From Vacation Passes to Pregnancy Ones?

23 10 2014

First there was the vacation pass — you know, the leeway some couples give each other to do as they please on vacation with friends without repercussions.

Then there was the celebrity pass — the game couples play where they list the 1 or 2 celebrities the significant other could get with without any repercussions.

And now there’s… the pregnancy pass?? The allowance some women give their husbands to have sex with other women while they are pregnant (without repercussions to the relationship).

What???

Does anyone find this as disturbing as I do?

Now I’m not going to lie, I’ve jokingly discussed the celebrity pass with a boyfriend or two. And I guess it seems a bit “safer” since the likelihood of your boo meeting his/her celebrity crush is a lot slimmer than them seeing a random cute girl in Brazil. But truthfully, even that’s dangerous in this day and age where everyone is a social media account away. And I would have been quite upset if it had actually happened.

This pregnancy pass thing, though? It just seems to me folks are trying to find any way possible to have open relationships without calling it that. And if that’s what you want, I’m saying — just own that ish. Don’t be carrying on like you’re in a monogamous relationship, but you just happen to be open to the idea of your husband having carte blanche for 10 months.

Naw.

Now I get that there are some factors in play here. Some women think they won’t be in the mood to have sex while pregnant. Some men think they won’t find ol’ girl attractive or that they’ll be too scared to hurt the baby and all that jazz. And to those concerns, I say to all parties — man up.

When you are in a relationship, especially a marriage, you make a commitment to fulfilling the needs of your partner (sexual and otherwise). That doesn’t mean you let someone else fulfill those needs while you’re on sabbatical for ten months, and it certainly doesn’t mean you drop your wife for almost a year because her belly is almost as big as her boobs. Besides, from the pregnant women I’ve talked to (and the ladies on The Real), pregnant women are typically “ret to go” any time, any place. So you might as well take advantage of the situation. No?

What do you all think, though? Did you have the same “naw” reaction as me upon hearing of the pregnancy pass? Or do you think it’s a legitimate suggestion? And have you heard of or participating in any other types of relationship passes? I promise — this will be a no judge zone.

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5 responses

23 10 2014
Jessica Souvinette

I’m with you! No pregnancy pass and I’ve been prego 5 times!!!!. And yes I was always “ret to go” lol… even though he wasn’t. We’ve talked about his feelings about sex and pregnancy and he, like every other man, had his own views on it. I think at the end of the day it’s about your relationship. Pregnancy is a time when a woman needs her spouse in her corner and not someone who’s concerned about pleasing himself with someone else. That’s pretty selfish if you ask me.

24 10 2014
dbaham

Thanks for speaking on this Jess!!

And I think you’re absolutely right about it being selfish. I mean, I just thought it was disgusting — but when I read your comment, I was nodding my head like “yesss, that’s exactly right!” I mean, I get it. Folks are trying to come up with new ways to solve something that seems to be a problem for some relationships — but I just don’t think this is the solution. At least not for me and (future) mines LOL

24 10 2014
JaneDoe

Oh nooooo. There is no pass. If you’re pregnant due to his sperm there is no pass. He better hang in there and know that those are the repercussions lol. Next time he may want to talk about using a source of birth control such as condoms (which I think people should still use with their spouse. hey people are human and cheat. that’s no reason to catch something for a bad decision they made. that’s a whole new subject though lol)

But no. No passes.

27 10 2014
dbaham

LOL I love it. And I completely agree. You helped put me in this position — deal with it sir.

11 11 2014
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From Vacation Passes to Pregnancy Ones? | Choices, Voices, and Sole

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