Ex-pected Expectations

25 01 2010

Sidenote: I apologize for the long absense… as I was explaining to a friend the other day, I’ve had a few posts just sitting in my draft box waiting to be completed, but for some reason – my energy hasn’t been there to complete them. wellllll, it’s back for now at least and hopefully, I can make it up to you with some pretty good stories and posts.  Now on to this one…

Late last year, I was talking to a really good friend of mine about ex-boyfriends in general, but also about the difference in the time it takes to get over some rather than others. We both agreed that we had some dodged bullets in our past and some guys that barely make it to the table when discussions of pasts occur, but we both also had that one (at least one) who meant more. So there we were comparing lengths of time, laughing about how some it took mere minutes and some we were sad to say we were still in the process, when she hit me with this gem – “You know, I think you’re not meant to get over every guy you’ve been with. Some folks you get over – and some… you just kinda get through.”

And that stuck with me. I can’t really explain why in great detail, but for some reason it really stuck with me. Now it’s possible she didn’t mean it in this way, but this is how I applied it to my life. That some folks you’re not ever going to be able to say you don’t have some love for them BUT (and here’s the breakthrough part), you don’t have to wait for that moment to be done with them.

I know everyone’s situation isn’t the same, but that was definitely the case for me and one person specifically. For some reason, I always thought that since I wasn’t over him, there had to have been a reason for that – that maybe we were meant to be together in some strange weird way. But NO! That’s not the case at all – and it helped knowing that I wasn’t crazy or foolish because I still had love for him after all this time, because hell, she had someone like that too. The key though, for both of us… was letting go even when the person may still have a place in your heart.

So what do you readers think? Was my friend right? And do you have anyone in your life that this can be applied to? AND How’s your new year going so far?! I missed you guys!!!!

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2 responses

25 01 2010
countryclubbarbie

Welcome back, kiddo! (Like I should talk – there are definitely some crickets infiltrating the Dreamhouse right now, lol). Anyway – that’s so funny that you had this conversation because I had the very same conversation with someone over dinner the other day! We were talking about the song “Over You” by Daughtry (“the day I thought I’d never get through / I got over you”) and how I wanted more than anything for that to be true about, who else? Voldy. And he goes, (i’m taking some creative liberties with my quote) “well, maybe you aren’t supposed to get over him. You’re supposed to get over the situation and heal from the hurt and understand that you guys won’t be together. But, when you give 6 years of your life to someone, you aren’t supposed to be able to block that out completely.” And I think it’s true. I changed a lot over the course of that relationship. And, it made me the woman I am today. And, whether I like it or not, Voldy had a lot to do with it (good and bad, lol). So, am I over the relationship? Yes. Do I think we’re meant to be together? No. Does he still hold a very special, although small, place in my heart? Yes. And, he probably always will.

I’m still undecided about how I feel about that.

25 01 2010
dbaham

I KNOW!!! We both need to get our acts together lol… (nudge, nudge).

But that’s so crazy that we both had similar conversations! Amazing how we can be sooo *here* and not even know it LOL. But I think you and your friend and my friend are totes right… the idea that you are going to just going to block out something that was significant to you is a bit naive. The key isn’t to block, it’s to grow from… so I’m looking forward to that. 🙂

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