What You Won’t Do For Love?

4 11 2013

Last week, I read a very disturbing article about a man who’d cut off his penis, rode his bike to the hospital, forgotten to bring the penis with him, rode his bike back home to get said dismembered organ and then rode his bike back to the hospital in an attempt to get it reassembled. Needless to say, they told him that was impossible. And while this instance was brought on by the man’s own doing and depression, the article also mentioned another instance in which a penis had been cut off by a jilted lover.

My first reaction was – wait this happened to more than just the Bobbit guy? But then, it also made me think about how people react when they hear that the person they loved did them wrong. It may not always be a slice of a penis, but intense reactions happen nonetheless.

For example, after watching the newest episode of Love and Hip Hop New York, I’m sure many women proclaimed that if a guy did to them what Peter Gunz did to his live-in baby mother, they would cut him.¹ I certainly did. I even had a whole conversation with one of my girls about that being how fools get cut and women end up in jail.

But I wouldn’t actually do it. Those were just words that people say.

And yet, as much as people (women in particular) joke around about cutting someone because of wrong doing, the fact is there are definitely real stories of people going crazy and injuring/killing their lovers. Hell, there’s a whole TV show called Snapped that’s all about women who snapped and committed crimes against their partners.

It makes you wonder what it takes to get to that point. Like, do you already have to be a person who is prone to violence or is it one of those things that could really happen to anyone given the right, horrifying circumstances? And then can you actually consider that relationship one that involved love? Or was it maybe one of obsession or co-dependence instead? I honestly don’t know. This is one of those posts where I don’t really have an answer.

What I can tell you is that I don’t think I could ever see myself physically hurting someone because he hurt me. I’m just not built that way. And I was also never one of those women who were into the idea of damaging a guy’s car or property when that was all the rage either. But don’t you think those women who snapped felt the same way? Wouldn’t they have believed that they would never fall to acting out, damaging property, injuring, or killing someone until they actually did it?

It’s a scary concept. That love can drive someone to do hurtful things. It’s certainly not what they talked about in the fairy tales they told us as kids.

Have any of you ever done something you never thought you would do in the  name of “love” or because you were hurt by someone? Know of any good stories that don’t involve you? And what about the idea of love being the culprit — do you believe that or do you think other factors are in play there?

1 If you don’t watch LLHHNY, the season premiere showed us that while his live-in girlfriend and baby mother of two thought she was his defacto wife, Peter Gunz had actually gone off and married someone else recently. The live-in girlfriend had no idea, especially because he was still sleeping at home as if nothing had changed.



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