How BAD are you?!

8 03 2010

My chick bad, my chick hood, my chick do stuff that your chick wish she could… my chick bad, badder than yours… ~ Ludacris

It figures that Ludacris would make another catchy rap song that we women can dance to and try to act like it’s something good for us. (Shawna’s Gettin Some, ring a bell for anyone?) But instead of just letting my hips do the listening (cuz you know the beat makes me want to get down on the flo’, on the flo’) I’d rather discuss what makes a chick bad… really.

Now, this will require a bit of feedback from my male readers, but ladies – don’t worry, I still want your opinion too. Heck, we can talk about what makes a guy bad as well. You know I could talk about that allllll day 🙂 But let’s start with Ludacris’ definition… Seems to me, a bad chick equals a woman who’s f-ing amazing in bed, she’s quite hood, she’s swagalicious, she ummmm wears white jeans???, she leaves Luda speechless and makes him repeat himself all at once, she plays a mean tennis game like Venus and Serena, she knows how to take a good patron shot, but she also has a bit of a temper (and so do her friends), and of course – his whole crew wants to bone her, probably because she can strip on a pole really well.

Pretty specific, no?

Especially if you decided to act like this was one of those Cosmopolitan quizzes, you know the ones… “How bad are you, really???” or “How much badness do you exude?” complete with a description like, find out if you could be on Luda’s second remix to “My Chick Bad” (basically, would Luda consider you bad enough to write a song about or would he scoff at the mere mention of your name). Welllll… if you know anything about me – then you already know that I didn’t do very well, but let’s see just how badly I performed.

Play with me, will you?


Are you F-ing amazing in bed? Yes (1pt) No (0 pts)

Are you Hood? Yes (1pt) No (0 pts)

Are you swagalicious? Yes (1pt) No (0 pts)

Do you like to wear white jeans? Yes (1pt) No (0 pts)

Do you randomly leave men speechless or have them repeat themselves? Yes (1 pt) No (0 pts) *If yes, you need to have at least 3 examples in your head of this happening*

Do you play a great game of tennis? Yes (1 pt) No (0 pts)

Do you hold your liquor well? Yes (1pt) No (0 pts)

Do you have a temper? (Bonus 1 pt if you have friends with a temper) Yes (1pt) No (0 pts)

Does the whole crew want to bone you because of your stripper game? Yes (1 pt) No (0 pts)

Ummmm my score was a pitiful 3pts. Big SIGH! I’m clearly not bad, at least not using Luda’s definition – so you know what that means, right? We need to make a new definition!! Guys – what do you think makes a woman bad… did Luda miss any (especially any that might help me out?) Girls, what would you put for a list of what makes a guy bad?




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