Intimate Activities

11 04 2010

“I want somebodyyyyy to walk up behind meeeee, and kiss me on my neck, and breaaaathe on my neck.” – Erykah Badu

There are certain things are universally considered intimate. I think by now, you all know I would place cuddling at the very top of this list. At the VERY top. But in case you don’t feel like clicking on those links or have never heard my theory on cuddling before, let’s just say that I treat cuddling like some guys treat kissing. Sure it’s great – wonderful, in fact… but the mere act of having someone envelope my body with theirs, in a manner where I can feel and hear his heart beat and have his body heat taking over my natural coldness…. that’s an intimate ass process. You may not agree, but most people do – so I say cuddling is universally accepted as intimate.

But… there are some things that you may not realize how intimate they are until you’ve actually done them. Here are a couple I think fit that bill.

Kissing on the neck/below the ear area

At first thought, this act sounds more sexual than anything, right? I’m sure you’ve seen it in the movies or on television and it’s usually followed by the two people moving right along into making out and then sex. But when it actually happens to you… when a guy comes up behind you while you’re brushing your teeth and kisses you on the back of your neck – that’s intimate. It doesn’t always lead to sex, but I guarantee you it will lead  to you closing your eyes and possibly leaning back on him… almost like standing up cuddling. UGH! lol

Holding hands as an adult

When you’re a kid (read: teenager), holding someone’s hand is significant because you’re basically letting your world know this is my boo. But when you’re an adult – it’s less about the people around you and more about the connection between the two of you. Have you ever been in the room or car or wherever alone with a guy and have him reach out his hand to hold yours? If so, you know what I mean. That moment where you accept and put your hand in his, it’s not a moment you forget. OR have you ever been holding someone’s hand and have him lightly rub inside the palm of your hand? It’s one of those quiet intimate moments between you and that guy – and don’t even get me started on if it’s done while cuddling. Double whammy. lol

The forehead kiss

There’s something innocent, but not so innocent when a man kisses you on your forehead. It’s reassuring, but still sexy. We all saw how much trouble they got into about the forehead kiss on The Best Man, and I know a certain blogger who puts this activity where I put cuddling. I can’t tell you why it’s so intimate – but trust me, once you have it done to you… you’ll know instantly.

The bear hug

Part of the greatness about the bear hug with a man is that it’s not sexual at all, but with the right man and the right hug – you’ll want to drop your panties (and everything else you have on) instantly. I’m sure it has a lot to do with the fact that it gives you a sense of security even for a moment and it may have to do with Mandy’s theory that everyone wants to be held in some way (no matter how much we deny it).

What do you all think? Have I missed any other activities that are more intimate than they initially seem?

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9 responses

12 04 2010
countryclubbarbie

How in the world could this post possibly be my fault 😉

12 04 2010
dbaham

You and I BOTH know the answer to that question – but I won’t bust you out on here 🙂

…. you’re welcome.

12 04 2010
countryclubbarbie

I feel like I should get some sort of commission on your blog . . . at least 48% of your posts are my fault.

12 04 2010
dbaham

pure exaggeration!

12 04 2010
Maranda Ward

I agree with the list, but I would have to personally re-order a couple of things. Not to mention- add a couple more details to your list:

About hand holding- yes, I am definitely into PDA but I must admit, I prefer the interlocked hands over the cupped hands. Something about it just says ‘we are connected’.

And then onto the neck or forehead kiss-yes, clearly this is absolute sheer seduction. But if you think about any non-lip related kiss (outside of the cheeks, of course) its super sultry and sexy to me. Like a kiss on the nose, on the collarbone etc. To me- this shows genuine interest because the obvious kiss would be the lips but the fact that he took the time to find other neglected parts of your body to show love to- lets me know he knows wassup.

Lastly, cuddling. I like cuddling but its clearly NOT at the top of my list. Sex is the most intimate act ever. I think cuddling finishes it off but its not more intimate (on the scale of intimacy). But every moment is not cuddle worthy. I mean, one- sometimes its hot as hell. And other times, you just dont feel like it. I dont think there is anything wrong with skipping the cuddle time, esp if this is such a savory aspect of intimacy. You should preserve it for special times so it doesnt lose its touch. If you do it every time, it takes away its wow factor.

But I must take the time to introduce one more intimate act that was omitted from the list, Darbs. This is the stare. I love this- when you walk up to him and you can only imagine what he is thinking from the stare he is giving you. Its like his eyes are kissing you. I love that ish.

So my order would be (from most intimate to less intimate):
Sex, kissing on the mouth, kissing everywhere else (not including cheeks), cuddling, holding interlocked hands and the stare.

13 04 2010
dbaham

Hey Maranda!

So the list isn’t in any particular order (well other than my personal belief in cuddling being the highest… but that’s an exception lol). To your addition – I TOTES AGREE with it! I can’t believe I omitted that in the initial entree… my badness! Cuz a look… in his eyes… whew!!!!! That ish can be intimate as all get out! 🙂

for handholding – I definitely agree that the interlocked fingers is the more intimate of the two!

and for the neck/forehead kiss – you know I don’t think I ever thought of it in that way. Good explanation though! I like it!

now we don’t agree on the cuddling – but that’s okay lol. We’re *here* on EVERYTHING else! I personally think that with the right guy, cuddling doesn’t have to be before or after sex… it can stand on its own. And to me there’s nothing like being held by the guy you’re in love with. Now, sure sex CAN be extremely intimate – but I don’t place that as the ultimate because there are times when to be quite frank, people have sex with folks that don’t have their heart. But cuddling… for me… never loses its wow factor because there’s never a time when I let that happen with someone who doesn’t have me. I guess my point is that sometimes sex can be just sex – raw, carnal physical pleasure… but cuddling, that’s something altogether different.

Thanks for commenting hun! WOOT!!!!

17 05 2011
duplex30

j aimerai rencontrer une personalite qui veut partager son coeur avec une personne de grandeur pouvant venir a tout ces , etc;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

26 10 2011
Is Your Cuddling Style a Physical Preference or Something Deeper? « Choices, Voices, and Sole

[…] the opposite end of that spectrum, there’s the lazy cuddler. Now, y‘all know I don’t go around cuddling with just anyone, so the lazy cuddler annoys me to no end. You know who he is. The guy who lays on his back, places […]

18 10 2015
Robert

I think that you have failed to mention what I consider to be the most intimate ever. And that is breast feeding. My wife breast feeds me daily. It is a time that it is just us. I suckle every morning before we get up and then again at bed time. Thirty minutes each time of me touching her body in a quiet and peaceful way. It is a connection beyond any other. And it leads to some of the best sex ever. I wouldn’t trade this for anything.

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