Unanswered Prayers and Dodged Bullets

27 07 2011

There’s been recent chatter about the ideas represented in Beyonce’s song, Best I Never Had, that have confused me a bit.

Basically, the sentiment has been that women are silly for thinking that any man is sitting around thinking that he lost someone great when a break-up occurs, and therefore – the song is silly, because that’s the premise of the song. Yet, I would argue that the song is more about her belief that she dodged a bullet than about her belief that he missed out. Now, don’t get me wrong – she does think he’s missing out, but what person with some sort of self esteem doesn’t feel that way? Like Lil Wayne once said, ‘If I don’t think I’m the best, who will?’ Or something like that…

Anyway, let’s look at some of the lyrics to see if I’m right.

There was a time
I thought, that you did everything right
No lies, no wrong
Boy I, must’ve been outta my mind…

Thank God you blew it
Thank God I dodged the bullet
I’m so over you
So baby good lookin’ out


I wanted you bad
I’m so through with it
Cuz honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had.

That sounds like a woman saying, “thank you Lord” for not having that one work out. As much as I wanted it; it wasn’t the best thing for me. I’ve certainly felt that way. #Jake #Cosby anyone? But let’s take me out of the equation for a second, because other songs have expressed this emotion as well. Songs made by men. Popular songs made by men. Maybe we should bring in Garth Brooks’ Unanswered Prayers to show what I mean.

She was the one that I’d wanted for all times
And each night I’d spend prayin’ that God would make her mine
And if he’d only grant me this wish I wished back then
I’d never ask for anything again…

And as she walked away and I looked at my wife
And then and there I thanked the good Lord
For the gifts in my life

Some of God’s greatest gifts are all too often unanswered
Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers

Is this not the same feeling? Am I trippin? I mean, isn’t it a human emotion to be thankful when you realize that the thing you thought you wanted wasn’t what you needed? I just feel like that can’t be something that only women feel. In fact, I’ve seen more than enough guys on Facebook talking about #dodged bullets to know that it’s not something that only women feel. But maybe I’m wrong, and I’ve completely misinterpreted the song. My theory, however, is that Beyonce’ has kind of become synonymous (for many men) with man bashing songs, so immediately the feeling is that she can’t possibly be expressing a legitimate thought that many people have. (And this is coming from someone who much prefers her “Diva” songs to her attempts at being deep.)

What do you all think? Is Beyonce’ perpetuating a silly emotion or is she just speaking a truth felt by many? And let’s talk a bit about dodged bullets. Have you ever had that “aha” moment from a past relationship?




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