Dating Mistakes I Make all the Time (but Essence says I should Avoid)

21 12 2011


Have you ever gone on a date with a guy, thought it was absolutely perfect and then slowly realized he was never going to ask you out again? Or maybe you got through the first two dates, but when it came time for the all important third date – dude went MIA? I’m sure if you haven’t had those exact experiences, you’ve had similar experiences. I may not have had those two specifically happen to me, but I’ve definitely had guys start to fade themselves out of contention before while we’re dating. And while sometimes that just naturally happens because you both start to realize the connection isn’t really there, other times, it’s because of a dating goof we’ve made (yes, ladies – us.) recently did an article profiling some of these dating mistakes and per usual, your girl has made plenty of them. I won’t list them all. You can go here if you want to view them, but some that stuck out to me were:

You Wear Too Much Makeup

Doing so implies to a man that you may lack self-confidence. Looking good isn’t all about trying to achieve perfection. It isn’t about caking your face with so much makeup that you look like someone else. No man wants to wake up in the morning to find your makeup all over the sheets. Think: More confidence, less makeup.

You Check Your Phone Constantly

This is disrespectful to the man you’re on a date with. When your man is around, try to keep your smart phone addiction hidden. It makes you seem obsessive-compulsive when you’re always peeking down at your phone or you leave it out on the table. It’s annoying, and it makes him feel less important. Just throw it in your bag and enjoy yourself.

You’re Clumsy or Awkward

This says that our sexual compatibility is in question. When we’re up, you’re down. We try to connect because we’re attracted to each other, but something just seems off. If we’re not connecting on the dance floor, how are we going to connect in the bedroom? To increase flexibility and become more in touch with your body consider a dance or yoga class.

I’ll start off with something I agree on and say that as someone who totally has a crackberry addiction, I’ve learned to place my phone on vibrate and put it in my purse. My close friends will tell you that this is no easy feat for me, but it is rude if you’re trying to get to know a guy and you’re constantly looking at your phone. Unless you have a kid or another specific reason you absolutely need to have your phone out in the open, it’s just better to put it away.

Okay, now to something I kinda sorta maybe agree with but with some caveats. I don’t think I can be accused of being the girl that wears too much make-up, but that also depends on when the guy sees me. If we’re going out after work, he’s probably going to see my patented “natural make-up” look where I definitely have on make-up, but it just looks like I have a freshly blended face that for some reason has lightly bronzed, rosy cheeks. If you meet me while I’m out at nighttime though, I’m clearly going to have on a nighttime version of this. Eyeliner. Smokey eye. Maybe fake lashes. Possibly a bright lipstick. Would I look crazy if I wore this to a 3pm date on the National Mall? Of course. But I think it’s more about when and where you wear the make-up than anything else.

I also have to take issue with the clumsy statement (and while I didn’t post it here, I also take issue with a statement they made about tattoos but I won’t get into that one.) Maybe I’m bias here since I am slowly, but surely becoming known for my historically bad awkward moments with guys I actually like. At last quick count, I’ve done everything from saying “whew!” after kissing a guy, falling off the bed while trying to be sexy (Alicia Silverstone style in Clueless), sizzling my hand while noting how “hawt” I am, and who could forget the infamous “please stop, I’m powerless to your seduction” moment.

But none of those moments were about a lack of chexual compatibility between me and the guy. If anything, it was because of all the passion between us that I went into high school girl, ohhhh emmm geee, I really like this guy mode.

But what do you all think? Does this list make sense? And have you found yourself victim to making any of these gaffs?




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