How to Get Over an Almost Somebody

9 12 2010

“Can you tell me, how can one miss what she’s never had… who ever said it’s impossible to miss what you never had, never almost had you.” ~Tamia (Almost)

Everyone always talks about ways to get over someone you were with and things didn’t work out. You’ve heard all the advice – from detox yourself from the person for at least 60 days to find a new somebody as quickly as possible, because the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.

Can I mention real quick how I hate that 2nd one? I do. Moving on…

Anyway, we always focus on the long term relationship that went wrong somewhere. The thing that you thought would always last… But what about the guy (or girl) who you met, dated a couple times, and for reasons only known to you all, it didn’t work? What about the guy (or girl) who captured your entire attention from jump, but ended up fizzling out before the third date? Or the guy (or girl) who made you laugh, but never kissed you; kissed you, but never made love to you; had sex with you, but didn’t proceed into a relationship from there? Or the crush that never manifested into anything more? What about those people? How do we get over them?

On the surface, this may seem quite easy, and sure it’s easier to get over these folks than say an engagement that broke off, but leaving comparisons out, the quirky thing about the almost somebody is that they’re sure to bring up questions in some way. What if questions – which have got to quite possibly be the hardest ones to answer.

Maybe you treat the almost somebody as you do the break-up, but that seems a little extreme. There’s really no need for a detox, unless it’s from their Facebook or Twitter account (people still give those out all willy nilly, right?). And I mean, I guess you could jump in bed with someone else, but that seems a little extreme for getting over someone whose lips never even touched yours.

Then again, I mean, do you lol. #notonetojudge

I’m thinking the best way to get over the almost somebody is to just acknowledge what it was, whatever it was, and not dwell on it. You know, let it flow, let it flow, let. it. floooow, because the reality is that while you probably wanted to know more about them (like Tamia wanted to know about the dude’s kiss), that person was almost somebody for a reason lol. And I believe it was Brandy and some other wise folks before who said that almost doesn’t count.

What do y’all think? Any other ways to get over an almost somebody? And have you ever had an almost somebody? If so, what did you do?

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3 responses

9 12 2010
countryclubbarbie

+10 for the random references to late 90’s/early 00’s music.

9 12 2010
V.I.P.

U know, I go through this pretty often. I agree there is no surefire way other than to adopt the “it was what it was” mentality. Sucks, but that’s the reality of it

9 12 2010
dbaham

@ CCB – yay points!!!!! woooot!

@ VIP – I think more people go through it than we tend to acknowledge. Mostly because it kind of sounds crazy to be like, I’m trying to get over this person who I was never really with lol. But in essence, that’s what you’re doing when you’re giving up on a crush or someone who you dated, but not exclusively.

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