To Gift or Not to Gift…

16 12 2010

As you all know, we’re in the holiday season… a time where, whether you celebrate Hanukkah, Christmas, or Kwanzaa, there’s some sort of gift-giving involved. Some people who we get gifts for are kind of obvious. Close family members, friends, and the children in our lives (at least in my family) are pretty much your standard go-to people in the gift category, and of course if you have a significant other, there’s bound to be some sort of gift-exchanging as well.

But what if you just recently met someone and now there’s this looming question of whether you should get him or her gift. Most times, this question can be answered easily enough. And really, I’m kind of a fan of getting that person in your life something even if it’s more about the thought than it is about the actual gift. My problem comes in with the receiving part of the gift – exchange. In fact, I was recently asked the other day what I wanted for Christmas and I had the hardest time answering such a simple request.

You would think I would know, right? I mean, I did just ask Santa Claus for a whole list of things earlier this week. And before then, I posted about some shoes that I could go for if anyone felt like being Santa’s helper. And heck, this year, I even sent my mom (ie: Mrs. Claus) my Christmas list fairly early. SN: I’m usually the last person that answers her “what do you want for Christmas” question… and my answer is usually something vague like, I don’t know mom – some shoes, some jewelry – you know me. I’ll love whatever.” She usually gets frustrated at this, but it’s because I really am more of a ‘thought that counts’ kind of person when it comes to presents. Sue me.

Anyway, this year, I’ve been on it! I even gave my Secret Santa pretty specific suggestions for my gift (we do that at work, so people can have an idea of what you may want). But when it came to answering this very same, very simple question that happened to be coming from the guy I spoke about in the last post (yes, the one I’d like to keep around for a little while) – I had nothing. Nada. Non.

There I was, chatting it up with CCB over email and asking her if it was strange that I couldn’t give this man an answer. I mean, really, I can’t be the only one who’s had this problem before, right? I think my non-answer stemmed from a similar concern that a lot of women have when you go on a first date with a guy. At this point, we know how it looks if you order steak or lamb for your meal, so you don’t want to be that girl. But you also don’t want to be the girl that orders a salad either, simply because it was the cheapest thing on the menu. I had the same feeling when it came to the present question. I mean, what do I want? Well, hell – I want a vacation (even though I just came from Puerto Rico), but I’m clearly not going to ask for that. I want another hour and 1/2 full body massage, but nope, not going to ask for that either. And I think by now, you know that you can’t go wrong with a pair of hot shoes for me and here’s a tip for anyone interested – I looooooooove emeralds (yes, even more than diamonds), but c’mon – I’m definitely not asking for that.

So what do you ask for?

I suppose you could treat it like a Secret Santa gift and ask for something simple like some soup mugs (which I totally put on my list this year thanks to Soraya lol), but eh… that just seems kinda impersonal, right? Right. Plus, as I mentioned in a post a few years back about Christmas gifts – the earlier on you are in the dating process (and we’re VERY early on), the smaller the gift should be. You don’t want to show up with a Movado watch after knowing the person for a couple weeks lol. They may like the watch, but they’ll probably think you’re crazy.

Well, after much thought – I finally settled on what I wanted. I won’t divulge what it is here, but it actually ended up being something we both will like and use (and no, it’s nothing nasty – I know how you guys are with your dirty thoughts), but it took me sooo long to think of this idea, and I’m not sure if it should have.

What do you all think? Have you been in this position before? And what seems more nerve wrecking to you – getting someone new a gift or telling the new person what you want? I think you know where I stand on this… but where do you?

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8 responses

16 12 2010
countryclubbarbie

I would just like to point out that:

1. it most certainly could be used for nasty things

2. There is no way this can actually be my fault and now I think you just blame things on me for the heck of it

3. I totes know how you feel.

And, while someone (he he) and I were discussing this very situation someone pointed out something to me. Someone asked why I was getting so stressed about it? After all, the fact that someone wants to get you (or me or anybody – regardless of how early on it is) a gift shows that it really it is the thought that counts. That even after a few weeks or a few dates someone thinks enough of you to get you something for the holidays. And, that that is the gift in itself. That someone likes you enough to care.

I never really looked at it like that before. Sometimes, someone has a good point.

I also told someone that liking me enough to care does NOT equate to a present, lol.

And, worst case scenario, since it’s early on, you could always put a limit on the gifts. I mean, it might be kind of tacky (I don’t think it is, but some might) but this way it ensures that you’re not getting Movado while he’s getting a Maxim Calendar.

16 12 2010
dbaham

LOL

1. well, okay… touche’… but the intent is not for nasty things (right now lol)

2. Haven’t you noticed by now that is just the tag I use when I’m discussing a conversation we’ve had in the post? ha ah

3. ha ha ha that’s a good way to look at it… tell someone, thanks for the insight. (and by the by, those “someone”s were giving me all kinds of comprehension trouble early this morning on my BB lol)

— and the Maxim Calendar gift would be absolutely hilarious!

16 12 2010
countryclubbarbie

1. You asked him for the internet?

2. Well change it to “insightful conversations I have with CCB” because blame has a negative connotation.

3. Oh yeah, I did switch the meaning of someone half way through, LMAO! Sorry about that.

Maybe I’ll try that calendar instead of my original plan, lol.

16 12 2010
dbaham

1. no… arse!

2. nope, I like my tag. thanks for the suggestion though 🙂

3. ha ha ha no worries – I got it, just not the first go round lol

hmmm… I still think you should go with my suggestion. All you need is some ribbon lmao!

16 12 2010
countryclubbarbie

What I won’t be getting “someone” is anything that involves ribbon. I acutally have a pretty good idea, thankyouverymuch.

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