Where’s Waldo?

27 05 2010

As you all are quite aware by now, the new thing to talk about is why back women can’t get married these days. We pull out all these statistics, get gullible women to participate in ‘specials’ on TV and we help create an entire publishing industry based around who can help the lowly back woman the best.

Thing is, though, from my perspective – a very single one, mind you – I’m not seeing these black women who can’t get married. I’m calling BS. I mean, really where is waldo???

Sure, I know women who aren’t married and I surely know women who desperately want to be married, but aren’t. But doesn’t everyone, regardless of race or gender? Does this necessarily mean that there’s some massive phenomenon occurring that has black women looking forward to futures with 10 cats and 5 dogs, but no man? I don’t think so. I just don’t see it. Let’s talk about what I do see… In the past 2 years (right around the time all this talk began to skyrocket), I have some stats of my own I’d like to present to everyone.

2009 – I knew 15 black couples who got married/ 3 black couples who got engaged.
2010 (which isn’t half over) – I know 3 black couples who’ve gotten married and 3 black couples to get engaged.

And I don’t think I’m an anomaly. I think that if you take a second and look around, you’ll find just as many couples in your network that are either married, engaged, or with someone seriously. And for those that aren’t, it’s time to realize that it’s not because you’re a black woman or because you’re too picky or not picky enough or whatever concept someone wants to throw out. It just means that it’s not your time yet… but that doesn’t mean it won’t happen.

So what can you do if you’re single in the meantime? I say, focus on being happy with you and get out there and have fun with all the boys life has to offer. That way, when you do meet that great guy who you want to spend the rest of your life with and vice versa, you can honestly say there’s nothing to stop you from going forward with this person.

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22 02 2012
Silly Reason Why (People Think) I’m Not Married « Choices, Voices, and Sole

[…] years about the apparent new wave of single-osity amongst late 20s and 30s women. I’ve stated on HERE before that they must not be surveying the people I know, but I will readily admit that it is […]

27 06 2012
If Men Date by Need & Women Date by Want, Where do We Meet? « Choices, Voices, and Sole

[…] MandyPants is one of those women I mentioned in this post. She's happily married and now happily a new mom, so when I look to get advice about my dating […]

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