So now it’s in his HUG?

25 11 2009

Okay… this is going a little too far now.

"giving Cosmo the side-eye on this one"

We’ve been told for years you could tell how a guy felt about you by the way he kissed you. Of course, this was before people regularly just started enjoying the art of kissing randoms, so I guess Cosmo felt another sign needed to be considered. But his hug?

Well, according to the bastion of man knowledge (eek to anyone who really believes that, I mean, I love them and all – but come on), there are four hugs that a guy can give you that will signal his feelings towards you: The sneak attack, which is the hug from behind; the rub, where he gently strokes your back while he’s holding you; the pat, where he thumps your upper back during an embrace; and the waist wrap, where he encircles your lower back with his hands and pulls you tightly toward him.

And I mean, it sounds alright as far as theory… but I’m not buying it as much as I think they want me to.

First of all – how could they forget the all important bear hug?!!?!? Seriously – once I realized this was not on the list, they lost all credibility for the article. Second – I get that one of the bigger questions that a woman will ask herself (relationshipwise) is – “does he like me,” but I just feel like the way he hugs you won’t give you the real answer you want to know.

His hug. His kiss. Whether or not he leans towards you when he talks. Does he give you a forehead kiss? Or call you every hour on the hour? These are all interesting concepts and great magazine fodder, but not as helpful in real life. I will always and forever contend that a man makes it perfectly clear when he likes you. Seriously – you won’t have to decipher anything or pick through any codes. You will know – this man likes me.

Now, I’m the first one to admit I don’t often follow my own advice. There are times when I get caught up in the signs of “likinghood” and start dwelling on things like, “well, I mean – he did call me babe yesterday when we were on the phone, do you think that means something?” We all do that at some point – we revert back to high school, especially when we like the guy in question… because everyone wants the person they like to like them back, right? But even I know that silly declarations such as him calling you babe don’t amount to much if it then took him another 3 weeks to call you again.

Look – all I’m saying is that you don’t need to read a book (ahem, He’s Just Not that into You) to know if a dude is feeling you or not. You don’t need to con him into a hug to see whether he rubs your back or pats you on the upper arm or some craziness – you just need to pay attention to him. He’ll tell you – in his actions and his words, in what he does or doesn’t do, he’ll tell you. It’ll be a lot clearer than anything Cosmo ever wrote – esp since they left out the bear hug as an option.

No, I didn’t forget. lol

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3 responses

27 11 2009
minaminaminaminasayyywhat?

this is right on time. i feel like 25 is too old to over analyze a mans actions to try to understand his intentions, but i find myself doing it all too often. im starting to think that expecting a man to be upfront and keep it 100 as far as wants and intentions is too unrealistic… communication, disclosure etc are a foreign concept to some of these dudes ( atleast the ones that find me). i think men are alot less willing to make themselves vulnerable today then there were back when.

its frustrating.

alot of times ill get men that want to court me, call me, hug me, whatever. they like me yes, but liking a woman and wanting to be with her is two diff things. a lot of men my age want a woman in their life, want a go-to woman, but they not ready to settle down. i dont want to be a place holder.

my stance is this. if u want me, you will say as much. u will initiate a conversation. if these things not happening u like me, but u dont like me, but not enough. i cant deal with mixed signals.

30 11 2009
dbaham

I completely understand… that’s what makes those articles so appealing to women, because it can seem frustrating sometimes, trying to decipher a guy’s interest for you. But the thing is, and this is something I’ve had to learn (the hard way lol), you shouldn’t be deciphering anything. If a guy really likes you, you won’t have to ask any questions about that. It will be quite clear. The trick is accepting when he doesn’t and not making excuses or trying to rationalize why he “may” like you – when the truth is, he doesn’t.

9 08 2013
In His Touch | Choices, Voices, and Sole

[…] feelings about you. In fact, even here at Choices, Voices, and Sole, I’ve looked at his kiss, his hug, and even his texts as […]

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