The importance of kissing and other not completely s3xual activities that tell you how someone has s3x

18 01 2011

Baby knew what the deal was…

Have you ever been in the club and you turn around and see a guy dancing and it’s just… Wrong. Just all kinds of wrong lol. Or maybe you see that dude that just leans on the wall and makes the girl do all the work. Well, both of those men would not only get the serious side eye from me but I’d also be able to tell certain things about their sexual capabilities.

Meaning, if you have no stroke on the dance floor, chances are you have no stroke in the boudoir. If you’re a jack rabbit on the dance floor, chances are you’re a jack rabbit in the boudoir. And if you’re a smooth criminal on the dance floor, welllllll… I mean… 😉

Dancing isn’t the only signifier, though – even though it’s probably one of the more common ones. Here are 3 more that I can think of…

Kissing

Clearly, since it’s in the title and everything, right? But really, you can learn so much by learning a guy’s kissing style. Is he a take charge kind of kisser? Is he tender? Do his lips barely touch yours or do they seem like they’re going to swallow you whole? Is there too much tongue? Not enough? Does he bite? Does he let you lick his teeth? All these things tell you how he’ll be in bed, but most importantly, they tell you whether or not you two will match up.

I’m big on kissing. Really. Kind of the opposite of how I feel about cuddling. But trust me, I’ve had some bad experiences. With one guy, I thought I was going to need a life guard to save me from all of his spit and one dude actually tried to attack my lips. Tip of the day: A little nibble is okay. Biting down on someone’s bottom lip until they bleed —> SO. NOT. OKAY!

The worst, though, was this guy who kept poking me with his tongue. Yeah, he was a jack rabbit with his tongue… in my mouth!!! Who DOES that?!! Needless to say, that never went anywhere – but it’s best to know these things before the clothes come off. Could you imagine how he had s3x? ewww… I’m getting bad chills just thinking about it.

Joke Telling

You weren’t thinking this one, right? But think about it… 1) most women love to laugh, so if you can tell a good joke, that goes a long way, but more importantly, 2) joke telling takes some form of confidence. If you hesitate or don’t go full out with the joke it can go all wrong very quickly. But a guy who can tell a good joke with ease and suspense and confidence makes me think he can do other things that well as well.

Seriously, no one’s trying to take the guy home who stumbled over a tired knock knock joke. You just seem lame. No offense to all my non-joke telling brethren.

Walking (especially when with a woman)

Have you ever seen a stiff man walk? Nothing about that is sexy. Nothing. Oh, but a man who walks into a room and commands attention just by taking off his coat??? mmmm yes, yes, and more yes! Now, where it really tells you something is how he walks with you. I went out with one guy who constantly gently led me as we walked. For example, when we went through doors, his hand was just slightly on the small of my back, slightly guiding me through the door. What does that tell me? He’s probably a guy who likes to have the girl on top, but still dictate the stroke. You see where I’m going here? All kinds of conjectures can be made from walking with a man…

Anyway, what are some things you all can think of that can tip you off to a guy’s s3xual style? And for my guys. are there things that tip you off about a girl’s s3xual style? If so, what?

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15 responses

18 01 2011
countryclubbarbie

OK first – that picture is totally killing me! Secnod, you’re a freak, LMAO! Third, I’ve got a couple things to add to the list:

The way he talks. Not literally the way he speaks (like an accent) or the words that he says, but how he talks. Does he lick his lips? Smile with ease? Bite his lips. The men who I think are the best in bed all have the LL Cool J lip seduction thing going on. There is a reason women go ga ga over Uncle L licking his lips. It’s because we all imagine that he’s equally talented licking other places.

The way he folllows directions. I’m as hard headed as they come so I know following directions isn’t always easy. But, the way a guy responds when you tell him what to do outside the bedroom is an indication (in my opion) of how he’ll respond in the bedroom. A certain young lover I once had was eager and willing to check out places I wanted to try, follow my directions to get there when I was driving, etc. I found that in the bedroom he was equally as eager to please. Taking my cues to keep going or try it a different way. With a certain old head, not so much. He was horrible at giving and taking directions – inside the budoir and out.

18 01 2011
countryclubbarbie

Ooops – I meant follow directions when HE was driving. If I were driving of course I’d already know how to get there, lol.

18 01 2011
S_Lyphe

I saw that there were 2 comments and figured E-mej-iately that @countryclubbarbie was going to have said something all types of wily-nily reckless. and lo and behold “There is a reason women go ga ga over Uncle L licking his lips. It’s because we all imagine that he’s equally talented licking other places.”

What the hell am I supposed to do with THAT?!?!

*notes that licking those places is VERY important* LOL!

18 01 2011
countryclubbarbie

Nothing I said was wily-nily or reckless, thankyouverymuch. In fact, I helped all the poor, non-lip licking, no direction following men out there. If you didn’t know before now you know that you need to 1) learn what to do with that tongue and 2) learn how to follow directions.

And, ummm, there is PLENTY that you can do with that! #justsayin #keepinit100

18 01 2011
S_Lyphe

LMAO! Pretty sure it’s in my best interest to NOT comment any further on that. also #keepinit100 lol. I did literally laugh out loud though! hahahahaha!

Also, please refer to my footnotes. We’re reading from the same hymnal there homie. HOWEVER COMMA, the reverse is also true.

Additionally, your male POV response is coming to the blog soon, promise!

18 01 2011
countryclubbarbie

LMAO! Well, I’m sure that you know what to do with your . . . you know what? Nevermind. I was going to take it there, but it’s not my blog so I won’t.

And, I am a firm believer that “to whom much is given much is required!” LMAO! Side note: My turn to laugh out loud at my cleverness, lol.

Yay! Can’t wait!

19 01 2011
dbaham

Ok… I’ve got a couple things here.

1. CCB – you looove my picture up there, don’t hate! lol (I think it illustrates my point very well lol)

2. I. AM. NOT. A. FREAK. I’m just a very observant person. That’s my story and I’m sticking with it.

3. All about you two carrying on this watermelon tinged conversation on the post and S_Lyphe not actually answering the question at hand lol

4. @ CCB – nice additions to the list.

19 01 2011
countryclubbarbie

Ummm you’re definitely a freak. Don’t make me start combing the archives of “Choices, Voices and Sole” to prove my point.

I’m pretty sure there was no mention of watermelon until you got here. FREAK.

20 01 2011
dbaham

ummm I think it’s pretty safe to say that “It’s because we all imagine that he’s equally talented licking other places.” and “*notes that licking those places is VERY important*” and “… now you know that you need to 1) learn what to do with that tongue” and “HOWEVER COMMA, the reverse is also true” ANNNNNNND “LMAO! Well, I’m sure that you know what to do with your . . . And, I am a firm believer that “to whom much is given much is required!” ALL imply watermelon-ie activities. thankyouverymuch! lol

20 01 2011
S_Lyphe

I feel the need to say I was quoted out of context here! lol. Additionally, I would appreciate it if you all would leave the fruits out of this, because some of us have to eat *actual* watermelons from time to time, and I would like to do so without your NASTY associations in my head lol

Onto my answer to the original question, hmmm, things that are give ways for the (sometimes) fairer sex. I would agree with the kissing, that’s universal I think, and I’d add dancing for sure. If you don’t ever put your hands on your knees, i’m going to assume you well, don’t even put your hands on your knees.

The way a woman licks her lips gives me some inclination as to the “however comma” part of this conversation.

That’s all I have ow. I may or may not be back later with more. Y’all tell me if those things reveal things about y’all. But please don’t be specific ::look at you @CCB:: LOL!

21 01 2011
dbaham

Boooo… you definitely were not quoted out of context at all. And furthermore, discussing the eating of watermelon should not affect your abilities to eat *actual* watermelon. If anything, it should make it that much more enjoyable ha ha

…and yes, I am someone who firmly believes that sooo many problems could be solved if there were just more watermelon eaters and oyster shuckers out there for every woman. It might just bring about world peace lolol

21 01 2011
S_Lyphe

Oysters too?! is there nothing you won’t ruin, woman? lol

In fairness, our metaphors for this are pretty bad too. It started out being something like “rapping on the mic,” which transformed into “delivering a sermon” for a really good one. I know how awful that is, before y’all even tell me. And yes, I generally think these activities keep the trains running on time.

It’s my turn to call you out though because you fussed at me for not posting my own things and then totally ignored it when I did! boo!

21 01 2011
dbaham

lmao! well go ahead and add cookies, tacos, cake, and eggs in there too lololol… I won’t bother giving you the full sayings and explanations for them; but yes, they’re all used in reference to eating or giving the goodies.

and funny to you guys’ references… I won’t say anything about it being awful, because you’ve already pointed it… though, it is.

and lol sorry… I mean we already knew about the kissing and the dancing, but of course now you have me paying attention to how I lick my lips to see what it indicates to folks lol

21 01 2011
S_Lyphe

Are there no foods you people are going to leave un-ruined? I don’t even wanna know the story about those! lol!

And I’m just saying, there’s nothing quite like a good word to leave you feeling umm….inspired.

Also, it’s a good thing you’re paying attention to that now. Because someone else probably is! ha!

31 08 2011
What to do the Next Time Mother Nature Ruins Your Plans for the Evening… « Choices, Voices, and Sole

[…] want to try the Michael Jackson experience with a guy? It might be a good way to find out what dance moves he’s working with, without, you know, doing something potentially awkward like bringing him to the club. Plus, if he […]

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