The Art(??) of Approaching a Man

25 05 2011

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about my #11 in my Eleven in ’11. Yes, the one where CCB mandated that I approach at least one guy for a date by 12/11/11. Yes, the one I’ve been dreading since she gave it to me – not because I think it’s wrong or anything (although I am a firm believer in a confidant man who can approach me wisely), but because I suck at purposely attracting male attention.

Do you guys remember when I spoke about my awful flirting habits and how I noted that when I don’t try to flirt, people think I’m a master at it, oh but when I try – disaster? Well the same can be said for approaching a guy. There’s been plenty of times when one could say I accidentally backed my way into approaching a guy, but now that I actually need/want to? I got nothing.

Now part of this is because I haven’t really been impressed by anyone living in the DC area lately. I mean, literally – outside of this guy I saw on a packed elevator one time at my job, there’s been no butterflies, no gushing, no uncontrollable smiley faces, no nothing. I’ve met guys that were kinda cute but didn’t really thrill me and I’ve met guys that were rude from jump, but no one that makes me say – hmmm, ok he’s got my attention.

The other part is that I have a wonderful knack of thinking of genius ideas AFTER its too late. For example, the other day, my co-workers took me to lunch for my birthday and the waiter was actually kind of attractive. He seemed nice and I figured, I’m in a ‘I can only seem to meet guys who live outside of DC’ slump, so I said to myself, “self – you should ask this guy out.”

And for the next hour and 1/2, I tried to figure out what the hell I could possibly say this to man without coming off desperate. Especially since I only thought he was kinda attractive – no one wants to get played by someone they’re not even that thrilled about, right? So I sat there and talked to my friends, and thought, and thought, and absolutely nothing came to me. Finally, I gave up.

It wasn’t until I got back to the office that I realized what I could have done. Dammit, I thought – another lost opportunity when it seems like the opportunities aren’t all that plentiful these days.

A similar situation happened at the club/bar this past Friday. I’m standing at the bar, talking to the bartender (who was again, kinda cute), and I realized ‘dude, this is your chance! Go for it!’ And this time, I even thought of what I could say at that moment and he’d lead me right to my possible statement within our conversation… And… It… Wouldn’t… Come… Out… Of… My… FREAKING… Mouth. It was like someone put a padlock on that blicky.

I just couldn’t do it.

And the conversation ended soon after.

Am I the only one who has this problem, girls? And if not – what’s your normal methods for approaching but still letting the guy feel like he’s the man? What about my fellas? What would be the ideal thing you’d like to hear a girl say to approach you for a date? Inquiring minds want to know…




5 responses

25 05 2011

Now you realize what happens to guys at times! It has nothing to do with him being confident or not, although there are differnet levels of confidence in us all. With guys sometimes we see a woman that is just so beautiful we seem to think she’s out of our league and the anticipation (not fear) of being shot down like an Iranian pilot over the Sahara is too much to handle and we let that opportunity pass us by. Of course its easy when you’re the prey and not the hunter, in this scenario, to be able to pick and choose those you will or will not give play to. The anxiety you face is the same feeling men face every time they think about approaching a woman…welcome to our world, so grow a pair and just do it!

25 05 2011

Umm “grow a pair and just do it” is too funny. Though, I’d like to suggest wearing a Howard t-shirt to a sporting event or waving to the player on the field, ha ha.

25 05 2011

@ El – thanks for your input… except that you didn’t actually answer the question I posed.

@CCB – funny, that HU shirt suggestion sounds vaguely familiar. Oh, that’s right. Because I gave it to you! LOL

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