Thirty Thoughts on Turning 30

24 05 2013
Photo Credit: soulmatereading.com

Photo Credit: soulmatereading.com

“I’m a grown woman. I can do whatever I want. I can be bad if I want. I can do wrong if I want. I can live fast if I want. I can go slow all night long. I’m a grown woman.” ~ Beyonce’, Grown Woman

So I know I promised you all a new post would be back up on Wednesday, but that was before I crashed on my couch upon returning to the District from my Chicago visit. I just didn’t have it in me guys. Will you forgive me?

On the bright side – we’re back!! And since I’m now officially a part of the 30 club, I (of course) have some thoughts. Here are my top 30 – some of these are in quote form, because you know that’s how I roll – and all are specific to me, but can be used for others (possibly):

1. I didn’t have the freak-out moment I thought I would have at midnight. I still haven’t actually. But that’s also probably because I’ve been preparing myself for this for a year now so that there would be no bombarding of strange emotions.

2. I still don’t like the idea of being blindsided by emotions, as evidenced by this tweet:

3. I also still lie about having a boyfriend when unattractive, but really nice guys ask me out on dates.

4. I’ve learned that, clearly, some things just don’t change.

5. Strangely, I don’t feel the pressure I felt on my 29th birthday to get everything done now. Don’t get me wrong – I still want “everything,” as some of my friends might say… but I’m learning to trust the process as well as the promise. And it’s so freeing to my soul.

6. This quote from Nicki Minaj (yes, her!) pretty much gives me so much life right now — “If you realize that you are the only you on this planet and no one can do what you do – you’re free to make mistakes. You don’t have to compare yourself to other girls; [you] just be the best you that you can be, love yourself, forgive and forget, and enjoy your life.” It’s kinda my 30 year mantra.

7. My confidence level is on ten right now – mostly because I think I’m getting to the point where I’m really learning who I am, and I’m so good with this woman. There was a time when I wasn’t happy about who I saw in the mirror; I wasn’t confident in my abilities; I didn’t know what I brought into this world and in my relationships. That hasn’t been the case for some time now.

8. The older I get, the more I realize just how important my friendships are in my life. The women and men who have chosen to become like family members for me continue to keep me grounded and inspire me in so many ways, but they also show me so much love. I am forever indebted to them.

9. I’m not ready to stop having fun and doing slightly ain’t ish things just because I’m 30. As a good friend of mine said this weekend, “this is the time for us to live it up as much as possible and make as many (non-detrimental) mistakes as possible,” because, really, no one wants to be that person when they’re 40 with a husband and kids.

10. At the same time, though – I hope that I do less stupid ish now than I did at 23.

11. I am actually happy where I am in my career. That doesn’t mean I’m content, but I’m also not frustrated like I’ve been in the past. I like what I’m doing, and I see where it can go from here.

12. On a related note, I’m starting to understand that you can be happy even when you’re not content on staying exactly where you are.

13. So about those 30 year-old eggs? There’s seriously no cheaper way to freeze them? Because $15,000 per egg is kind of a lot of money to spend just because I’m worried that by the time I’m ready to be somebody’s momma, it’ll be too late.

14. I have so much anticipation for the next 10 years of my life. It’s a strange feeling because I didn’t think this way when I was turning 20. But I just see so much happening in my thirties, and I can’t wait to experience it.

15. You know how people always ask what you would tell your younger self if you could talk to her/him now? I’ve figured it out: “Don’t fret the small stuff. They won’t matter that much to you later on, and worrying yourself crazy won’t change the outcome.”

16. Grown Woman by Beyonce’ is the perfect song to dance in the shower to while drinking your wine or liquor of choice. Trust me on this.

17. I’m no more ready for that great love than I was on May 16, 2013. I want to eventually find it with the right man. I’m thrilled by the idea of it. I believe that God will supply me with it. But it also still kinda scares the crap out of me.

18. I am no longer afraid to admit the things that scare me.

19. But I still HATE showing my thug beech baby tears to anyone.

20. I’m learning to take time for myself. I’m probably still going to plan out my activities – both fun and work – when I’m especially busy, but I’m getting much better at at least scheduling down time for myself. I think it’s made me happier.

21. My birthday presents to myself this year were new business cards and a pair of Darby shoes from J Crew. I like what that symbolizes in my life (and I didn’t even do it on purpose): it’s the perfect mixture of business and pleasure – kinda what I like my life to be.

22. “I never completely understand a character until I know what kind of shoes she wears.” ~ Kerry Washington. I’ve realized that’s pretty much how I approach a lot of my storytelling when I write. It’s also how I approach my outfit choices when I stand in my closet. This is no coincidence.

23. One thought I had immediately at the stroke of midnight on the 17th was – “wow, I’m here… in this moment, and nothing else really matters more than that.” Other things obviously matter, but I’d like to enjoy more moments like that – experience them for what they are, not what they will or can be.

24. That includes my dating life.

25. When I think of my goals for the future (those next 10 years in particular), I am all at once thrilled, nervous, excited, scared, anxious, calm, and expectant. It’s an interesting space to be in, and I feel like those feelings only seem to intensify as I get older.

26. Five years ago I stopped looking for other people to make me happy. Crazy thing is, that’s when I started enjoying the people in my life so much more. Now, I’m happy with me, but I’m also so glad I have them too.

27. Even on my birthday this year, with sooo much going right, there were some things that went slighty wrong. There were some missed calls I wish I’d taken, some people whose voices I really wanted to hear – but I only got to text, my Harold’s mild sauce wasted on our way back to Pimp C’s place, heck – even one of my toe-nails smudged after the pedicures we got. But that’s not at all what I think about or will remember when I think about my 30th or my trip to Chicago. I’ll remember the great memories, the laughter, the surprise champagne and cupcakes at the nail shop, the dancing in the club, the message from my sweet goddaughter and her mommy, the different variations of the happy birthday song I received over the phone, the race to call me first between my mom and my baby sister, my dad almost crying on the phone, and the surprise birthday present I received when I got out the shower at 12:05am. What I mean to say is I’ll remember all the good times, and that’s how I plan to live life in general – focusing on the good. If I regret anything in life, it’s that I didn’t get to that point sooner.

28. I love and own my quirks like never before, stuff like speaking and writing in looooong sentences lol

29. My travel plans for this year are stupid, good! I have a trip planned for almost every month starting in May — and I can’t wait!

30. By the time my parents were 30, my dad was the father of 3 and my mom was the mother of 2. While I can’t say the same, they also can’t say they’d done some of the things I’ve done so far by 30 either. What does that mean for me? It helps remind me what MandyPants always says: “Your blessing is your blessing. You can’t take someone else’s and even if you could, it wouldn’t fit you and you wouldn’t want it.”

So those are my top 30 thoughts about turning 30. If you actually got through all of those, you deserve a cookie! But, I know some of you have reached this milestone already – so I’d love to see what one or 2 thoughts you’d like to share as well.

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5 responses

24 05 2013
erika

Great post! I love that you have a mantra for your 30th year. I have a 30th year theme song, it’s “Express Yourself” by Labrynth. It’s all about being who you are and owning it. And, when I’m not listening to it (which is all the damn time) I’m totally playing it in my head.

“Being myself is something I do well/So whatever you do/Do it good/Express yourself!/It’s not what you look like when you’re doing what you do/Express yourself!”

24 05 2013
dbaham

Thanks doll!! And your theme song sounds excellent! I see us at 30… I *points fingers from eyes to you and back to eyes* see… us. LOL

24 05 2013
bpcharles

I feel you the most on #6-8, 23, 26, 28, 30! Great post and I am glad to hear you had a great birthday! I am right there behind you and your list def makes me realize that turning 30 is just the beginning!

26 05 2013
dbaham

YAY! I’m glad you could relate to some of them :)… and thanks! When is your birthday??

22 05 2014
Things I’d Rather My Guy Do for My Birthday than Buy Me Jewelry | Choices, Voices, and Sole

[…] in case you weren’t aware, I’m real big on birthdays. I celebrate mine like it’s a holiday. And I make a point to celebrate the birthday of my loved ones like it’s a holiday as […]

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