Tuxedos on Fleek!

19 03 2015
Photo: junebugweddings.com

Photo: junebugweddings.com

Being that I’m a woman from the South, I’ve grown up seeing men and women get dressed up for several occasions. New Orleans, especially, is a place that loves to throw a damn ball/gala for any and every reason. But when you’re a kid, you don’t see those experiences from the same eyes as you do when you get older. For me, it was all about feeling grown, getting to dress up in the prettiest gowns, hanging out with my parents, and having a reason to wear my grandmother’s fur coat.

Over the past couple years, however, I’ve had the opportunity to attend my fair share of black tie events as an adult (with two in the past 2 months, actually), and you know what I realized? More than anything else? More than the fact that I still enjoy the feeling of wearing a beautiful gown? More than the time I get to spend with some of my favorite people while they show out in their best outfits? I realized that I just looooove to see a man in a tuxedo! And no shade to anyone else, but I really love seeing a Black man in a tuxedo. (There’s just something about seeing all that fineness combined with brown skin. #sorrynotsorry)

This shouldn’t have come as a surprise to me.

I’ve always thought a man in a suit was attractive. In fact, my friends used to jokingly say that I never dated anyone who didn’t know how to dress well in a suit. They were wrong, obviously, but admittedly, I was always more of a fan of a man who could pull off basketball shorts one day and rock the hell out of a suit on the next.

If I had any doubts of my leanings towards a good suit, though, seeing all those men looking fresh in their tuxedos certainly tempered that. They were doing just a little something extra for your girl at the last few events.

You know how men get when they see a big ol’ fat booty? How they just can’t help the stare that comes with it? They might even start internally singing “My anaconda don’t…” But as hard as they try, sometimes with all their might, that stare is just something they can’t control.

That’s me when a fine brotha walks past with his tuxedo nicely tailored, bow tie sitting right, pants legs hitting the exact right point of the ankle, shoes buffed, and shirt crisp underneath. Whew! I just can’t help it. My legs get weak. I start subconsciously biting my lower lip. My heart begins beating faster, and when I’m not careful, it very well leads to me messing up my red lipstick by the end of the night.

I mean, it is a serious problem!

One that I’m not really inclined to fix, but one that I am now willing to readily admit that I have.

So who’s with me? Does a man in a tuxedo do it for you? And if not, what’s something that’s really kind of normal that lights your loins on fire? Let’s share!


Screw Smizing, Let’s Talk About the Importance of Your Flize

17 03 2015
Photo: Forbes.com

Photo: Forbes.com

Do you know how to flize?

You’re probably thinking, “what the heck is she talking about,” right? And did she just completely make up that word?

Well, first — yes I did lol (I think). But I’m not talking about some crazy scheme or anything… just the age-old practice of flirting with your eyes (which I totally did NOT make up).

It’s not really something that’s talked about very often, but I have come to believe it may be one of the most effective ways for women to flirt with someone (especially if you’re concerned about being approached or wanting people to approach you).

So why is the flize so important?

Well, for one it’s just subtle enough not to come off desperate or skanky, but it also makes it very clear that you want that person in some capacity. And by some capacity, I mean you may have envisioned him/her without clothes on. People talk about the eyes being the windows to the soul, but they’re also just simply the windows to your thoughts. I mean, have you ever seen someone’s eyes when they’re worried or sad — completely different emotion comes through than when they’re happy or excited. Therefore, when you’re flizing, believe me, the context is clear.

For two, it involves you making eye contact with said person. Let’s talk a bit about eye contact here. There was a recent article that came out that talked about the significance of staring into someone’s eyes for four minutes. Now, obviously, you’re not doing that when flizing, but… if you can fall in love in four minutes, surely you can entice some lusting in 15 seconds.

Thirdly, it gives you some leeway away from the whole “just smile” theory that many men promote and many women screw their faces up at. Now, your flize may involve a bit of actually smiling, but one of the truly great things about flizing is that you have the freedom to determine which technique works best for you. If you feel some kind of way about giggling or smiling at a stranger, maybe your flize is one that’s a bit more intense or just lets out a smirk. Or maybe you’re like me and you start off with a flize and subtly let it form into a flirty smile. Or maybe you just come right out the bat with the full on pearly whites along with the flirty eyes. Either way, you’ve got cart blanche to make it your own!

And trust me, once you’ve made it your own, you’ll wonder why you never had it in your repertoire before. Because the thing about a really good flize is that it is completely and utterly irresistible. Or at least I should say it hasn’t let me down yet, and I don’t think it will let you down either.

(Now what you do after you’re approached is a totally different story, but at least you’ll be in the game.)