A Thought on First Dates

6 05 2014

Here are the steps you take if you DO NOT want to have a productive, happy, fun, and engaging first date with a woman.

Step 1. Ask a woman you recently met on a date.

Step 2. Request that said date be on a Tuesday night after work.

Step 3. Wait until Tuesday morning to confirm that date will indeed still take place that night (even though the initial request was made on the Thursday before).

Step 4. THEN, inform the woman that you don’t happen to get off work until 9pm.

Step 5. When the woman then asks “what plans were you thinking, since it will be fairly late to do more traditional dinner plans,” respond with “I don’t know. I hadn’t thought of that yet.” On Tuesday — the day of the supposed date.

Why am I telling you all this? Because I like to keep the people informed, but also because I don’t want anyone getting a response similar to this just hours before their date: “Well, maybe we should reschedule when you have more time to come up with some ideas.”

If you’re wondering if this actually happened to me, the answer is yes. And yes, I absolutely responded with that message.

Rude?

Maybe, but whatever. I felt it was rude the way he totally showed no signs of even wanting to put in an inkling of effort. What do you mean you don’t have any plans? No thoughts or ideas? Nothing? On the day of the date? And you want us to meet up after (at the earliest!) 9:30pm on a school night?!

Nah.

Nun unh.

Now, to dude’s (somewhat) credit, he tried to follow-up my response by saying that he really did want to see me that night. But the mood had passed, and my desire to see him had gone with it.

I’m all for spontaneity y’all, but there’s a way to be spontaneous and still show that you put some thought into it. Which is really what a first date gives you an indication of anyway. If you’re lucky, you get to find out if there’s any chemistry between the two of you, you meet that person’s best self, and you learn just how important the date was to the person planning the date by seeing what he or she comes up with. As I’ve mentioned before, that doesn’t have to be something grand, but it has to be something.

Or heck, at least have a better response ready if you’re still weighing your options. Dude could have said, “I have a few things in mind, but we can figure it out closer to the time we meet.” He could have even said, “Well, I’d love to hear what you like to do first.” Anything would have been better than “I don’t know. I hadn’t thought of that yet.”

That last statement really says, “I don’t know. This wasn’t that important to me.” And if I don’t feel like it’s important to you, then I’m not obligated to participate.

What do you all think? And have you had any pre-date blues situations come up in your dating life?

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