Should You Keep the Ex-Box or Not?

18 05 2012

ILLUSTRATION BY MARIA M. STOODLEY/TIMES UNION/ photo credit: blog.timesunion.com

Sweater

Eddie Baur t-shirt (yea lol)

Pocket square

CD

Pictures

Hoodie

Stuffed Animals

To my quick recollection, these are some of the items you could probably find from various exes throughout my apartment. For some reason, I never actually created an ex-box for anyone but Montana, and really that was more about me not wanting to accidentally oops up on something of his that would cause the meltdown that eventually happened at UniverSoul Circus.

But for all the other exes, I never created one. And I’m not quite sure why I didn’t except that I can admit there are times I rock the hell out of that Eddie Baur t-shirt – and I wouldn’t be able to do that if it were packed away in some box. (Don’t judge me… it’s only because the shirt is so comfortable and really the closest thing I have to a night gown.) But as for the other things, I don’t wear them. I don’t use them. They’re just not in a box.

But I get that many women do put them in a box. And I actually get why. Their reasons probably vary, but I assume they are similar to the reasons I created one for Montana – you want to keep some  items as cherished things, but you don’t want to accidentally come up on a pocket square while rummaging through your closet looking for something to wear to work. So you pack it up and put it away. You don’t want to quite get rid of it, but you don’t want to see it as a reminder all the time, either.

But is this the right thing to do?

Feng Shui says that if you want to make room in your life for another person, you should live like it. You should have items in twos, not singles. You should make sure your place isn’t completely cluttered so that there’s symbolic room for another person in your place and in your life. So what would it say about keeping items from a past relationship? I would assume it would probably say to get rid of everything. Immediately.

In fact, it seems to be a little more nuanced than that:

According to LuckyPathFengShui.com, in an article entitled “6 Feng Shui Steps to Healing from a Separation or Divorce,” you should definitely remove the items from your bedroom – but that doesn’t necessarily mean you shouldn’t keep a box.

5.  Remove the ex’s belongings from your bedroom—in Feng Shui, the center for relationship energy is in the bedroom.  Therefore, make cleaning out the ex’s belongings a priority to start the healing. Remove the DVDs left behind, the love letters in a box in the closet, the teddy bear he won for you at last year’s state fair, the framed wedding announcement she made for you. You don’t have to dispose of everything—healing takes time.  Just put the objects that remind you of your ex into a big box, seal up, and store somewhere out of the bedroom—preferably at a friend or relative’s house where you won’t be tempted to nostalgically rummage through the box as you sip—or gulp your favorite anesthetizing beverage.

According to eHow.com, however – finding an ex-box in your current boyfriend’s place is pretty much a bad sign that he’s not over his ex-girlfriend. They say, “If your boyfriend cannot let go of the things his ex has given him, this just shows that he cares for his ex or he still has feelings for her. He wants to keep these things because it reminds him of his ex.”

But what say you? Is it no big deal or a reflection of not being over that person or those people? Do you keep the ex-box or not?

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