By now, if this isn’t your first time reading this blog, you know that there are times when I reference past relationships when discussing relationshipal topics (yep, just made that word up). Heck, sometimes I may just devote an entire post to someone, like this or this or this… you get the point. But most of these people have had a pretty short shelf life (on the blog and in real life), except for two names that regularly come up on the blog and in real life. Jake and Cosby. Yeah, you know ’em well lol.
Part of the reason I’ve grown OK with discussing the fact that it’s taken me far longer than I would prefer to remove both names from my life is that I know most people have been there. And if we can’t discuss how absolutely annoying it is to want to be over someone and not quite be there amongst reading family, then when can we? Right?
But the kicker is, and what we haven’t really quite covered here, is the absolute JOY when you realize, “hey, I just might be over this sucka!” Now, let me say right here that this is the perfect time to fall into a trap with a guy such as Jake or Cosby or whoever your guy may be for you (
ahem, WDC). It’s reeaaaal easy to think you’re over someone, see them again (say at a platinum wedding on Valentine’s Day in a nice tuxedo) and all of a sudden, be RIGHT back where you were before. Clearly I’ve been there and clearly, I wasn’t as over either of them as I thought. As an aside, if you have to rename someone in your mobile phonebook “SERIOUSLY, DO NOT ANSWER THE PHONE” and you STILL the answer the phone, pretty good clue you’re not quite over them yet lol.
So how do you know when you actually are? Well, I’m sure there aren’t a lot of concrete reasons, but recently, I saw both my guys in different capacities and both situations showed me just how much I’ve managed to move on. Without getting into specifics, I can definitely pinpoint some ways to know that you’re over him now. Let’s go for a ride, shall we?
1. When you get drunk, you have no inclination to call him, text him, ping him, email him, Facebook him, or drunkenly tell your friends how much you love him and he’s your “solemate.” This also means that you have no inclination to “check and see” what he’s doing on Facebook or Twitter, especially when you don’t have a Twitter account. Just sayin…
2. Those feelings don’t come flooding back to you when you see him again – even if it’s been a long time since you’ve seen him. We all know how the memories can come into your head when you see someone you’re still in like/in love with. You’re walking down the street and they turn around and BAMN, they smile at you and all of a sudden, you’re all giddy and googly-eyed like this person wasn’t the same one you were just talking shit to your friends about…But when it’s over – it’s not even a concern… you see him, acknowledge him, and keep it moving.
3. That chemistry you two used to have? You know the one that made folks so uncomfortable because they felt like they were in your boudoir? It’s completely and utterly gone.
4. You can hug him (to keep up appearances since everyone else hugged him) and not feel some type of way. It’s also a pretty clear sign when you can talk about or to that person without disgust forming on your face lol, because disgust still means you care, which leads me to…
5. Last but not least, any anger or disgust that you had for him has turned into something more disengaged. Someone wise used to say that hate is just another version of love. It sounds crazy when you first hear it, but when you think about it. It actually makes sense. In order for you to hate someone, you have to feel passionately enough about them to incite that type of reaction. The opposite of love is actually indifference. If you get to the point where you are indifferent to that person… you’re definitely over him/her.
Did I miss anything, dear readers? And what are some times when you knew you’d finally gotten over someone?