Soo… That Means I can’t have Amazing Sex and Flat Abs too?

11 10 2013
Pretty sure covers like this are exactly what the writer was talking about... but I love it! Photo: Cosmopolitan Magazine

Pretty sure covers like this are exactly what the writer was talking about… but I love it!
Photo: Cosmopolitan Magazine

A few weeks ago, an internet post went viral entitled, “How to get Flat Abs, Have Amazing Sex, and Rule the World in 8 Easy Steps,” and basically (spoiler alert!) –> it had nothing to do with the first two parts of the title.

Now, don’t get me wrong, it was good and sound advice about living the best life you can live without getting caught up in frivolous things. And I agreed with damn near everything in the posting… except, the whole time I kept thinking “so does that mean I can’t do all those things, live happy, AND still have amazing sex and flat abs too?”

Okay, I was probably being a bit of a contrarian (to myself, no less), but the more I thought about it, I really wondered if people truly believed it had to be an either/or type thing here. I mean, listen – I get it. It’s very easy to find yourself focusing on things that some might consider unworthy topics — you know “petty” stuff like fashion, sex, relationships, pop culture, sports, and even obtaining flat abs – but I’ve always railed against this thinking.

For one, who has the right to tell someone else what’s important to them? I hate conversations like that, and I avoid them just as much as I avoid best rapper ever conversations. Both are entirely subjective and speak to what’s important to that specific person, but I’ve never believed that things I consider special have to be special to everyone else.

Second, and maybe even more importantly, I hate this thinking of only being able to do one thing or the other. I read the Washington Post and the DC City Paper regularly, but I also have a subscription to Cosmopolitan and buy Marie Claire often. I don’t think I should have to give up the latter two to be happier in life.

The fact of the matter is I read the first two to stay an informed person, but the magazines are actually for my pleasure. I enjoy reading about the 15 Quirky Things I can Do in Bed with my guy so that the next time I should have a guy in my bed, we might have some new thangs to try. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that! It’s fun!

So here’s my piece of advice that I’d like to add to the writer’s advice if I should be so bold to add on to someone else’s writing (let’s call it #9): Do all of those eight previous things, and then if you still want to do 500 crunches a day and sex it up in your boudoir, go for that too! Because, in the end, it’s your (ridiculously informed, self-aware, kind, grateful, fulfilled, and happy) life, and you shouldn’t feel the need to limit it.


Hey guys, guess what?! This Monday is a holiday around these DC parts, so you won’t see a new post that day. But Choices, Voices, and Sole will be back bright and early Wednesday morning!

Hope you enjoy the weekend 🙂




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