54 + years is a long time… (ie Happy Valentine’s Day, my sweets)

14 02 2011

Last weekend, I interviewed my maternal grandparents about their 54 years of marriage and since then so much has been going through my mind about what it takes to stay in love with someone for that long. I mean, really… 54 years you guys. That’s like twice the time I’ve even been on this earth… literally.

That means 54 years of arguments, 54 years of waking up to the same person every day, 54 years of dealing with their flaws, 54 years of compromises, work, and understanding… and yes, it’s also 54 years of loving someone with all your being. 54 years of trusting someone else and knowing he or she is there. But 54 years is 54 years.

As I listened to my grandparents recount everything from their first date to their wedding date to their first Christmas with all their grandchildren present, it struck me as to how much you have to really love someone to begin and continue that journey with them. It’s a journey that begins with you two, but if you’re blessed, certainly doesn’t end that way. My grandparents had 3 children and 11 grandchildren and all kinds of other family between the two of them. It’s certainly not something to be entered into lightly… and it gives so much meaning to what love really means for me now.

Love… such a simple, yet complicated word, right? It’s supposed to be the heart behind days like today and yet, for the most part, when we (the general we) spend this day with a partner, it’s someone we may like and/or care for… but love? Sometimes, yes… others…well, maybe appreciate is a better word for those people. Heck, most of us probably can’t even give a working definition (without quoting someone or the Bible) of the word if asked. That’s not a diss to anyone; it’s just an acknowledgment of the complicatedness of the word.

It’s a word that can largely be defined through actions, but is often used as a noun. And it’s something we all say that we want, but it’s also kind of scary if you really sit and think about its implications.

I’m sure that today, the radio stations all over will be playing love songs. And folks will be receiving little candies that say, Be Mine. The flower and card industries will have a day to be happy, and girls like me will probably have on some form of pink or red on… but as much as we love to talk about love, somehow the responsibility of it gets lost somewhere in the conversation. I guess that’s natural, since saying love comes with responsibility isn’t as romantic as saying it comes with butterflies and flowers… except that the responsibility involved seems to be more genuine than anything else.

That’s something that’s been kind of playing back and forth in my head lately as I find myself back in the dating game a little. Am I really ready for love? And what does that all mean? What do you all think? What does it mean to be in love?

Happy Valentine’s Day, guys!!! I hope it’s an amazing day for you all… 🙂

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2 responses

14 02 2011
S_Lyphe

Very, very, very well said. Especially this: “It’s a word that can largely be defined through actions, but is often used as a noun. And it’s something we all say that we want, but it’s also kind of scary if you really sit and think about its implications.”

14 02 2011
dbaham

Thanks hon! There’s nothing like a compliment from a writer to a writer :)… Happy Valentine’s Day!!! See you in a couple weeks…

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