Rules Schmools

23 09 2010

We’ve all heard them before – the rules to dating. Sigh — you know the ones that say, “Don’t call a guy right back, because you don’t want him to think you’re pressed.” I absolutely hate the typical dating rules, partly because they tend to be more about what women shouldn’t do and also because, quite honestly, they just don’t matter. If a guy is interested in you, it’s not going to bug him out that you called 10 minutes after he left a message on your voicemail (wait – do people still leave messages on voicemails? hmmm). And if he isn’t feeling you – then you could call 2 days later and he’d still be telling his boys how he’s got this broad pressed.

It. Doesn’t. Matter.

But, people have made a living off of selling these rules to us. And by us – yes, I mean women. I can’t tell you how many books I’ve seen get on the New York Times Bestseller list because they’re trying to school us on how to properly date a man without, you know, being yourself. Don’t laugh too much. Don’t ask too many questions. And for goodness sake, DEFINITELY don’t talk about yourself! Ummmm, if you’re anything like me – you have enough of a complex going on in your head already if you’re out on a date with a guy you like… you don’t need a list of rules running through your head, trying to make sure you don’t break them.

Don’t get me wrong, some things are just common sense. Hey, you might not want to kiss a guy and then hit him with the “WHEW! That was amazing” comment right after because it probably seems like you haven’t kissed anyone in 22 years, and you’re 25. BUT at the same time, if you do happen to do that and the guy likes you enough – he’ll laugh that off, make a joke about it with you and keep the party going. If he doesn’t, he probably wasn’t trying to take it past that kiss anyway.

All that said, here are a few rules I think just pretty much all around suck monkey balls. Yeah I said it. Big Sweaty Face Monkey Balls.

You MUST Wait 30 days before you have sex with a guy

Really? Because after 30 days, he won’t just drop your ass because you waited for some magic number to pass by before giving up the goods? No ma’am. Here’s the thing: I get the purpose of this one. The idea behind it is that you should probably get to know someone past the initial “giiiiiiiiiiiiirl he is so cute” comments to your friends. You should probably know his goals, ambitions, fears, etc before giving him access to your inner cavity (you know, if you’re not just looking for a jump off thing). But who decided that 30 days was the amount of time it would take for that to happen? I think it’s better just to be sensible and listen to your heart and brain equally. Numbers don’t tell you when you’re ready for that step with that person – only you two can decide that. Hell, I was with a guy for almost a year before we had sex for the first time. We ended things a month later. Yea, 30 days don’t mean ish… lol

DO NOT kiss on the first date

Why not?! What if you really want to kiss him? Now, not every first date calls for a kiss, even ones that go really well. It might not be the setting for a kiss or the date may not have been particular romantic, but was still fun. But if it was romantic and/or you found yourself really wanting to kiss this person, if he goes in for the kiss – why can’t you do it? Because society says that you can’t? Hmph. Society can kiss my arse… not on the 1st date though, because that would be inappropriate.

Wait 90 days before calling him/her your girlfriend

You notice that most of these rules are about waiting? Hmmmm… anyway, this one is another one that I can kind of get. I do think that people jump into relationships too fast sometimes. Y’all are all of a sudden cooking and cleaning for each other and you never went on a date before? un uh. BUT the thing is, you shouldn’t have to slow down your relationship to meet some strange benchmark. Plus, I mean… I move slowly and even I think 3 months might be a lot lol.

Anyway, are there any other dating rules you’d like to kick to the curb? Or throw in the trash? Or whatever you youngsters are saying these days?

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19 10 2011
CLANK! CLANK!! « Choices, Voices, and Sole

[…] your legs closed to married men. Now, you all know by now that I’m not that girl who believes you hold off a certain amount of time before sleeping with someone, but that it’s more important to listen to your gut when deciding if you want to give up the […]

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