MAKEOVER your emotions…

16 09 2010

I know I haven’t posted this week, and this is slightly a BS post – but I promise goodies next week, mkay? Anyway – in the meantime, if you have a lax day this Friday or you need a sanity break, take O Magazine’s Quiz “Do you need an emotional makeover?” In case you can’t see the questions in the photo, they are posted below, as well as the results. But don’t look at the results until after you’ve completed the quiz… and then, of course I’m going to need you to share. Why? Cuz sharing is caring – it’s Friday and I’d like some good fodder at work today 🙂 OH and make sure to pick your answer by whatever your first response would be – don’t over analyze.

Don’t worry, I’ll let you know which results I got as well (at the end of the post). I can say that I was quite surprised at my results, but I’ll get to that later. You – get to quizzing yourself. Enjoy!

1. When a painful memory comes up in conversation, you are most likely to…

A. Excuse yourself and walk away.

B. Try to reason away your discomfort; this really shouldn’t hurt anymore.

C. Lose your composure and become tearful or angry.

D. Relive the incident, dwelling on the details.

E. Feel a pang of sadness and change the topic.

2. Late at night, you wake up worried about something you need to do tomorrow. You…

A. Get up and prepare for all possible outcomes.

B. Roll over and fall back asleep.

C. Wake up a friend or partner for reassurance.

D. Stare at the ceiling, unable to clear your head.

E. Try to relax and resolve to get up early to deal with it.

3. A friend calls you, distraught over a breakup. How are you likely to respond?

A. “I know the perfect person for you!”

B. “You two weren’t a good match anyway.”

C. “I can’t deal with this now.”

D. “I’m still hurting from my last breakup, too.”

E. “I’m sorry that you’re feeling so miserable.”

4. Upon hearing the news that a beloved family member has died, you…

A. Go numb and block it out.

B. Sit down and make a list of what has to be done to deal with the situation.

C. Experience a jumble of feelings, including panic.

D. Want to be alone with your sadness.

E. Call someone who can comfort you.

5. You feel nervous. What is your first thought?

A. I think I’ll watch some TV.

B. This is weird. Why is this happening?

C. Oh no, not again…

D. I hope something good happens to make me feel better soon.

E. What can I do to de-stress?

6. At a dinner party, you spill tomato sauce on a white rug. Immediately, you…

A. Run to get something to clean it up.

B. Stand back and analyze whether or not it will stain.

C. Get defensive with your host and make an excuse.

D. Feel stricken with shame.

E. Offer a sincere apology.

7. A clerk refuses to accept your return. What do you do?

A. Apologize, leave, and try to forget about it.

B. Resolve to sell the item online or give it to a friend.

C. Lose your cool at the counter.

D. Walk out and seethe about the incident for a few hours.

E. Politely request to discuss the matter with her boss.

8. When you are sad, you…

A. Quickly do whatever it takes to distract yourself.

B. Feel some surprise about how infrequently this happens to you.

C. Become frustrated.

D. Resign yourself to the emotion. You expect to feel this way for a while.

E. Take a brief moment to acknowledge the sadness, then do something nice for yourself.

9. A friend has hurt your feelings. Your gut reaction is to…

A. Just let it go. She probably didn’t mean it.

B. Figure out what you did to provoke this.

C. Pour out your sadness and anger to her right away.

D. Dodge her calls for a few days. Nothing she can say will make it better.

E. Tell her how you feel once you’ve had time to cool off.

10. At happy hour, someone tells an off-color joke. You…

A. Laugh nervously.

B. Ignore it. Not your problem.

C. Feel upset and ashamed but stay silent.

D. Get angry and leave the conversation.

E. Calmly express your disapproval.


Alright, now that you have your answers picked out. Tally which letter you circled most ad figure out where you stand below. Here are the potential results (O Magazine included advice from Jonathan Kaplan, PhD, but I’ve taken that out for space purposes lol):

If you tallied mostly A Responses: You have an Avoidant Style

You can’t handle feeling scared or angry or sad, so you dodge circumstances that might evoke those emotions. Someone with this style might not apply for her dream job because she’s afraid she’ll bomb the interview. Or she might turn down a date because she gets nervous around new people…

If you tallied mostly B Responses: You have a Disconnected Style

Your rational side tends to overpower your emotional side, and you can be so disengaged from your feelings that you have difficulty identifying – let alone expressing – them. Many of my clients with this style didn’t have enough opportunities to be emotional when they were younger, often because they were forced to look after siblings or prop up their parents…

If you tallied mostly C Responses: You have an Overwhelmed Style

You often lose control emotionally, feel powerless to stop the negative feelings, then become frustrated and ashamed. I’ve seen patients turn to food, drugs, even cutting, in an attempt to short-circuit emotions. They key is learning to slow down when you are feeling overwhelmed.

If you tallied mostly D Responses: You have a Stuck Style

People with this style understand their feelings, but can’t get over them. They tend to dwell on past events – say, the end of a relationship or some injustice once suffered at work – and believe that whatever emotion they are suffering will last forever. The solution lies in addressing the emotion, rather than the experience that caused it.

If you tallied mostly E Responses: You have a Balanced Style

You’re doing just fine, comfortably handling the full spectrum of feelings. When something upsets you, you allow yourself to experience the pain but also take action to minimize the discomfort, which indicates your compassion and self-confidence.

Sooooo…. which style did you get? Somehow, I got the Balanced Style, but I just KNEW that I was going to get Disconnected or Avoidant style and I was no where near getting either of those. Interesting… I guess if O says it’s so, I’m going with it lol




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