Missing Things, but Not Him

22 10 2012

Photo: HabitFormingSuccess.com

I’ve been very single for the past 2 months. By very single, I mean, I’m not actively dating anyone. I’ve given my phone number out and conversed with a few guys, but nothing has come of any of it. And there’s no go-to guy coming over to fulfill any carnal needs, either. I am very single.

And for the most part, I’ve loved every minute of it. I don’t have anyone questioning me, even though I feel like we’re just dating and he has no right to do so. I don’t have to try to schedule time for anyone multiple times a week (which has really helped since I’ve been real busy with a new job). And I’m not getting into petty arguments over things I consider… well, obviously petty.


There are times when I, let’s say, miss some of the things that come with dating someone. And no, I don’t mean the typical chexual things. Sure I miss that too. But really, I mean the other stuff. Like… knowing that I have plans at least one night during the weekend with him (unless we’re both out of town). Like… waking up and hanging out in the bed a little longer than we should, even though we both have to get to work in the morning. Or coming out of the shower and finding that he’s ironed my dress so I’m not late for work. Like… laughing and watching 90’s movie classics such as Class Act and House Party on the couch, or watching the sun set along the Potomac.

Yet, as much as I miss those things (and they’re pretty specific, right?), I don’t really miss… him. And by him, I mean the last guy I dated who I did all those things with for a few months. Actually, if I’m completely honest, when I think about missing those things, he’s completely detached from the memories for me. I don’t see his face. I don’t miss personal things like his scent. I just miss what we did while together.

Am I the only one who’s felt this way before?

You know, it’s funny because I feel like I’ve dated enough that I’ve been in the position where I’ve missed the guy, and I’ve also been in the position where I haven’t missed the guy at all – I’ve just missed the things that came with the being with the guy. And anytime the latter happens, I’m always confounded.

What about you all? Have you ever been in this position? And if so, what did you take it to mean?




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