Simple Complicated Me

3 02 2011

I (and other women) tend to love to talk about how I am (we are) fairly simple to understand and thus, also to please. I like the simple things, like calling when you say you’re going to call, telling/showing me you like me when you do, and partaking in a lil watermelon feastage/oyster shucking consistently – you know, simple ish.

But the other day I found myself listening to Beyonce’s Flaws and All on youtube and I thought about how complicated each and every one of us really is (men, included). It came to my attention after perusing the site for Greenlight because a certain Cosby Show had me feeling like he was holding up traffic; green means GO! And of course, after I’d listened to that song about 5 (million) times, youtube kindly suggested that I listen to something more love friendly… like say, Flaws and All.

Quick background on this song: while it’s not like the Alicia Keys song, Like You’ll Never See Me Again, in that I don’t avoid it like the plague; it was one of a few songs that I have a connection to through my Sweet November relationship. So basically, I can listen to it but I don’t actively go out pursuing it to listen to. Does that make sense? Hope so…

Anyway, on this day though, I said why not. And the thing that struck me instantly was that I’d forgotten just how real the song captured the idea of not liking/loving someone despite their faults, but because of them.That’s a concept I don’t think we talk about very often. You hear people say they love their partner for the man he will be or the woman she can be, but this song is like, nah I love your crazy arse just the way it is now. That’s so powerful to me! (and inspirational, because I know I can be a handful at times…)

I mean, if you think about it, if you’ve been friends with people long enough, you probably have things about them that can get on your nerves, but because you love that person as your friend – you deal with it. You make the decision that this person is important enough to you that their flaws don’t drive you away; they just make up the complicatedness of that person. So then, why is it so easy for us to forget that when it comes to people we’re dating?

I don’t quite have the answer to that just yet, but I can tell you that when I find a man who loves this train wreck in the morning and b*tch in the afternoon… basically, who accepts me flaws and all… I plan on screaming it out to the hilltops because that right there is some real ish.

Do you guys have any attributes that you think make you simply complicated; some flaws that your mate will have to love? I could probably write a whole 900 word post naming mine… what are yours?




4 responses

4 02 2011

Yes, yes, yes, I’ve said for a long time – most notably here: *shameless plug alert* – that we pick our friends that way but for some reason fail at picking our boos that way. I’m hoping against hope that’s just when we’re young and stupid though. Anyway, bravo for this post!

6 02 2011

Lmao! I looooove when I get confirmation from my men friends on my ideas… So even though you did the shameless plug (lol), I’m going to focus on the bravo! Plus, you know how much I like relationship idea kudos. Wooooooooot!

7 02 2011

haha well I have to tell you when you’re right just like I tell you when you’re wrong (see last post lol). Also, leave me and my shameless plug alone! It’s hard out here for a young black scribe! lol

14 02 2011
54 + years is a long time… (ie Happy Valentine’s Day, my sweets) « Choices, Voices, and Sole

[…] means 54 years of arguments, 54 years of waking up to the same person every day, 54 years dealing with their flaws, 54 years of compromises, work, and understanding… and yes, it’s also 54 years of […]

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