How to Love

17 08 2011

Y’all know I love me some Wayne, but I have been straight clowning him and everyone I know that’s all into his song, How to Love. I mean, really y’all? We’re looking to Weezy for love songs now? The man who puts one hand in the air for love at concerts and has 50-11 children? The man who said in a recent interview that How to Love was like Tupac’s Keep Ya Head Up? Really?

Its all a little funny to me.

But regardless of all that, the fact that the song is so popular (even Stevie Wonder likes it, apparently) made me think about the fact that there have been a good amount of songs by men expressing their need to learn how to love. Musiq talked about it. Neyo talked about it. Even New Edition talked about it back in the day.

Now, I could focus on the reasons why men seem to be asking this how-to question and I could go into the details of them needing to see more real life examples of love in their lives, but I won’t. Not here. I’d rather focus on the fact that I can’t think of any songs by women with this concern, even though we have the same questions come up in our conversations with our friends.

Is that because it’s assumed that a woman intrinsically knows how to love and so a song would never be written with the basis being that she doesn’t know? Or is it because women are not as open about this conflict outside of the girls’ circle?

If that’s the case, let me break down the wall now. We want to know too. We know we want love (well, those of us who do), but if you polled most women and asked them if they knew how to, and they answered you honestly – it would probably be no. Not, do you know how to be a good girlfriend? Not, do you know how to make your man happy? Do you know how to love?

Heck, some of us still think love is this butterfly filled feeling that requires no work at all. I was once that girl. It wasn’t until sometime in college, I think, that I started to learn that love was an action word, not just some feeling that couldn’t be controlled. But have I learned how to do it yet? Doubtful.

So what can we do to break down those walls for us girls? And can you think of any songs where women admit that they’re not all that knowledgeable about how to do it?

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5 responses

18 08 2011
countryclubbarbie

To answer your question – no, I can’t think of a song by a woman about needing to learn how to love. And no, I don’t have a good reason for why not.

But, I think you missed the point of Weezy’s song. As an avid listener of this song (because, as embarssing as it may be, it is my jam) I don’t think Weezy is talking about himself at all. I interpreted the song as him singing to a woman about her experiences. Which is where I think he see’s the comparison to Tupac’s “Keep Ya Head Up.”

I also think that Weezy is giving you the perfect assist in your point that women need to learn how to love just like men do. Because clearly, the chick in his song (Tammy maybe? #seewhatididthere) has not learned how to love (for whatever reason). So while women may not be out singing and asking for instructions on “how to love” at least he’s picked up on the fact that women too need to learn how to love (as in the action).

I think the only thing scarier than Weezy singing love songs is Weezy being the first man to address that women need to learn this skill too.

18 08 2011
dbaham

Ohhh ok, gotcha on the song… thanks for the clarification. But yes, it is sad/scary when Weezy is the one addressing that women need to learn how to love lol. I’m not quite sure how I feel about it ha ha

19 08 2011
S Dot Lyphe

i’m pretty sure the song you’re looking for doesn’t exist, but if you find it, pleas share it, because I’ve been waiting to hear it my whole adult life! LOL! Seriously though, we all need to learn, and acknowledging that it’s an action and not a feeling is the best possible start. Good post, as usual! 🙂

19 08 2011
S Dot Lyphe

*ugh, please share it.

i hate when I make typos in comments, because you can’t go back or delete them. #Wordpressfail

19 08 2011
dbaham

@ S Dot – ha ha ha, sounds like I need to get my song-writing skills on and put out a HOT single! But no for real, I’m glad you think the action acknowledgment is a good start cuz sometimes I wonder if I even know a little bit lol…

and yeah, what’s funny about wordpress is that I can go in and edit your comment but you can’t edit it… very strange.

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