Say Yes to the Kiss

14 08 2014

Clearly y’all know I like to kiss. Well, actually, that’s an understatement. I looove kissing. But have we ever talked about all the different types of kissing between partners or potential partners on here?? I think not!

Well, never fear — the wait is no longer.

One thing to note about kissing is that the level of intimacy or passion within each kiss is completely dependent on the kissers. For example, a single peck can be just as intimate as playing tongue hockey if it’s with the right person, kind of like how holding someone’s hand can send chills down your spine if it’s someone you’re really into. And speaking of the peck, let’s start there.

1. The Single Peck: This can come in many forms — the peck on the cheek, the one in the crease of the cheek and the mouth, straight on the lips, etc… But the key about the single peck is that it typically doesn’t last longer than about 3 seconds. And that’s in cases when someone decides to lay a lingering peck on you, which, uhhhh is super sexy by the way. (Or at least I feel sexy when I do it haha.). But even with the shortest, simplest version of the kiss, there can be such variation of intent. You may find yourself giving a relationship peck to your partner if y’all have been together for a while or it could be a teasing peck between two would-be lovers.

It can mean goodbye or hello, stay or leave. It can be really soft, with the lips barely touching their counterpart (cheek, crease, other lips, etc…) or it can be intense and hard and signify anguish and pain. Either way, I think when most people mention kissing, they tend to overlook the single peck in their minds. However, the simplest version of the kiss shouldn’t be under-estimated. It’s got a lot going on in its favor.

2. The Multiple Peck Kiss: Like its cousin, this kiss is short in nature, but with its succession of kisses included in the definition, it can also last for quite some time. You see this kiss happen when someone plants short, sweet kisses on his/her partner’s face or you get kisses on the back of your neck. This kiss can also be used to go up or down a person’s body, so obviously it’s a pretty intimate one.

3. The Forehead Kiss: Ohhhh the forehead kiss… so controversial you are! I’ve found that this kiss either has one of two meanings when it happens. Either a) I really care about you/love you, etc… and want to protect you, or b) I really care about you/love you, etc… as my friend. There’s really no in between.

4. The French Kiss without Tongue: (not to be mistaken for the French double peck on the cheek kiss) This kiss is one of passion and fire. It can be a part of a make-out session, but even alone, it is able to signify the very clear intent that “at some point, I would like to rip those clothes off of you.” That’s some powerful stuff. Also, usually, when you see people get wowed or swept off their feet by a kiss, it tends to be in this category. That’s no mistake.

5. The French Kiss with Tongue: Oh tongue hockey faithful… this kiss is 9 times out of 10 leading to clothes coming off or being pushed aside. It’s very rarely a stand alone kiss, but also I realized recently, I’ve also very rarely used this kiss post my early twenties. I could be alone in this, but I think I’m probably not.

So what’s your favorite kiss? Did I miss it? I think I have a tie between the single peck and the french kiss without tongue, but really I’m likely to swoon from either one with the right guy.


Right Before That First Kiss…

16 10 2013
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“Kissing you is all that I’ve been thinking of. Kissing you is good, good.” — Kissing You, Total

This post may require some of you to think back pretty far, but I want you to try to remember the days before you kissed the last person to catch your entire attention. For my readers who are in long term relationships/marriages — give yourself a little extra time.

Okay. Got it? Do you remember now? Can you picture his/her face as you stared longingly at those untouched lips — waiting for the moment when you two would finally breathe into each other? When all you could think about was kissing those same lips that seemed to stay on your mind all. the. time?

I never really appreciated that time until recently, but I’ve come to believe that as much fun as the time is after you two finally kiss (and yes, it’s very very fun), nothing is ever quite like that time before. That sense of anticipation, building up, enticing you but still in a way that has just a little bit of innocence involved in it… man… that’s a great ass time!

Maybe the beauty of waiting is something the older generations understood better than we do. After all, the idea of kissing on a first date to an older woman is typically equivalent to the idea of having sex on a first date — these are just things you don’t do! And while I’m not at all advocating any specific waiting time on kissing or sex, I am saying that I recently tried waited to engage in a bit of kissing with a guy, and when it finally happened, it was so much more leg melting than it was with the guy from earlier this summer who I kissed the first night we met.

Actually, the guy I waited on won that “competition” by a landslide — it wasn’t even fair! Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the first night guy’s kisses, but the one where we waited, where I had a chance to think about kissing him before we actually did so… well that one may or may not have produced a Kerry Washington lip quiver. And flashbacks. And me singing Total while running on the elliptical a few days later lol.

What about you all? Do you find when there’s some anticipation built up before you and your guy or girl kiss, it’s better? Or is anticipation one of those often talked about, but not really all that important, factors?

Tips for My Future Husband – #12

21 06 2013
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Plant “mind blowing, toe curling, forget whoever else is around us” kisses on me all the time.

I like kissing.

Like, really, really like kissing.

I dream about kissing.

If I really like a guy, I typically have to stop myself from staring at his lips because all I can think about is kissing him.

Clearly… it’s my thing.

And for me, it doesn’t have to be the precursor to other activities, either. As far as I’m concerned, there are definitely times when kissing can stand all on its glorious own. Granted, it has to be the right kind of kiss matched with a seriously strong connection between two people. But really, if you can make someone whimper just by kissing him or her… it pretty much says everything and anything you need to know about the connection you have with that person.

And I definitely want that type of connection with future hubby. I want us to kiss like how people kiss when they first have the chance to touch that person’s lips they’ve been desiring for a minute.

Do you remember how it felt to first kiss the last person you kissed? If it was amazing (like I tend to believe most of mine are), I’m sure you can remember every detail. Things like… how it came to happen. What it felt like when his or her lips touched yours. Did he/she grab you anywhere while kissing you – run her fingers over your head or run his hands down your body? Was it electric and thrilling – something you hoped would never end?

To me, that’s a feeling that can’t be duplicated with other acts. That brush of the lips and passion exuding between two people… something innocent enough to only garner PG ratings in movies and TV, but also so animalistic because of the desires it conjures up.

The right kiss has the potential to drive someone wild and make them want to spend all day melding their face with someone else’s. The right kiss has the power to make you forget anyone else is around and maybe even sigh when that person’s lips take a break from yours. Hell, the right kiss from the right guy might make some folks start thinking about their futures!

If you can remember all of that for your last person, then you can understand why I enjoy kissing so much. And why future hubby should probably not only be just as much of a kissing fan as I am, but also be someone who knows the power in his kiss and gets that his future wife wants to be wowed by her husband (and his lips) on a regular basis.

The Health Benefits to Smooching

28 11 2012

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Now that Thanksgiving is officially over, it can only mean one thing – yep, it’s the most wonderful time of the year. And with the Season of Christmas in the air comes the thoughts of many things: cherishing family and friends, celebrating the birth of Christ (if you’re Christian), taking pictures with Santa Claus in the mall, giving and receiving gifts, and of course – kissing.

So break out the mistletoe and get ready for some smooching, because according the Grio and several recent studies, there’s more to kissing than just butterflies and thoughts of licking folks’ teeth.

For one, apparently kissing reduces stress. To wit:

Kissing helps to reduce cortisol, known as the “stress hormone,” produced by the adrenal gland. Some levels of cortisol in the body are good because it helps to regulate sugar levels and keep the immune system calm. But, too much of it can wreak havoc on the body, increasing blood pressure, body weight and depression. That’s where kissing comes in…

Well, what do you know? Looks like maybe we should all be kissing more often, and then we wouldn’t need so many expensive trips to the spa. I could get behind this plan.

But, it gets better. They also point out that not only does kissing reduce stress, but it is also linked to lower levels of allergy symptoms, can help reduce tooth decay, can help keep frow lines in check, and best of all – can burn calories! What?! Who knew kissing was so great? I mean, you know, besides being just great because it feels good.

Honestly, I don’t know about you, but this is great news for me. For one, it tells me that my mind is brilliant because clearly it wants me to get all these benefits, and that’s why it constantly has me staring at men’s lips on a daily basis. (What??? I’m not alone, right?) Two: since I’m one of those people that can actually just kiss for long periods of time without it being a precursor to anything (because I actually love the act itself), I’m going to get all kinds of fringe benefits when I get in my next relationship. And heck, Future Mr. D-Magic might have to watch it, y’all… cuz his lips will be mine lol.

Lastly, this gives me all kinds of incentive to actually use my mistletoe this year. A girl’s gotta be healthy, right? I mean, I’m getting closer to 30. Its important that I treat my body right. Now, if I could just get Darren Sharper to walk from my kitchen to the dining room (where my mistletoe is located), I’d be all set!

Anyway, what do you all think? Do all these health reasons for kissing sway you one way or the other? Or are you like me, in that it just gives you more excuses to pucker up?

To Smooch or Not to Smooch

18 02 2009

Have you ever been in a situation or known a guy who said he didn’t like to kiss? I’ve had a couple guy friends profess to me that they only kiss girlfriends, not women they simply have sex with. Why would someone view kissing as a more intimate expression than sex? Well… get ready for the answer… According to a recent yahoo article, a new study is showing that scientifically, men process bonding with kissing more than women do.

Interesting, right?

82746513But if it’s true… and the people doing the study admit to more research being needed, it would explain comments like those we’ve become accustomed to from men. What’s funny is that this idea isn’t anything new. I remember the first time I ever heard about guys being selective about who they kiss. It was in either 7th or 8th grade and also, coincidentally, coincided with me finding out why Lil Kim had a rumor she needed to get her stomach pumped. I was horrified… and so confused! All I knew was that my guy friends kept saying they’d have sex with Lil Kim any day, but they’d never kiss her! EVER!

Now, clearly the reasons for their selective kissing in that instance are a little different than the ones brought out in this study, but it was the first time I’d even heard of people thinking something as simple as kissing meant…. more. Then, I grew older and hung out with more guys and the sentiment kept coming up in conversation. Many of them agreed that “they just weren’t going to go around kissing just any girl.” Well, how could that be, I wondered? These were the same guys who had no problem having sex with the same girls weeks, sometimes days after each other (hey, what can I say? I hung out with male whores… they kept me, or attempted to keep me from dating their kind lol) and yet, they were sb10069475m-005concerned about a little kiss?!?!?!

A kiss? We’re talking about a kiss here!? A kiss… not sex, but a kiss?!?! (shoutout to AI real quick!) The same thing that people did in junior high school when they were playing spin the bottle or hide and go get it? A kiss… the guys were selective about who they kissed, but not who they slid their members into. It boggled my mind. Seriously.

Until one of my guy friends finally broke it down for me… for those guys who were selective, it was because to them, kissing was more intimate, he said. Kissing intimated a bond with that person; that there was more than just a physical connection with that person. And while kissing for me was innocent and simple, for them, it signified relationship. Okay, I thought… well there are things in life that I could equate that to. I, for one, think that cuddling is extremely intimate. I wont do it with just anyone and for the times that I’ve been put in a situation where the guy wanted to cuddle and I didn’t, it was really really awkward. All I kept thinking was, “hey buddy! we’re not there yet! you can’t just let ANYONE hold you! now, please… get off me! lol”

Okay, that may be a slight dramatization… welllll, actually it’s not, I really am that passionate about cuddling. But realizing that guys could legitimately feel the same way about kissing still seemed rather odd to me… until I saw the article. And it showed how most guys dont even 56406892realize that they equate kissing with bonding, they just do… and it may be why they naturally run away from it if they’re not feeling you in more than a physical way. It’s instinct for them.

Which I guess makes it slightly less insulting if you’re a woman who’s ever gone in to kiss a guy and had him turn his face, only to start kissing you elsewhere…. I guess it just shows you where you stand.