What’s Hugs Got to Do with It

18 11 2014


Not sure if you all remember, but a couple years ago, I started embracing (pun intended) the beauty of hugs.

I decided to let go of my fears of emotions and enjoy the feelings you get when hugging or letting someone hug you. And I have to say, it really has made a big difference in my life. For one, I find that I’m less bitter and cynical about relationships. For two, I’ve become more comfortable with being me and expressing whatever emotions I have for a person.

Now, granted, I’m not saying all of that happened just because I came around on hugs, but I don’t think it’s a coincidence they have coincided with each other either. As Mandy Pants said back in the day, “humans need to be touched.” And I was essentially missing out on basic human interaction that was needed to survive by limiting this type of interaction.

Since then, however, I’ve clearly come around. I mean, I really believe in the power of hugs now y’all. Annnnnnnd physical touch became one of my top love languages! Who would have thought??

But here’s the thing. Once I got past the power and beauty of hugs, then I was able to just get into the pure awesomeness of them. Especially when done with boo thangs and potential boo thangs.

I thought about this other day when I came up on an old article about the 7 cute hugs a guy can give you.

Let me just say off top, I’m a fan of all of the ones they mentioned. The catch, the spin, the lift, the head rest etc… but my favorite one? The kind of hug I remember just walking down the street later? Oh that’s the combination of the squeeze (which I call the bear hug) and the long one.

Listen. That combo effect? It’ll melt even the stoniest of hearts and leave tingles all up and down your spine.

Okay let me stop telling on myself.

All I’m trying to say is that as a woman dating someone who doesn’t live in her city, sometimes the highlight of my time with sgwmms is the 1 minute hug we do where we just stand there squeezing each other tight. Sometimes that hug then turns into fits of laughter as I try fail to exert my strength on him. And sometimes… it’s… just… heaven.

Plain and simple.

Either way, though, it’s absolutely something I realize I was missing out on for all those years. And I’m so glad I eventually learned the errors of my ways.

But what about you all? Do you have a favorite hug between you and your guy (future, past or present)? Have you tried all of the ones they mentioned in the article? If not, do you have one that piqued your interest?




6 responses

27 11 2014

Aww that’s so sweet. I think I could understand how you feel with being in a long distance relationship. How do you guys keep the relationship going and exciting with the distance? Face time, skype, text, hand written letters, etc?

My name is Jane and I 100% aware that I have a problem with intimacy lol. It may have been the failure of possible relationship. When taking the Love Language test years ago I scored a ZERO in Physical Touch. Yup, you read that correctly. I just don’t like being touched. I’ve been like that since I was a kid.

With that said, my favorite hug is the “church hug” lol. You know the side hug and you pat them with four fingers on the arm and detach. Bingo! That’s me. I’m famous for dodging the hugs making for an awkward moment on their part. But I do explain to them I’m not a hand holder nor one that likes to hug after the 2nd attempt that isn’t a “church hug”.

I score high in Quality Time because to me time is something you can’t get back and someone sees the value in you to set everything aside to be with you. So we could spend time but I don’t want him to be all under me or vice versa. Honey, I acknowledge your presence I don’t need you in the chair with me lol.

1 12 2014

You know what? We honestly aren’t anyone’s experts on mastering the long distance thing lol. Like at all. We text, email, talk on the phone… and basically just try to see each other as much as possible. But then the exhaustion of constantly scheduling your life comes into play (so it’s a never ending circle lolol). I know people who talk more than we do. Folks who skype/Facetime all the time, etc… That doesn’t work for us, so we just try to do what works for us and check in every few months or so to see how that’s going for us both in terms of fulfilling our dating needs.

oh wow! A ZERO, girl! A zero?!?! I thought I was bad back in the day on the danged test! LOL… and I am too done with you saying your favorite hug is the church hug. Hahahahahaha. I hate the church hug. Even before I got into liking hugs, I hated the church hug, because I always felt like I’d rather you not hug me than give me some half-assed hug LMAO! But hey…. I know all too well that you can’t make someone like hugs, so do you Jane. Just don’t try to give me a church hug if we ever bump into each other in life hahaha

Quality Time is actually my second highest score on the test now, so I COMPLETELY agree with you about its value. And while I don’t always need him in the chair with me… now, more often than not, I want him in the chair with me. *hides face* *runs screaming because of how corny that sounded* LOL

2 12 2014

Wait! I read it as you guys only checked in every few months to talk lol. I immediately got bug eyed and then realized you meant in the context of making sure everything was going well. Long day at work.

Yes, a zero. I laugh even typing it. What’s worse is that everyone knows it without me saying it. I run away from hugs. I run away from handshakes too. I can’t stand when the pastor says shake two or three peoples hands. I instantly start acting like i’m picking up something off the floor or searching my purse lol. I was born this way. Don’t judge me. And yes I would totally church hug you on purpose. I really think we’re more standoffish in the Midwest. Okay…maybe it’s just me.

Yes, please hide under that chair you want him in with you lol.

3 12 2014

HA! Ohhh noooooo, that would be… hell, I don’t know what that would be! LOL. Worse than a church hug, maybe?? Worse than you purposefully church hugging me? Probably not lol.

You know what? My pastor does that thing where he wants you to turn to your neighbor and such too, and I’ve never been a fan either lol. So no judgment. Well a little judgment about that zero, but just a tiny bit lol. I don’t remember what my score was on physical touch a few years ago, but it probably wasn’t that much higher lololol

No no no, not giving you the Midwest thing. Some of my favorite people are from Chicago and Detroit, and they’re all touchy/feely!

Awwwww mannnnnnn!!!! LOL I thought we were in a no judging zone! hahaha

7 12 2014

FYI – My pastor pulled the “Shake two or three people hand” last night and instantly I hit the floor again. I couldn’t help but laugh because I had just wrote it here.

Believe me it’s because you know the Chicago people. We’re not usually like that here, or maybe again it’s me lol.

Oh yeah, no judging zone. You should talk about holiday gift ideas for men. That’s usually hard to do when it’s the first year you’re together and on a budget!

9 12 2014

hahahahahahahahahahahaha I literally laughed out loud at the visual of you hitting the floor to avoid shaking hands! LMAO! That is a mess!

LMAO! You think it’s just the Chicago people?? The Detrioters are just as touchy feely, I think. Although, I guess many of them grew to be that way with me. They didn’t necessarily start off like that hahaha

Thank you!! Hmmmm, I may have actually talked about that a while ago. I’ll check and see and post again if I did. If not, definitely look out for that in the near future!

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