Full Circle

18 05 2011

“You got me going in circles…. oh oh oh, round and around I go.” ~ Luther Vandross

Quick side note: I’m 28 now y’all. Wow. I was talking with Pimp C last week about how 15 year old D-Magic thought she’d be married with 2 kids by 28, 21 year old D-Magic thought she’d be married with one kid by 28, and 24 year old D-Magic just thought she’d be married. Now that I am 28, I’m so glad I don’t have either of those things right now. But I would like to find someone who lives in my area who I’d like to go on a 3rd date with, or hell – even a first date… how about someone who even interests me enough to want to give them my phone number, cuz right now it’s looking real bleak. Memphis Bleek.

Anyway, on to the post…

Its funny how things work. This time last year, I almost moved to NYC and now one of my besties is moving there. This time last year, my main focus was on finding a new job and secondarily working on my books. That’s switched drastically this year. This time last year, I was being told what I recently had to tell someone else – that I like you and enjoy spending time with you, but above those things, I REALLY don’t want a long distance relationship.

That last one kinda sucked, but it got me thinking about all the times we end up doing to someone else what was once done to us. I know I’m not the only one here. And it doesn’t necessarily take a year for that to manifest.

In a matter of 2 months one year, I had a guy tell me that he really needed to work on himself so that meant he couldn’t be with me and then I turned around and said something very similar to someone else. At that time, I thought I meant what I was saying (as I’m sure the guy who said it to me thought as well), but hindsight being 20/20, I think I just knew that the other things I wanted to do with myself were more important to me than pursuing a relationship with this fellow. Meaning, I was into him… But not really. I wasn’t THAT into him.

I could probably tell a million stories like that, and not just with break-ups. I think life in general tends to bring us full circle and also show us that we reap what we sow. Have you ever felt like you could never understand the actions of someone close to you… until suddenly, you were presented with a very similar scenario? I have… it happens to me all the time, really. I already told you guys how it wasn’t until I was asked to stay longer on one of my trips home (and subsequently fussed at by two of my guy friends for contemplating not accommodating the request) that I realized how much I played a part in the destruction of a past relationship every time I turned down a similar request from him. That doesn’t mean anything would have changed in that relationship (in fact, I’m confident that we just weren’t meant to be regardless of what either of us did or didn’t do), but it provides some insight to say… hey, maybe it wasn’t all his fault.

What do you all think? And does this phenomenon happen to you? If so, why? I mean, really, what’s the deal with things typically coming full circle on you?

PS: I should say that it remains to be seen what my relationship will be with the New Orleans cutie from this point forward. He could be like I was last year and not be willing to accept anything less or he could take the route I didn’t and decide to let things play out as they will. Either way, I’m sure there will be subsequent blog posts about it… and isn’t that really what it’s all about anyway?

PPS: Guess who got her Bruno Mars song for her birthday yesterday??!!! Yep, that would be ME!!!!

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