97 Days

13 07 2011

Okay, let me start this post by acknowledging/reminding you guys that I move really slow when it comes to relationships. Really slow. In fact, I move so slow that I’ve never had a guy accuse me of moving too fast. Like, ever.

That being said, the fact that this blog post quoted this study as saying that the normal time it takes for people (but men, in particular) to fall in love and then express that verbally is 97 days, blew my mind.

97 days, though?

As in 3 months, y’all.

7 days more than a lot of women strangely make men wait to bed them.

I mean, really… Follow me here – Ninety. Seven. Days.

Am I the only one surprised this? Does this say more about me than the other people? I mean, I’ve never realized my love for someone in that amount of time. I’ve really liked people within 3 months. I’ve really enjoyed having them in my life in 3 months. But love? I always thought that kind of quick (? Is it really quick now based on this study?) realization was an anomaly. An exception. Not the rule.

Heck, y’all know about Jake. Even with him, it took me 7 months before I realized it and 8 months before I said it. Okay, that wasn’t a conventional relationship, some of you may say – but I’ve never said I love you within 3 months of dating someone.

All of this brings about a couple questions for me. First: Am I the only one who thinks this is fast for an average time period or do most people agree with their assessment? To be clear, I’ve had a whirlwind romance before and we never made it to month 3, but perhaps by that time, I would have loved him. I certainly liked him more than I expected in a month’s time. BUT even in my dating life, he’s the exception. They’re saying it’s the norm.

Second: if it is the norm, what the hell is wrong with me? Lol… No, really. I know sometimes I move too slow, but I didn’t realize I was that far from the curve.

Third: if nothing is wrong with me, what the hell is wrong with these other people? I mean, do they go around professing their love to every person they’ve dated for 3 months? I know I said I believed in Common’s ‘it don’t take a whole day to recognize sunshine’ statement… But sometimes it might take more than 3 months……….. no?

I’m willing to be proven wrong, though. Someone help me understand. Let’s break this 97 days down.




2 responses

15 07 2011

Maybe something is wrong with the both of us then because 97 days is FAST. Certainly by then I have grown accustomed to their face but love? That’s a bit much. But then again I generally try to take my time in relationships too. I am far more comfortable with anything after 6 months at the absolute EARLIEST.

19 07 2011

Thank you! I was like, AMAZED, at this 97 day theory. I’m glad to know I’m not alone though 🙂

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