#ThatAwesomeMoment When I Finally Wore My Perfect Date Dress

31 03 2014
We didn't exactly look like this, but it felt prett darn close... Photo: http://knowmore.tv

We didn’t exactly look like this, but it felt pretty darn close…
Photo: http://knowmore.tv

It was a little less than a year ago now, but I still remember it like it was yesterday — the day I finally wore my perfect date dress.

If you’ll recall I’d purchased this dress some time ago, not with the knowledge that it would be a perfect date dress at all. But once I got home, tried it on with some heels and a cardigan, I knew. I knew that the only place it could be worn was a date so perfect that it suited how I felt in that dress.

And how I felt was happy, sexy, confident, giddy, pretty, alluring, and more. It was, in a phrase, a dress that made me feel special.

So I waited and waited and waited to wear it because the last thing I wanted to do was to waste that kind of dress on a date that wasn’t worthy. You may think that’s a lot of pressure to put on a dress… and you’d be right. What I inadvertently did was put so much pressure on the notion of wearing the dress, no potential date became good enough.

In fact, I went on quite a few dates between when I bought the dress and when I wore it. And each time I had a chance to wear it, I thought, hmmm I don’t know — I don’t think this guy or this date is special enough. And so I put it back in the closet, maybe to wear for the next time.

What I should have realized at the time, and what I realized much later on, was that the dress was symbolic for how I felt about those men in general, but also about me. I mean, who says to herself, “this guy isn’t special enough for a certain dress”? I should have immediately asked myself afterwards, “well then why are you going out with him?”

But because we rarely realize those things in the moment, I didn’t ask myself that question. Instead, I dated… and I waited… for the guy and the date who would make me want to feel pretty and alluring and sexy and confident and happy and giddy and special all at once.

That date finally happened last summer.

What’s remarkable is that there was nothing particularly special about the date. It wasn’t some grand production or fancy occasion. We basically walked around the city, talking and joking while my arm was wrapped inside of his, and finally made our way to the restaurant where we had dinner and pretty much spent the next four hours laughing.

It was fun, sure. And we had a great time. And the dress did make me feel everything I thought it would when I finally wore it for more than just my eyes to see.

But what was most important to me about that night (and actually what was the part that made the moment so awesome) was that I finally stopped waiting to wear the danged thing. I realized something that I’ve also since realized about my writing and my work and my heart — that until you share it with others, it’s just a pretty dress hanging in the closet. It has no meaning and no memories associated with it. It is, for lack of a better word, dead.

It’s not until I wore it and allowed someone else to see how beautiful it looked on me that the dress truly came alive. Now, it is not just a generic perfect date dress, one where I could imagine how I would feel wearing it with the guy I like. It’s the dress I was wearing when the guy I like looked at me and couldn’t stop smiling. It’s the dress I was wearing when I took the initiative and slipped my arm around his (that’s big for me, yall!).

It’s the dress I was wearing when I decided to stop waiting for life to be perfect before I enjoyed it.

This dress has memories now. It has a story. And even if it wouldn’t have turned out well that night, although I’m very glad it did, it still would have been for the best that I finally pulled it out of the closet.

Do you all have anything like that, that reminds you of a time when you made a pivotal decision for yourself?

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5 responses

31 03 2014
29tolife

Ain’t that a metaphor for life! Why wait? If that dress makes you feel good, sometimes that is the difference between having a good date and a great date when you are already feeling awesome about yourself. I enjoyed this post. I want to go buy a date dress. If I could afford it, I’d have an entire closet of date dresses by my girl Eva Franco. Those dresses just fit so well. Sheesh.

31 03 2014
dbaham

Isn’t it though?! Ugh — I’m a little upset for taking so long to realize it, but overwhelmingly just glad I finally did! We spend soo much of our lives just waiting for perfection… it’s actually kinda sad.

And thanks! You totally should get a bunch of them. The dress I got was from Target, so it didn’t cost me a bunch of money at all. Or at least treat yourself to one. I’ll have to check out Eva Franco (don’t know of her), but if her dresses are more on the expensive end — give yourself some kind of challenge before you splurge.

I’ve been reading this book by Brene’ Brown lately and it made me want to do a gratitude jar for myself. And I also want a pair of SJP pumps which run about $350. So I decided that I’m going to get a HUGE jar this week and will only buy the shoes once I’ve completely filled it with meaningful things I’m grateful and thankful for. I feel like it’ll be a win/win situation LOL

31 03 2014
29tolife

Eva Franco dresses are so dope. She often has sales on her site. The dresses usually run up to $200-$300. I bought one at syms (rip). For $20 and wore it to two weddings. Cut beautifully. I was obsessed. Then I found her website and got on the email list. It’s Eva Franco.com.

31 03 2014
dbaham

Thanks for the link!!!

6 05 2014
A Thought on First Dates | Choices, Voices, and Sole

[…] person planning the date by seeing what he or she comes up with. As I’ve mentioned before, that doesn’t have to be something grand, but it has to be […]

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