Am I Comparing Men to a Bottle Opener? Yea… Kinda.

7 12 2011

Men seem to think they're really simple, when really they're a lot like this bottle opener

I went to a party the other night at a friend’s house that had a demographic of about 15 men to 5 women, and of course as with most gatherings with guys and girls in their 20s, eventually a conversation began about the simplicity/complexity of men and women in relationships.

Per usual, the men contended that they were simple and women were complicated. In fact, after about a 2 ½ hour conversation, the men boiled down their sentiments into this one statement, “For men, it’s all about my time and my money. If I don’t like you, I’m not spending either of those things on you, and I’m definitely not doing both.”

Ok, that seems simple enough. But as the woman in the conversation (and trust me, even though there were other women there, I felt like the lone woman giving her input into the discussion), I attempted to explain how things may seem simple to other men, but are not as simple when it comes to a woman’s translation of the act. The opposite is true as well, I noted. For example, if you ask any woman what the one thing she wants to know when she’s first dating a guy is… chances are most women will say the same thing – I just want to know if he likes me. Not if I throw it on him, will he say yes. That’s obvious – you’re on a date. But does he like me? To women, that’s a simple question with a simple response. You ask me if I like a guy, I’m either going to tell you yes or no.

To men, they see it as a trick question. Well, what do you mean does he like you? You mean, does he want to marry you? Do you mean, does he want to let go of all possibilities for you? Do you mean, does he want to drop everything and only focus on you? NO dude… just simply, when he thinks about me – is he interested in more than just banging but also more than just friendship? If I gave him a piece of paper that said “Do you like me,” what box would he check?

One wouldn’t think that concept would be that hard to grasp. But we (women and men) do this to ourselves all the time. We talk over each other. We debate the merits of simplicity and complexity and we definitely find ways to put folks in categories so as to make the most generalized statements ever. And that’s what we did that night. Over and over, we all made generalized statements about men and women, and I, yes I, stood as the only person wanting to acknowledge that there are indeed exceptions to some of these hard fast rules.

This post is really no different, but I figured it was a fun way to make an important observation nonetheless. After this conversation (and slight attack on me from the men, but we won’t go there right now), I talked to Pimp C the next day and broke down what happened. Of course, she agreed with everything I said, probably more so because we’re besties and tend to think alike in many situations as opposed to being just because we’re both women, but that wasn’t the best part. What was funnier was the analogy I mentioned to her that I’d given to the men.

You see, during the course of that evening, everyone attempted to use a bottle opener very similar to the one shown above. Seems simple, right? Negative. It took like 4 people to open up one little measly bottle of wine, because what looked like a simple bottle opener was complicated as all hell. We were twisting and repositioning and giving up and trying again and all along, I just kept thinking why don’t they have a regular wine opener like this one? –>

Well, I eventually found out that the bottle opener up top was not just a wine opener, but was also supposed to be used to open up beer bottles and the such. Except that more than a few people ended up having to use the bottle opener on my key chain (don’t judge), because again – this simple bottle opener was more complicated than it realized and basically useless (because it didn’t realize how complex it really was). If you’re wondering because you didn’t read the title of the post, yes – I was comparing this bottle opener to the men. You think it’s simple but when you go to use it, eh not so much lol.

What do you all think? Am I being too harsh on the men? Or are you as tired of hearing the same ol “we’re really simple” crap as I am?

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