“You so cute with no make-up. (Wait hold up) Wait up. Is that make-up? Okay, it’s cool you fooled me…” Trey Songz, Don’t Wanna Come Down
Alright, I know it’s actually a few days past April Fools, sue me – actually don’t. Forget I said that. Anyway, even though it’s a few days later, I figured that I would provide a little more insight into some of the things we women do that some men folk know about, but for the most part are usually fooled by. Don’t worry, it’s not anything malicious – but it is kind of funny sometimes to know just how clueless guys can be.
So don’t say I never did anything for you… okay?
The No Make-up Make-up
The best of these “tricks” and probably one of the more obvious ones, considering the lyrics I chose for the top of the post, is the natural make-up look. I can’t tell you how many guys have said to me something like, “I love that you don’t wear make-up” or even better – “wait, I didn’t realize you had freckles” when they actually do see me without make-up on.
Let’s be clear, guys. Some women don’t wear make-up, yes, but most women know how to wear make-up that makes it look like they don’t have it on and they just happen to have the most even skin in the world ALL. THE. TIME. Right. Just as a heads-up, you should just assume there’s some make-up involved (in your head, of course). No need in calling us out on this trick – after all, we do it for you. Everyone isn’t this bad, but did you see Trina Braxton’s bags under her eyes when she didn’t have any make-up on? EEK.
The BFF Shaper
I don’t wear mine very often, because every woman will tell you they are uncomfortable as BLEEP, but I’m pretty sure every woman has at least one of these things. That’s why I called it the BFF. And FYI – it’s so not size dependent. I have friends who are size 4s that wear shapers.
I’ll never forget when one of my guy friends found out that Beyonce wore shapers. He was so distraught. When I explained to him that the chances were very high that if he saw a really hippy woman with a small waist and everything was extremely smooth, that she was probably wearing a shaper, you would have thought I killed his cat. And he doesn’t have a cat.
The Extra-neat Apartment/House
We all know how important it is to show a guy that you keep a clean apartment – even if neither of you actually do. I won’t lie – I tend to keep my apartment clean until I find myself doing too much in life and then it’s all in shambles. (So basically no one is allowed over right now lol.) And this is precisely the time that a guy will want to come over. So what do you do as a woman?
Throw everything in whatever catch-all place you have in your home.
Mine is my second/storage closet in my bedroom. It has served me well over the past year and a half. Of course, now that I’ve divulged this secret – I may need to make some changes. hmmm. Anyway, please don’t think this is just for a guy we want to date. It took 5 or 6 years before Cosby ever saw my apartment slightly dirty – but he also never looked in my storage closet. So maybe it was a mutual understanding.
Okay, that’s enough for now. I’m not trying to get kicked out of my gender. Hope you all had a great April Fools and you didn’t get tricked too badly. Ladies – did I miss anything?