The Inherent Benefits of a S3X Buddy

20 12 2010

Is this all you're thinking of wearing for your s3x buddy? that's fine.

Quick disclaimer – this is not necessarily a promotion for having a s3x buddy; just me saying that if you’re going to have one, go hard or go home.

Throughout the lifespan of this blog, I’ve been fairly open about my opinion on s3x buddies: I think more people could have them successfully if certain rules are followed. (What I don’t think folks should get into is the grey, friend with benefits distinction… That’s when you start doing things like spending the night, cuddling, hanging out without having s3x, and basically confusing the ish out of each other.)

And yet, even though we’ve discussed the topic of s3x buddies, we’ve never actually discussed the benefits of having one. Here’s where you say, “ummm you get s3x, duh,” right? Sure, that’s one benefit… But trust me, there’s more! And I say this as someone who successfully pulled off a 4 year s3x buddy relationship with no problems.*

Go hard or Go home

Recently, some friends and I got into a conversation about whether it was OK to wear lingerie with your SB. Some said that it might be too much and that it was something only for your man, but then some said – ‘ummm if the point of your relationship is s3x, then you should get everything s3xually out of this relationship that you want.’ Meaning, if you want to wear lingerie – where it. If you want to try a position in every room of the house – do it. And if you want to open the door with just a bow on for Christmas – tie it. Lol

To me, this is the biggest benefit of having an SB. You can do anything and everything you want with this person. Some people may save those things for their man… I’ve heard women say that before. Heck, I’ve been the woman who’s said that before… But the more I thought about it, it just seemed like a faulty distinction. If you had a car that could drive smoothly at 150 mph and you never (safely) took it to at least 90, what the h3ll is the point of getting that car?

You feel me?

Once I realized that, the idea that I wouldn’t do anything I wanted with him (that we agreed on, of course) just seem ludicrous. But maybe that’s just me. This leads me to the next benefit, though.

Experiment All You Want

Oh, you say you’ve never had phone s3x, but you want to try it? If you have an SB, what are you waiting for? After having the conversation with my friends this weekend, it dawned on me that out of the men I’ve been with, the person I’d been with most was Cosby. The person I’d tried the most stuff with was Cosby. The person with whom I’d tried out my signature move 1st was, wait for it, Cosby.

And guess what, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. Now, sure – I guess the 1st choice would be for those things to have come with someone who was my man… And there have certainly been things that I’ve learned or perfected with men who were my man… but there’s also been a significant amount that have come from Cosby. Because, I mean, if you can’t try out new moves or new places or new things with your SB, then you should probably reevaluate you guys’ situation.

Boost your confidence without Boosting your numbers

Maybe you don’t care about that kind of thing, or your numbers are so high (or low) a few extra people won’t hurt… but think about it – if you have one consistent s3x buddy for however long you two choose to be together, you significantly impact the number of people you’ve been with. As one of my girls put it, it doesn’t matter how many times I am with you, you still count as one person.

But more importantly, you should be boosting your s3xual confidence in this relationship. I mean, can you really be timid if you have a relationship built strictly on s3x? Does that work? And if so, wheretheydothatat?

Anyway, what say you, dear readers? Did I miss any inherent benefits on here? And who’s going out to buy that bow for Christmas? ha ha

*Yes, it was actually successful for 4 years. The two years after that, not so much. Where we went wrong was that we started doing things other than s3x. I’m just talking about what I’m talking about here, people lol.

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6 07 2011
Why are Friends with Benefits the New Black… in Hollywood? « Choices, Voices, and Sole

[…] for emotions to enter the situation than one where you’ve simply decided to enter into a Cut Buddy contract with someone. The biggest and least talked about difference between those two […]

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