“Oh, you’re thirsty… Boy there ain’t no SOS; Filled with discontent; Finding you can’t quench; Why you try so damn hard?” ~ Mariah Carey, Thirsty
Destiny’s Child called them bugaboos. TLC called them scrubs. And now Mariah has used the current terminology, thirsty, in her song aptly titled, Thirsty. But what does it mean to actually be thirsty/a bugaboo/a scrub?
Well, as with most slang terms, a lot of it probably depends on the person using the word. Some have used it to describe any person that likes them and does something above and beyond what’s normally considered dating quorum (like calling 2 seconds after receiving that person’s number). Others have used it to really just describe anyone they don’t like who likes them. And still others use it to speak about a person who just seems to come off fake and tries a bit too hard at things.
Either way, even if you don’t know the meaning, I’m sure you’ve heard someone make a comment about thirstiness before — something like, “Oh he’s so thirsty! He called me twice this week! Can you believe it?”
Now, that’s clearly someone projecting because he/she didn’t like the dude, but in that purely hypothetical instance, thirsty was an appropriate describer for that person! She meant it!
And this brings me back to my original question. If thirsty is subjective to who is using it, meaning the definition changes based on the user, how are you ever to know whether or not you’re projecting thirst until you know what that one particular person does or doesn’t like?
It’s a bit of a conundrum right? Because as we’re learning things about each other while dating, chances are we’re not always going to get it right. We’re going to assume that this guy likes to be treated one way because the last few guys did or this girl likes to complimented all the time because the last girl did. And we inevitably run the risk of being thought of as thirsty during these trial periods.
And no one wants that moniker.
I mean, no one.
So what do we do? We combat the thirsty title by completely acting the opposite way of what could ever be considered thirsty. We play games (even though we don’t think that’s what we’re doing), and we make ourselves seem so disinterested in the outcome that we could never ever be thought of as thirsting for someone else. And guess what? There are definite consequences to that. I know I’ve found myself erring too much on the wrong side at times, trying not to come off as thirsty but forgetting that guys still need to know when you’re actually interested in them. And as I’ve said before, I’ve learned (and still have to remind myself sometimes because I’m a hard head) that while I’m over there trying not to be “that girl,” that girl is showing the guy I want how much she wants him and reaping the benefits.
This came to my mind recently when I took one of those Buzz Feed type quizzes (although it wasn’t actually Buzz Feed) to see what type of girlfriend I am. Unsurprisingly, I got the independent girlfriend. And the description had me both cracking up and instantly remembering just how dicey it is trying to toe the line between coming off thirsty and being a part of the could have been a love story duo.
Whoa, Ms. Independent! Your guy digs your modern style… But he’s sometimes left to wonder if you really like him. Keep that unique spirit, but show him your love a bit more often. No worries – you’re light years away from smothering him!
Don’t get me wrong, here. I’m not really taking advice from a survey monkey quiz, but it definitely had some truth in it. I’ve had more than a few guys admit to me (while we were dating!) that they didn’t know if I was interested. Sure I can relish in the fact that they’ve never called me thirsty (to my knowledge), but I’m also not with any of them either. Some of those are for very good reasons. And some of them are simply because I was too afraid to be myself and risk looking like I was parched for water.
So what are yalls thoughts on thirstiness? Do you use the word and in what context? And have you ever found yourself using it to describe someone who was just interested in you a bit more than you were comfortable with or trying to not be thought of as thirsty?