Halloween Post: Scariest Things to Hear While Dating

26 10 2012

Photo: Photo: brandthunder.com

I realize Halloween is technically next week, but since this is most likely the weekend that many adults will get dressed in costumes to celebrate it, I figured it would be fun to do a post on the scariest things you can hear while dating – today.

Now, obviously, probably three of the scarier things you can hear are “I’m pregnant,” “I’m leaving you,” and “The doctor says I’m HIV positive,” but there are certainly many more. In fact, some of these statements may be even scarier than your favorite scary movie. (Incidentally, when I was younger, my favorite scary movie was Boogie Nights. What was yours?)

So what could be scarier than watching the Shining before walking down the long hallway in my apartment complex? These comments below:

I found an earring in your place… and it’s not mine.

I think I ripped the condom.

I’m not really a man/ a woman.

Your penis is how long???…. followed by LAUGHTER.

Woman: I love role playing! How about you be the woman tonight and I’ll go get my strap-on.

I love you (3 weeks into the relationship).

I don’t love you anymore (3 years into the relationship).

It burns when I urinate.

I think Supahead is the perfect model for being a good girlfriend.

She/he smashed the homie.

I think I just saw your boo in a pRon movie. No, wait – I’m pretty sure I just saw him/her.

Let’s go on Maury! I have something to tell you.

Woman: Fine. (right after an argument)

Man: Nothing’s wrong. (right before an argument)

Okay, that’s all I have for now. Can you all think of any others?

PS: Your girl is dressing up as a Saints football player this weekend – black and gold all over, with hot pink accessories. My Nikes are hot pink and so is my football and lipstick. And of course, I’ll be putting the black lines under my eyes. GEAUX SAINTS!!! What are you dressing as???

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2 responses

4 11 2012
Brenda

I can’t stop laughing, these are hilarious. I’ve lived the ” I love you” two weeks into the relationship and after I flatly turned him down, he tried to force me to say it. Smh
How about, “Remember my nephew, he’s really my son. And I want you to meet my other children.”

5 11 2012
dbaham

LOL glad you enjoyed! And yes – isn’t that 2-week “I love you” soooooooo creepy?!

And um yeah, that statement right there can DEFINITELY be included in one of the scariest things to hear while dating. Oh MY!

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