Can you tell compatibility by music tastes?

2 12 2014

If it’s one thing Twitter is good for, it’s to read some of the dating fodder people come up with. And one that’s always interested me is when people make comments about who they wouldn’t date based on the type of music they like.

You know how those look. It’s something like —

If she can’t recite all the words to every WU song ever, she can’t be #bae.

Or even…

The best way to turn me off is to tell me you like Drake music. #wecanneverevergettogether

(Incidentally, I totally wouldn’t meet the criteria for this fake tweeter.)

But he/she brings up an interesting point. When thinking about deal breakers in dating or relationships, should we consider music tastes? And what does someone’s music tastes tell you about him or her specifically to let you know compatibility would be a concern?

Let’s take me for example. I love all kinds of music, but that’s also because I hail from a musical town. So on any given day, you could find me rocking out to anything from rap to gospel to country to pop to zydeco to jazz to heavy metal and several things in between. Y’all remember when I gushed over the Grammy museum?  My love for music is real.

But… if you asked me to tell you what my favorite form of music is, what I listen to probably 85% of the time, what gives me the goosies or makes me break out crying or inspires me to write blog posts and maybe even mark a song down as a possible for a very distinct future playlist? It’s going to be R&B.

My first cassette tapes and CDs that I purchased as a kid were R&B. I listen to it while writing. I listen to it while on the subway. I listen to it while I’m working it out on the elliptical or treadmill. And you have to know it’s my go to genre if I need to come home and pull out my fake microphone and have a good dance session all alone.

But does that mean I shouldn’t date someone who would prefer to listen to KRS One and Rakim over Luther and Patti? Does that mean I’d need to throw out my Young Money CD collection (Drake and Wayne have made a LOT of music) if I want to date a guy who’s not into mainstream music? IDK. There’s something about that logic that seems a bit off.

I get where it comes from though. It’s great when you can enjoy something you love with your partner, and a lot of us love our music. We get invested in it, and the artists we like (hello Aaliyah movie backlash). I’m not exempt from this either. I’m in heaven when a dude likes the kind of music I like as much as I do. But I don’t know if I’m ex-ing him out the game immediately just because he’s not trying to go see the Tupac hologram in concert with me.

And while I’m not super big on the whole opposites attract thing, I also think there may be something to be said about dating someone who can expand your horizons. Or at least someone who can say, “boo I know you don’t normally like pop music, but watch what I can do to this Rihanna song and trust me, you’ll see there’s some merit to the art.”

What do you all think? Can compatibility be determined through music likes and dislikes?

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