Tips for My Future Husband – #14

23 08 2013

Know how to give “damn good” massages

Have you ever had one of those massages that relaxes you so much you could just go to sleep right there and not wake up for hours? And just so we’re clear; I’m not talking about a professional massage here. I’m talking about a massage from your boo-thang. Either way, I hope you have, because it is an amazing feeling. The best way I can begin to describe it is that it’s like floating on a cloud high above everyone and everything, if that cloud also had hands that would kneed you and rub you, helping to release any tension you have in your body.

To say it’s relaxing is kind of an understatement. It’s soothing. It’s calming. It can be sexual, but honestly, the best ones really aren’t completely about sex. Actually, the right one can be damn near life-changing, but it requires the person getting massaged to chill and let someone else do the work for them. It’s a burden releaser and a tension remover. Damn it, it’s just awesome.

And the beautiful thing about the massage is that it can come in so many different variations. Shoulder/neck. Hands. Feet. Legs. Full body. Face. (Oh yea, I said face and if you haven’t had a face/head massage yet… get one soon. Like really soon.) Back. There’s no limit to what can be massaged on a person’s body! Something seemingly so simple that just involves kneeding, patting, slight touches, rubbing, or all of the above can make any person pure putty in your hands.¹

I think I had my first massage from a guy I was dating the summer before my freshman year in college. Actually, I know that’s when my first one was, but uhhh… how do I say this nicely? At the time, I thought everything he did was over the moon, so his massage was fantastic simply because my boo was using oil and his hands on my bawday. And then, well, one day in college, I was introduced to a “damn good” one. Nothing was ever the same.²

You see, a damn good massage isn’t just about the physical act of putting your hands on someone. It requires skill, sure, but also real intimacy with your partner, a level of trust between the two of you, and yes – maybe even a little sexual tension (unrealized or not). It’s about wanting the person receiving the massage to experience pure bliss. A guy who doesn’t care how you feel can’t give these. A guy who is more concerned with his pleasure than yours can’t give these. And a guy who doesn’t know the power he holds in his hands (sans oil) can’t even think to give these…

But all that’s okay. Because if I’m lucky, and I sure hope I am, future hubby definitely will.

1 There was a LOT of alliteration in that sentence. My bad!

2 No Drake. <– Remember when that was a thing? No? Okay.




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