The Art of going out as a Young “Urban” Professional

14 10 2010

ie: how The Park at 14th Street in DC always makes me cringe lol

This past Friday, my friends and I went to partay at The Park in DC for one of my girls’ birthdays. Now, we had a good time, a great time in fact, due to some well drank lemon drop shots, a bone crusher, a gigantic glass of Hennessy and coke, and more… But normally Park (as its affectionately called) makes me want to gouge my eyes out.

It wasn’t always this way. I can remember the first time I went there like it was yesterday, even though it was maybe 3 years ago, on a Thursday night, during Howard’s homecoming (I told you I can remember like it was yesterday). CCB had just come in town that day and after running a few errands which included making some Ciroc-filled 711 slushies and then downing them like they weren’t Ciroc-filled, we put on our finest chic club attire and headed on over to the new club everyone had been talking about. We walked in the space, went straight for the bar and ordered shots of Patron and proceeded to have one of the best nights EVER! Seriously – we had a ridiculously good time and by the time the night was over (around 4ish in the morning), everyone in the club was spent. We’d been dancing and drinking the night away, and CCB and I could barely walk back to her car in our 4 inch stilettos.

Unfortunately, that would be one of the last few times I could actually say I had a great time at Park (this Friday, being a rare exception).

So what happened? Did I become an old fogie in three years time? I don’t think so – I mean, I can still hang with the best of them when the situation calls for it. No, I think what happened is that the club atmosphere at Park and really throughout DC changed. Now, when I go there, all you see are people sitting or standing around, sipping cocktails, and trying to throw business cards at each other. That’s cool for a networker or a mix and mingle, but for a night out on the town – eh, eh.

But that’s what it’s become. And Park’s not the only spot it’s happened to – they’re just the easiest target. I can name at least 5 spots that used to be the best places to go to and now have way too many folks trying to be too cool for school. And I’m wondering if it’s a product of DC or if it’s what naturally happens as you get older.

I have a sinking feeling that it’s the latter. And this is why – one night, a couple years ago, C-Murder and I called ourselves going to this club for “older adults.” By older adults, I mean that the average age was 25 – 30, as opposed to 21-24 and we were soooo freakin’ bored. It just seemed like no one was having a good time, because they were all so busy trying to out prissy each other or trying to show the other person how sophisticated they were. We said then, “please don’t let us become those people.” And I don’t think we have for the most part – but oh, the people in the club around us all have.

Ironically enough, it’s become uncool to the dance…. in the club! No one is saying you have to monkey in the stick, but geez, move something! Anyway, instead of continuing to complain, I’d rather discuss ways to master the new club environment for the young “urban” professional. Here are some things you MUST do:

A. You must bring business cards with you. It doesn’t matter if you are the assistant to the assistant to the secretary of Kinkos… bring your business card. You see, young “urban” professionals don’t ask for your phone number anymore – they ask for your card. And you don’t want to be standing there looking stupid as the guy pulls out his cards and you have none*.

B.You must wear 4 inch stilettos and don’t even think about bringing back-up flats or flip flops. You won’t need them anyway, because you won’t be dancing. You’ll either be standing at the bar/wall/near the VIP section, hoping someone notices you so you get asked in, or you’ll be sitting in VIP already. Neither of those activities requires back-up shoes. Plus, no one buys drinks for a girl with flip flops on, right?

C. You must mean mug every guy in the club, except the one (usually in VIP) who you have your eye set on. Why? Because that guy has to know that you’re picky and he should feel privileged when he comes over and asks for your business card and you give it to him. See, it’s all in the details.

Those are just a few that I can think of right now. Does anyone have any other musts for going out as a young “urban” professional?

*Incidentally, for some odd reason, I have four boxes of different business cards for myself and yet, the last time someone asked me for my card, I didn’t have the right one on me. Don’t be me – make sure you bring the right card to the club.

PS: I hope that everyone was smart enough to get that all of those must haves were sarcastic. No? You thought they were real? sigh… okay.

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By the by, I thought about doing a post on the whole Mean Girls of Morehouse thing, but since so many people have already written something about it – I chose not to. Besides, one of my good friends, Michael Arceneaux pretty much summed up my entire thought process about it all in 2 paragraphs. Not sure I could have said it any better —-> BLOGGERS RESPOND

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2 responses

14 10 2010
Country Club Barbie

Please don’t forget that unless you’re chatting up the onnnnnne cutie you’ve been eyeing all night you must be on your PDA at all times. Even if you are pretending to be checking that important email or life changing text. Your PDA must be glued to your hands or your ear. In fact, I’m a young urban professional waiting for my train, mean muggin mad people and sending this comment from my blackberry. I’m also sipping a pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks in the mug I bought from home (because to be a young urban professional you must also be green).

15 10 2010
dbaham

Ahhhh yes, how could I possibly forget that one?! lol #slackin

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