Family Pressure

11 01 2013
Apparently, this is where my family thinks I should be... at the ripe age of 29!Photo: stignatiusyardley.org

Apparently, this is where my family thinks I should be… at the ripe age of 29!
Photo: stignatiusyardley.org

Grandmother: So baby, you know, both of your sisters are in serious relationships now. Do you have plans on getting in one yourself?

Me: Well, mawmaw, I mean, I’ve been in serious relationships before, you know…

Grandmother: No, I know, baby. But I mean, for right now.

Me: I’m good for now, mawmaw. It’ll happen when it happens, you know.

Grandmother: Okay. Well, I mean, you don’t even have a “friend”?

Me: *takes huge gulp from my glass of wine* Not right now, mawmaw, but thanks for the talk.

I guess I should have expected these kinds of conversations would start rearing their ugly heads sooner rather than later in my family. It’s just that after all the praising I did of them in an earlier post for not pressuring me to start a family in the next day (like other friends of our family), I wasn’t exactly expecting them to take a nose dive straight into lunacy this past Christmas.

But that’s exactly what they did.

Well not everyone, my mom was the one person still not telling me to marry the next man who asked for my phone number. But as for everyone else? Oh they pure lost their minds! Between both my sisters telling me how they needed me to get married and start having babies soon so they could have some babies to play with to my bff’s husband not so subtly offering to introduce me to one of his friends in a way that was quite clear he thought I couldn’t meet anyone on my own, it was definitely, shall we say, an interesting trip home for the holidays.¹

To make matters worse, my ex, who was hinting at marriage 2 years ago when I broke up with him, was also trying to meet up with me while I was home. Right in the midst of all this… pressure. Yes, that’s right. Right in the midst of everyone asking why I wasn’t married yet, the man who wanted to marry me was asking for another chance.

And I still said no.

Because despite the fact that some in my family now consider me a 29 year old spinster, nothing would make me sadder than to know that I rushed into a relationship because my family thought it was time. I love them dearly, and I know some of their comments were in jest, but like I told my grandmother not 4 hours after arriving in New Orleans.

“It’ll happen when it’s supposed to happen.”

And not a minute before then.

I should point out, that despite this, it was a good trip home. I got to see lots of family and friends I love dearly.

Advertisements

Actions

Information

4 responses

11 01 2013
detroitraised

I completely understand (see http://tasha365.blogspot.com/2013/01/you-need-man.html). And though the family I’m around the most seems to have gotten over it during my 20s (namely my mom and maternal grandma (though she did inquire me about having a “friend” which led to an interesting MySpace blog, what is up with grandmas and “friends”?)), it seems everyone else decided the holidays after I turned 30 was a good time to broach the topic. I feel your pain.

11 01 2013
dbaham

What IS up with the grandmas and “friends”??!! I was floored when she asked me. This is the same grandmother who asked my cousin how she got pregnant 5 years ago when she didn’t have a boyfriend… now she’s asking if I have friends! Ridiculous.

So sorry that you can feel my pain, dear. Fortunately for me, I think (hope) enough of my family saw me nicely go off on my bff’s husband for everyone to leave me alone about it. Like you, I’ve never been that boy crazy girl (I read the blog!), but I’ve definitely had my fair share of boys… so all will be OK lol.

I didn’t say this to my grandmother, but I have become fond of saying it to others who like to mind my business – “Until I get it right, I’m going to thoroughly enjoy my time getting it wrong. And when I do decide that I’ve met the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, I’m sure your nosy ass will be one of the first to know lol”

11 01 2013
detroitraised

Oooh, I need to remember that one. Good looking out.

11 01 2013
dbaham

You’re welcome!! lol

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




%d bloggers like this: