A Failed Seduction Scheme & a Crash Landing: A Shoe Story

13 09 2013

The idea was easy enough to carry out, or so I thought.

He’d come over. I’d open the door in bra, panties, and my 5 inch fire red pumps. Before he had a chance to even say hi, I’d pull him into the apartment, close the door behind us and plant a passionate kiss on him.

After that, I figured he would have his hands all over me and we’d walk each other to my bedroom, barely coming up for air, tearing off his clothes and what little I had left in the midst of our walk – until we both stood in front of my bed, naked. He’d tell me to keep the heels on for an extra spice, and boom – we’d go at it.

Yea, that was the plan.

Except as it drew closer to the time he was actually supposed to come over, I grew more and more panicked about everything that could go wrong with this plan. I’d never considered myself a seductress, so what if I screwed it all up? What if, on this one night, he had decided that sex wasn’t on the menu? How embarrassing would that be then?

Nonsense, I finally decided. In the course of our 6 year on and off friends with benefits relationship, he’d never not been up for sex with me. It was just that he was always the one who initiated, so this was going to be very new for both of us.

I looked at the clock again.

He’d be there in 20 minutes, so it was now or never. I’d put on my make-up already, being careful to put on just enough that it looked like I naturally had this glow. I laughed while doing this, because clearly he’d seen what I looked like when I woke up in the morning, but still, I wanted to wow him when he walked through that door.

Next, I decided on a black and white bra/underwear combination. Paired with the bright red shoes, I figured these would be the perfect way to let him know I meant business. Breathing out a sigh, I looked in the mirror at what I’d put together. Yep, I could do this, I thought.

I could seduce him.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed it was only five minutes left. And then I heard my text message ringer going off. I bounced over to my phone and saw the message, “Be there in 5 minutes.”

It was time.

I slid on my shoes, combed my hair with my hands one last time, and prepared myself – staring at the clock as the time wound down. Restless, I moved to the door and began trying out poses. Would I just stand there? Should I unlock the door and just tell him to come in and see me posed on my foyer wall, one arm over my head, the other hand on my hip? Or maybe I could just open the door and stand there holding onto the door, staring him deeply in his eyes.

It would be a game time decision, I finally decided.

Just then, my phone rang. It was him, asking to be buzzed up to my apartment. I pressed the code to let him in and then looked down at myself with impending fear. What was I doing, I thought?

With seconds to spare, I kicked off the shoes near my bed and threw on some shorts and a t-shirt. I wasn’t quite ready to be the seductress those shoes required. When he came in to the apartment, we went through our regular routine, sexy hi, great big bear hug, followed by idle chit chat about our day and what we’d been doing since the last time we saw each other.

An hour into his visit, he started looking at me like a man who hadn’t eaten in 3 days. And as we sat on the couch in my living room, he leaned over and kissed me, enveloping my lips with his.

Ahh yes, there it was. Normality had taken over again, and he was the one taking initiative.

We stood, almost simultaneously, not taking our lips off each other, and began making our way to my bedroom. He grabbed my hair, I held onto his back, and there we were – standing in front of my bed like I’d envisioned before, but this time with our clothes on.

I jumped onto the bed, standing at the edge so that I could stand slightly taller than him and began to help him take off his clothes. Our eyes were locked onto each other until he tripped over something and noticed the shoes I’d kicked off laying there in all their candy red glory right next to his feet.

“What are these doing right here,” he asked, laughing. “Were you planning to seduce me?”

I looked at him like a little girl caught doing something she knew she had no business doing.

“Yea, I kinda was,” I said, sheepishly.

“Oh shit, for real? Put ’em on then!”

Clearly he was excited about the idea.

I rebuffed him though, opting to put on a little dance as I stood there on the bed right then.

“How about instead, you lay here,” I said, pointing to a spot on the bed. “And you just let me take over.”

“I think that’s an excellent idea.” Clearly, he was also easily distracted.

He lay down on the bed, readying for a show. And so I began, awkwardly prancing around my bed, attempting to keep my balance but also give off a sexy and confident air. I moved my hips from side to side and wiggled my booty. I teased like I was going to slide my shorts down and then pulled them back up. I bent over one way and then wound my body down the next, all while making the most of my bed-stage.

I continued, kicking my way from one side of the bed to the other and shaking my chest at him like a girl in a Vegas show. I was on fire! Kinda. Well, regardless of if it would actually be a good enough show for public consumption – he was into it. And so was I. I was in the zone, biting my bottom lip and shaking my body from my feet up – attempting to do some kind of expert belly dancing routine.

I wiggled around one more time, figuring that the show should probably end soon, and of course, lost my footing on the edge of the bed, tumbling to my demise. Falling in the least sexy way possible.

In slow motion.

Backwards.

And right onto those damn red heels.

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6 responses

14 09 2013
Brenda

I was reading this on the subway and almost burst into laughter at the end. I’m sorry, it was funny. I’m sure you can laugh about it now. It’s hard to carry out a seduction dance because you have to prepare yourself for the possibility of rejection. But I hope the night was successful at least. LOL.

15 09 2013
dbaham

hahahaha I’m glad to hear it was funny to you! I can totally laugh about it now, so no worries on that. I just didn’t know if I’d portrayed it to the point where someone else would laugh LOL

And it’s totally hard to carry out a seduction dance when you’re not that confident in the dance lol… I’m much better at it now 😉

25 09 2013
29tolife

This would totally and has totally happened to me!!! I’m the sexiest goof ball on the planet!!!

25 09 2013
dbaham

Hahahahaaha – sexy clumsies unite!! *raises fist with ring in the air to join powers* LOL… no, but really I’m sad you’ve experienced this as well, but I’m quite happy to know I’m not alone also lol

25 09 2013
29tolife

Tripping and falling butt naked ain’t cute. But it happens. Didnt even have heels on. Smh.

26 09 2013
dbaham

Oh don’t I know it? Lol… definitely funny to laugh at later though. Much, much later.

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