/text/email/BBM/facebook CCB right after a Duke loss to taunt her. That might end our friendship on the spot… So it’s probably best to let the person you’re dating have some space before hitting them up. In fact, even when you do finally hit them up, I wouldn’t bring up the loss until they do… I’m just trying to save relationships here.

Make small compromises

I have a friend who loves University of Florida football. I love LSU football. We always clash when the season starts, but one year for Christmas, I got him some UF paraphernalia. Me! I couldn’t believe I was even touching the crap, let alone buying it, and for him! But I did… and you know what? We still battle over our teams, (especially since his keep losing to mine), but the fact that I got that for him showed that the battles are not personal; they’re strictly business.

Anyway, to all my fellow die hards out there – has this ever happened to you? And if so, how did you make the relationship work?