… and no I don’t mean that subject you took in high school. I’m talking about that thing that for some (ahem me) trumps all in a relationship. Sure I’ve spoken of deal breakers before… but this is the ultimate one.
Even Glamour says so!
Chemistry is one of those things that just can’t be explained, but when you have it with someone, you just KNOW it. Heck, everyone knows it. People get uncomfortable around the two of you because they feel like they’ve stepped into your boudoir and no words are even being spoken. I was a witness to this before. I had a friend at work who had this amazing chemistry with this guy and every time he came around, I would literally want to crawl under my desk because I felt like I was intruding. Can you imagine?! LOL
I’ve also been on the other side.
I’ve had guys I have such amazing chemistry with that people didn’t want to be around us. They would make comments about how it looked like we were having sex with our eyes, or how it was way too steamy when the two of us are around each other, or how no children needed to be around us because just our presence was x-rated. Again, without any words being spoken… but that’s how chemistry works.
And then sometimes it doesn’t work. Like. at. all. I’ve had that too, unfortunately. And it always surprises me when it happens because as evidenced in the paragraph above, I’ve had some steamy encounters with folks. Oh, but I’ve also had some dull, boring, lackluster, unimaginative, cringe -worthy snore fests as well. And the biggest thing I learned from those was that you can’t teach or force chemistry. It’s either there or it’s not. And when it’s not – nothing else matters (at least not for me.)
I once went on a date with this really cute guy (REALLY CUTE!). He was nice, he was a perfect gentleman… he was physically the kind of guy that I’m typically drawn to – great smile, dimples, 5’11, cornerback style body type – but the date was sooo bad, that just to make sure I was still able to have chemistry with someone, I called my ex when I got home from the date and sparks flew through the phone. I still blame that guy for me getting back together with BJ, but that’s for another blog post.
The point is chemistry can be explosive. It can be the thing that keeps you around longer than you should be with someone; it can be the thing that ruins the date from hello. And then… then it can be something so great when it matches up with a healthy relationship. When there’s chemistry and understanding and trust – WOWSERS!!!!! Look out world!
So have you found someone you have that type of connection with? If not, is that because it’s not as important to you as it is to me – or are you just still looking?