The Nickname Game RE-Visited: Chex Names

17 08 2012

I don’t think it’s a secret at this point, but if you didn’t know, I looove a good nickname. My friends and I give nicknames to the men in our lives, and I even wrote a huge paper in grad school on predicting US Presidents based on the amount of nicknames they garnered while in the public before their campaign.

But what I’ve never actually talked about in its own post on Choices, Voices, and Sole is my (our) love for s3xually-related nicknames.

So why not do so on a nice summer Friday, right? Right.

I should start off by saying that my friends and I have used nicknames to refer to s3xual acts at least since we were in high school. And I’m pretty sure it began with the top-dog nickname shown in the chart above – watermelon. I honestly don’t even remember how that nickname came to be, but once one person used it, it stuck. And then grew. And as more people found out what it meant (watermelon = cunnilingus : think about the imagery before you question it), it really grew! Now, I can’t think of one close friend who doesn’t know what watermelon means when I (we) say it.

But as we got older, I think maybe we started to believe that using nicknames was a little childish. We were grown. We could say what the actual act was, right? So we did. Often. Much to the dismay of some friends who weren’t so liberal about discussing such topics. But we were embracing our grown-ness. We were about as crass as you could imagine, actually, which was probably particular funny to hear coming out of the mouths of what many might consider very demure women.

And then one day, we all started back up. It wasn’t discussed, but in the same way that watermelon took on a life of it’s own, we all started coming up with all these different ways to say the same thing. Rss-feed (ahem: random safe s3x). Shucking oysters. Chexing. Having cookies. Tacos. Eggs. The list could go on… and it did.

I think it began again when some of us started blogging and many more of us began using our work emails/computers to talk about different topics. For my fellow bloggers, you know the last thing you want is for your site to get blocked by work computers because of the language. So you end up using code and that code finds its way into email conversations. It’s a much more seamless process than you would think.

For example, here’s an actual email convo I’ve had with a friend:

Friend – That man was looking scrummy in the spread!

Me – RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!

Friend – I just wish I didn’t feel like I’d squish him if we shucked oysters.

Me – Well there’s that…. But as someone who enjoys a man of a bigger stature, but recently rss-fed with a bean pole, I can tell you that you wouldn’t LOL

And another:

Friend – Besides, it’s been so long since I had Chex mix I don’t remember what I’m missing.  So pathetic.  I know.

Me – Girl whatevs. It’s not pathetic at all. You’re not just letting any and everybody in your chex mix bowl. You have that right lol

Friend – Did you just refer to it as a chex mix bowl?!?!?!?

See how easily it just happens? I don’t even think we mean to use them sometimes. And yet, we do. But while I thoroughly enjoy coming up with these nicknames (on the fly sometimes), the other day I remembered an exercise that another friend of mine did with some teens last year.

She asked them to come up with as many nicknames as they could to describe a s3xual act or a s3xual organ. You can imagine, with teens, they came up with plenty, like over 100. And trust me, their nicknames put the little cutesy nicknames my friends and I use to shame. To shame!

Then she asked them to come up with all the names we use to say, “elbow.” You know what they came up with?


So maybe while my friends and I laugh and joke around with our nicknames, there’s a bigger point to be discussed. Maybe it says something about our society that nicknames are even needed in the first place.

What do you all think? And does it matter if it does? Wouldn’t you like to join us in the nickname fun anyway? I kinda think you want to 🙂




5 responses

21 08 2012

I was so busy this Friday I totally missed this post! I love it though! Love it! On a completely silly note, I’d like to vote “Landing” onto the list. My Favorite and I have been calling s3x that since sophomore year of college when . . . well, I don’t even really know how we got started calling it landing. But once we did it stuck!

And, I do think it is a bigger societal thing. I was having a convo with an old coworker who refuses to use cutsey nicknames for girl parts and boy parts with her kids. She wants them to call it what it is. But, in society, we teach kids from a very young age to call their girl parts and boy parts (see, I can’t even say genitals!) funny names like we’re ashamed. It only makes sense that chex would fall right in line.

21 08 2012

And I totally feel like you could have named names (well, blog names) on your convos b/c I feel like they were both with me. LOL. I know you were referring to my chex mix bowl!

21 08 2012

I’m all for “Landing” being added to the list lol. And you’re absolutely right. We had a whole nation calling a woman’s genital parts Va-jay-jay for years because it’s deemed “inappropriate” to use the correct word. We’re a very interesting society lol

and ps: they both totally were conversations with you! But since I didn’t get your permission before putting them in the post – I didn’t want to name names lololol

21 08 2012

Ha ha ha – it’s OK. I’ll own those convos.

And, is it me or does va-jay-jay sound more rediculous than the sceintific name?

21 08 2012

Wonderful! lol

And yeah, va-jay-jay is the worst. I totally prefer chex mix bowl hahaha

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