Let’s be real about the neighbors…

If you haven’t heard by now, Trey Songz recently announced that his new single would be “Neighbors Know My Name,” and while I certainly enjoy the tune on his album, I’m a bit concerned that dudes are now going to start trying to use lines from the song to holla at women. Can’t you see it now? You’re walking down the street – and a guy hits you with, ” say ma! your body’s a problem/they call me the problem solver!” OR “when I’m bangin on your body, they’ll be bangin on my wall!”

You may be thinking that I’m paranoid or I’m exaggerating. But you couldn’t be further from wrong. Don’t you remember when Ginuine came out with In Those Jeans??? I do. Almost every bum under the sun was talking about, guuuuuurl is there any room for me – in those jeans? I even had one guy try to sing it to me.

He couldn’t sing.

Then, when Chingy came out with Right Thurr, there were tons of guys talking about, “lil mama, you a quarterpiece, you far from a dime.” Heck, guys already lost their damn minds with Trey’s last two singles…. you can’t tell me that you haven’t heard your fair share of “say girl, you know I invented sex, right?” or “say ahhhh” while in the club.

So I just know… I. just. know. they are going to have a field day with this one. And I think it’s hilarious – because, let’s be real… everyone doesn’t have the goods to make you scream so loud their neighbors hear you. Ask Greg Oden. Okay, that was mean. Ask the stand-in then. Hmmm, that may have been meaner. Well how about ask Ray J. Because even though the world knows that he’s packing, as far as I could tell from his sexual escapades with a certain Kardashian on tape, the man has no stroke. Yeah I said it – he’s all jack rabbit, no swang. And trust me – that won’t have the neighbors knowing your name either.

In fact, truth be told… the distinction is not as common as Trey Songz would make you believe. Do I think he probably has girls screaming his name? uhhhhh yeah, I do (did you see that Invented Sex video?!!? lol)… but do I think most guys enjoy the same perks? No sir, I do not. So this is my PSA to all the men who are thinking of taking Trey’s lyrics and using them as your soundtrack – please back them up with something and don’t have some woman out there thinking she’s going to be screamin’, scratchin’, yellin’ when all you can do is make her wimper.

Thank you kindly.

Signed,

All women of the world

Lines and lies

“Relax… nothing will happen that you don’t want to…”

I’m sure we’ve all heard this before – it’s like the consummate male line. I thought about doing a post about it a little while ago when Jozen mentioned it in his blog, Until I get Married… but I forgot. And then I saw a character on General Hospital use it – and it all came back to me. Ahhhh yes… that line. The same line that Darius used in Love Jones, when everyone (including Nia Long’s character) knew he wanted to wear that arse out.

So what is it about that line and others that when said by the right person, sounds less like a lie than what it really is? Could it be that we actually believe the guy when he says nothing’s going to happen? Nah… I don’t think any of us are that naive… plus, really – the guy is making it pretty clear that it’s not the case that nothing will happen, it’s just that you’ll want it to happen.

And maybe that’s the key right there… by the time you get to that line, both parties pretty much know that they want something to happen. It’s the same thing with, “Don’t try and molest me.” I’ve had a guy say that to me as well, as he’s climbing into my bed saying that we are going to sleep in the bed together and not make out, hook-up, nothing… knowing damn well that he wanted to go on and pin me against the wall (start at 1:35) at any moment. Before I knew it, we were rolling in the (metaphorical) hay – I’m sure with him knowing the end result all along.

Over and over, I’m sure many of us gals can name some of the lines/lies we’ve been fed that we knew were lines/lies when they came out of the guy’s mouth – but we still went along with it. Maybe we’re all suckers for reverse psychology… maybe we like the decision being explicitly placed on us… but for whatever reason, these lines have continued through time and probably will.

What are some that come to your mind? And have you fallen for them?

Ex-pected Expectations

Sidenote: I apologize for the long absense… as I was explaining to a friend the other day, I’ve had a few posts just sitting in my draft box waiting to be completed, but for some reason – my energy hasn’t been there to complete them. wellllll, it’s back for now at least and hopefully, I can make it up to you with some pretty good stories and posts.  Now on to this one…

Late last year, I was talking to a really good friend of mine about ex-boyfriends in general, but also about the difference in the time it takes to get over some rather than others. We both agreed that we had some dodged bullets in our past and some guys that barely make it to the table when discussions of pasts occur, but we both also had that one (at least one) who meant more. So there we were comparing lengths of time, laughing about how some it took mere minutes and some we were sad to say we were still in the process, when she hit me with this gem – “You know, I think you’re not meant to get over every guy you’ve been with. Some folks you get over – and some… you just kinda get through.”

And that stuck with me. I can’t really explain why in great detail, but for some reason it really stuck with me. Now it’s possible she didn’t mean it in this way, but this is how I applied it to my life. That some folks you’re not ever going to be able to say you don’t have some love for them BUT (and here’s the breakthrough part), you don’t have to wait for that moment to be done with them.

I know everyone’s situation isn’t the same, but that was definitely the case for me and one person specifically. For some reason, I always thought that since I wasn’t over him, there had to have been a reason for that – that maybe we were meant to be together in some strange weird way. But NO! That’s not the case at all – and it helped knowing that I wasn’t crazy or foolish because I still had love for him after all this time, because hell, she had someone like that too. The key though, for both of us… was letting go even when the person may still have a place in your heart.

So what do you readers think? Was my friend right? And do you have anyone in your life that this can be applied to? AND How’s your new year going so far?! I missed you guys!!!!

9 in 09 – the Results!

We’ve officially begun the year twenty-ten (Happy New Year and all that jazz!), and you know I realized that I’ve made mention to the 9 in 09 list that CCB and I embarked upon at the end of 2008, but never really explained what my nine in fact were… for shame! ANYway, for those who don’t know – the 9 in 09 grew out of this movie where the main character created 10 things she wanted to do before turning 30. Well, since CCB and I tend to be over-ambitious and wanted to outdo the movie, we chose to make a list of things we wanted to do within a year’s time. Since I saw the movie around September 08, the original ending was September 09… but was then extended to the end of the year 2009 [WHY? Cuz we can… Obama said so.]

So here’s my list and how I’ve done in completing them. You’ll see that some of my 09 were amended from the original list, but I’ll also explain how the amended list was completed or not.

• Lose 65 lbs – uhhhh so far? 20 lbs down before my 2 week break at home in which I’ve probably gained 10 back… what can I say, 65 lbs is a lot!
• Get my 5th tattoo on my hairline – ahaaaaaa! I did better than this! I got 2 tattoos – the one on my hairline and one behind my ear… that makes up for like 10 of those 45 lbs I missed, right? no?
• Go skinny dipping – sure did, in the Caymans! embarrassing story attached and everything! lol
• Date a Brody at least once – not quite. I did have a few opportunities, but none panned out… ah well.
• Finish 2 of my books and be working towards getting at least one published – yep! well I finished one and am now going through that whole trying to find an agent process, and I’m working very hard on the second one lol
• Get my car – hmmmm, not so much… maybe by the summer 2010 though *cross fingers*
• Have an honest conversation with “Jake” about us* – even though this was later changed, as you’ll see when you scroll down, I actually did still complete this. BONUS points for me!
• Approach a guy with the two-finger come hither move** – read below
• Develop a signature move – ha ha aha, this may have been one of the first things I accomplished!

* changed to Purchase a pair of designer shoes – even though it was changed, I completed BOTH! Christian Dior pumps, anyone?

** Changed to “Approach four guys with the one-finger come hither move” – I actually did finish this, and had a great story for the blog to boot!

So that’s how my year of ’09 pretty much panned out, in a nut shell. My goals for 2010 are not as tangible and probably won’t get listed on the blog, but I’m hoping for sucess in those as well. How did your goals for ’09 work out?