Your Place or Mine?

19 07 2010

Isn’t that one of life’s interesting questions? It seems so simple at first, but really, in the dating/sexing universe – it’s actually become a quite complicated little game.

One would think that it would be as simple as whose place was closer or whose turn it was to clean the sheets… but I’ve found that it can be quite a power conundrum. If you don’t think that’s true – ask a girl who has never been invited to a guy’s house (because he always insists he come over to hers) or a guy who is not allowed at a woman’s house – you’ll soon see how quickly this question can turn into a situation.

Why is this?

Well, because there’s a lot of power that can be displayed in both scenarios. Say you’re a woman who prefers to leave whenever she wants, doesn’t want to have to deal with trying to convince the guy to go, and has a car that makes it possible for you to dip anytime post coital – well, chances are that you would probably prefer the option of rssfeeding at his house. Or if you’re a man who would prefer to not have to get up and leave – to make her leave when you’re ready – you may prefer the option of your place instead of hers. Both of these situations exert a certain amount of power, whether realized or not.

Unfortunately, in the dating game – a lot of times, it’s about who has the upper hand. It sounds crazy, but I’ve heard it plenty of times. One of my girls might say something like, “oh I always have him come over by me – I don’t trust that fool. He might have cameras or something at his place.” Or one of my guy friends will say, “I always go over by her – so I can bounce whenever I feel like it.” And it all sounds so strange to me, until I think about it in other terms. This question is basically the same question when it comes to giving out your phone number. Do you give the guy your number, only take his, or exchange?

Typically when a woman gets a man’s number and doesn’t exchange with him, it’s one of two things – she has no intention of calling him OR she wants to hold the power in the relationship for a small amount of time. By getting the number only, she dictates when the calling starts. She holds the power. This small symbol says a lot, because not every woman feels the need to exert this power in the beginning and the ones who do are most likely to be the same ones wanting some sense of power about the place of sexing. And vice versa for the men.

Is this always the case? Of course not. Sometimes the two people exchange numbers equally and exchange places as well. But if you ever find yourself in a situation where it’s one or the other, it would be best to recognize that someone’s trying to wear the pants. Is it you or your partner?




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