Why I Don’t Include New Guys into My Birthday Festivities

15 05 2014
Me at one of my 20+ birthday celebrations with friends...

Me at one of my 20+ birthday celebrations with friends…

My 31st birthday is in a few days, and while that is exciting and thrilling, it also brings up a question I’ve had to deal with anytime I’m single-but-dating in May. Namely, do I want to incorporate dude into my birthday plans with my friends?

Usually, especially if it’s relatively new, my answer is no. I’m just not a fan of introducing someone into my large group of compadres before I’ve even had a chance to vet him. Now, we can still do something if he wants, but I tend to prefer small and separate with a new guy.

For example, a couple years ago, I was just starting to date a guy in late April, and so we went out on a date, but I didn’t invite him to the party I was having at Great Falls, Va that weekend. Not every guy is as understanding about that arrangement though — and really, he wasn’t all that thrilled either. He just didn’t have the clout to say something about it.

This year, things are a bit different. I have one guy in my life who I’ve been dating for awhile now (SGWMMS), and then a couple others who I very recently met. Said guy is out of town, so that’s not a factor. But the other two? Oh they are here… and while one of them seems to understand the unstated rule, the other has been trying to slide his way into the festivities on the slick tip.

I want to tell him, “Nah bruh — we not there yet. Slow your roll!” But that would be rude, so I end up saying things like, “Oh, well I have friends coming in town [true] and we have set plans [eh, kinda true — at least Saturday night], and those don’t really involve people we don’t all know [absolutely not true at all].”

Am I wrong here in thinking spending time with my closest friends should be something reserved for someone I’ve gone on more than one date with?

Full disclosure, some of my friends would tell you that the other 2 guys are not invited because they’re not SGWMMS, but that’s just not true. I’ve never been that person that likes mixing company before I have a feel for the person myself.

Shoot, my mom just made a joke to me the other day about how my youngest sister is almost as bad as I am about holding information on guys close to the chest until I’m ready. “Actually, scratch that,” she said. “No one’s as bad as you. It’s like pulling teeth to get you to talk about someone you’re dating, much less to have us actually meet him.”

“Mom, you know how I feel about that,” I reminded her. “When you need to know about dude, that’s when you’ll know — and not a minute sooner.”

Same goes for my birthday. When you’re at the point where you can hang with my friends, you will. And not a minute sooner. That’s just my birthday philosophy.

What about you all? Do you have restrictions on introducing new folks into your birthday plans?

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2 responses

15 05 2014
enjoli

I agree with u. Except if dude is being so rude to keep trying to horn his way in on ur plans when I’m sure you’ve said NO in a number.of not so rude ways then bump that. Tell let it is.

15 05 2014
dbaham

Hahahahaha!! I think he finally got the hint yesterday, but I was on the verge of telling it like it t.i.s. LOL

And thanks for commenting 🙂

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