A Friend of a Friend Type of Gal

20 07 2011

In my recent attempts to get to 11 dates by the end of this year (still sitting at 4 as of now, grrrrr), I’ve had a few occasions where I’ve attended what folks like to now call ‘mixers.’ Sometimes they’re labeled as networking mixers for particulars careers or colleges, other times they’re labeled much more honestly – single’s mixer.

And yet, there’s only been one time I’ve ever actually met someone who piqued my interest enough to go on a couple dates. The other times? Eh, mixed results… for various reasons, including not being attracted to anyone, not having my attention held by those I was attracted to, and most importantly feeling like I was at some mixture of a job fair in a bar and totally not being in the mood to schmooze.

You know what I mean. Conversations like this:

Guy: Oh, where are you from?

Me: Oh OK, I’m from New Orleans.

Guy: And what school did you go to?

Me: Yeah, I went to Howard too.

And lest we forget, the question every DC-ite has heard a gazillion times… So what do you do?

Me: Oh, I’m a writer. No, I don’t work for a newspaper. Nope you won’t see me on TV. I’ve written for a couple magazines and a few websites… Yes, I’m telling the truth when I say I’m a writer lol.

It all gets a little worn out after awhile.

But put me in a group of friends or people who are friends of friends and I’m on fiyah! I’m like Dylan #MTB joke. I’m telling stories, making folks laugh, and just all around having a good time. And more times than not, that usually leads to a phone number exchange, a Facebook friend request, and/or a date.

So why can’t I do the same when I’m trying or when I’m going to something with that intent? I think it goes back to my problem with flirting. As you’ll recall, many of my friends consider me to be a big time flirt, but only when I’m doing it subconsciously. When I’m actively trying to flirt, they’ll tell you that it doesn’t go over well.

At. All.

Which has lead me to conclude that I’m a friend of a friend kinda girl. That’s how I tend to meet people. Sure there have been a few exceptions, but for the most part – that’s where I strive. Its my comfort zone. (Which basically means that more of my friends need to have random friend gatherings between now and December 11th. Really.)

Anyway, I think most people tend to have a comfort zone when it comes to meeting potential datees. What are some of the ones for you all?




2 responses

26 07 2011

LMAO! This is like reading about myself. I need the buffer of friends. The friend kinda acts as a bridge; you can figure out the foreign land on the other side of it, so long as you have a safe way to get over there. And generally the pretense of the gathering makes a difference. Like, if the event is just a mixer or a networking event, I am usually fine. As soon as you put “singles” in front of mixer I feel uncomfy. Like I am on the prowl or being perused in a market full of other singles, waiting to get chose. And I can’t, lol

27 07 2011

La – Oooooh I like that bridge analogy! But I totally agree about the addition of the word “singles” to the mixer equation. It just makes everyone and everything they do seem so forced. But it must work for other people, right? Maybe just not us lol

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